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and the control continues

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  • and the control continues

    Quick history: married for 6 years to a man who had to be in control. He was/is very verbally abusive and emotionally. Our divorce took 2 yrs because he didn't want to get divorced. Then he wanted to get remarried and said I was holding things up. I was so relieved he was moving on to someone else, thinking my daughter and I would be rid of his controlling nature.

    Seems not so. His access is every second Sunday. I have sole custody, for almost 1 yr. In the past 9 months he has requested access change 11 times, do to his "lifestyle" he has gone on, weddings and parties he had to attend etc. He was suppose to give me his summer visitation dates by April 1st, I have posted on this...and I have taken advice from people on this site, however it is May 11th and still I wait for his request. He tells me what I can and cannot do in my life...still.

    So now:
    I have recently finished up my contracted job. I have been given a new position with great responsibility....however it would involve a move which would involved a variation to the visitation, as it is a 4 hour plane ride away. I would be moving with my daughter, she is 6 in June, and I have friends there to support us (I have known these people since I was 10, so 20 years). And my mom would be coming with us, my dad would join us a month later plus other family.

    We approached my ex with this move, we offered him summers, spring holidays, and Christmas, as well as webcam set up and my dad offered to pay his flight and costs for a week any time during this year....

    I will be able to advance in my career and my daughter would have a cultural and educational experience of a lifetime, plus she would be with all her friends from when she and I go on vacations here to this place (we vacation at this place so it is not new to her).

    My ex was receptive at first, but after talking it over with his wife...he has outrightly said NO. He thinks chunks at holidays will impede his social lifestyle, and that he wants every other Sunday visits because it works best for him. He feels taking her for chunks in the summer means less golf and drinking time for him and his wife (she has two children 8 and 10.)

    I have no work here. I have no advancement opportunities where I currently live, and all my friends and some family live where I would like to move. If I stay where I am I will have to go on unemployment, I am highly qualified: I have my BSc(hons) my BEd and my MSc. I am working on my PhD.....but there are no jobs where I live (small town and no one close to retirement). Where I am going I am going to be Head of Senior school Math and Science.

    What are my legal options? Do I have a leg to stand on?
    I am thinking in the best interest of my child....bringing her closer to friends/family, providing a good lifestyle for her, financially and health care and education (she would be able to attend a Christian faith private school..we are Christian my ex is an atheist).

    Thank you for your help and advise in advance. I appreciate people trying to help me out here.

  • #2
    There was a very similar case recently on the forum. The mother was moving her kids to the US. Do a search on it.
    You have a case for a better life for the kids.
    You have to convince your ex that the court would approve this, so why go through the expense.



    • #3
      I will look for that FreeNow, thank you.


      • #4
        You don't really have a leg to stand on in terms of moving 4 hours away unless your spouse agrees to it. It's unfortunate but he has legal access to his child and you can't make that difficult for him. Check this link:
        Divorce and Relocating Children : Canadian Divorce Laws


        • #5
          another 2 year old post


          • #6
            lol, yeah, not sure what the wave was about...but they did leave impression with unique foot print.


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