head always going....

[tugofwar]

Ok, so just waiting to get his response to a court application (mere 2 weeks left)
I was just wondering how many people's brain constantly going around and around trying to figure things out. Trying to think what ex is up to? Next strategy? Trying to prepare themselves, Second guessing themselves, over reacting, etc.
I need a brain vacation and know the next few weeks I need to really step forward and keep a clear head as I know it might come off spinning (LOL)
Im trying to educate myself, try to see things from both sides, but my ex is a loose cannon right now and not sure if this is what he wants to do or is this his way of dealing with things?
Hes always on the defense, doesn't listen or read things properly etc.
Ohhh, actually glad he did us a favor...

[billiechic]

I've been doing that for 9 months straight. But it has stopped, on the day I hired a lawyer. Best sleep I've had in months. At some point you just have to leave it in someone else's hands. Even a few days of relief has done miracles for my outlook.

Not that anything has been solved, I just know that my ex cannot manipulate me anymore.

[dadtotheend]

I was just wondering how many people's brain constantly going around and around trying to figure things out. Trying to think what ex is up to? Next strategy? Trying to prepare themselves.

Everyone does it. It takes a lot of energy to leave no stone unturned in a matter that involves the most important thing in your life. When you get of court, the merry go round doesn't entirely stop spinning, but it sure as hell slows to a crawl. You're not alone.

You should be worried if you weren't feeling that way.

[tugofwar]

Yeah it started the day i got my lawyer! He wanted to do this on our own. Extremely pissed I even went to one. Started seperation agreement- got me absolutely no where and felt i had no other option then to pressure him with court application. He can't control me or my thoughts NO more!!!!
I love the strong person that I am. I will be able to sleep at night because I am doing something I can live with for the rest of my life. Being me and keeping our child my main focus!

[Mess]

We all went through this. In some ways it is actually helpful, you are memorizing and learning and figuring things out. It's also unhealthy when it becomes obsessive, and sometimes you feel like you're going crazy.

If you have a good friend who's willing to listen regularly that helps a lot, but be carefull your friend doesn't give you too much encouragement and you turn it into brainstorming sessions. That will actually make it worse.

Therapy helps. Meditation helps. Exercise helps. Reading helps me a lot (not divorce book! Adventures, detective, romance whatever). Being able to put that focus somewhere else for a while.

It is hard but it doesn't last forever, although at times it seems like it will. You will pull through.

[tugofwar]

Ain't nothin' gonna break my break my stride,
nobody gonna slow me down, oh no,
I've got to keep on movin'.
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride,
I'm runnin' and I won't touch ground, oh no,
I've got to keep on movin'.

[billiechic]

LOL! That's it!!

[tugofwar]

Bet you that song will be stuck in your head for a few days...lol but thats a good thing,
need to add song to my cell phone ringtone!!!

[tugofwar]

Just felt I have been put thru the ringer these last few weeks. Our child was sick this week, did not sleep well (I was sleeping on the floor, couldn't leave the room) work has been stressful got called upstairs due to my lateness (working on that) and everything else. Man, it's alot for 1 person..... dont wish anyone in my shoes or anyone else that is a decent person going thru this....

[tugofwar]

and Im just so lucky to have a wonderful support system in place!!! Amen!!

[tugofwar]

It like if you have a difficult customer that your dealing with. Yelling and screaming, throwing hands in the air (one who loves conflict and strives on seeing you break down or get angry) (my ex today) then you calming and in your nicest voice tell him "to have a nice day" (him totally not expecting that) with the biggest smile on your face, that's how I felt today! And I think its killing my ex to see me this way...
So, have a nice day

[tugofwar]

Am I a senior member yet?

[tugofwar]

Yeah, Im a senior member!!!! LA LA LA!

[billiechic]

LOL, too funny

[mom2kids]

I sooo get that! I have been living exactly that way for the last 2 months - I would love to take my mind of of it for a day, but I can't no matter what I do. In about 6-7 years when my kids are finished post-secondary school and I can wash my hands of this man, I'm having a great big party, lol!