Good morning all,
I'm posting again looking for some guidance, support and I know some of you might have been through family court processes.
As the title indicates, this is a second part to a situation that I have been faced with and the story and problematic situation just simply go on.
To put you in context, here is a summary of events.
Last Friday, I sent a text message to S5's father about receiving a call from the school principal, in regards to our S5 having struck another child with a mini hockey stick and about me and my family's plans for Mother's Day. (S5 was with father for that week)
Ex replied that the school had not contacted him, our S5 had not talked about the situation at school and that I would not be seeing S5 until 4pm on Mother's day since he had already made plans to attend a convention with S5. I replied to him explaining that as per our court order, I am to have access to S5 from noon to 7pm and that he could always go to the convention on Friday evening or Saturday. Ex stated that the convention times were too late on Friday and he had a baseball game in the city, that he had to work on Saturday and so I would only have S5 at 4pm. He also texted me that should I not reply to his text, saying that I want S5 at 4pm, he would consequently keep S5. (I have a habit of disengaging when ex becomes an asshole and simply do not reply to his angry texts.)
At this point, I sent him a picture of our court order stating my right to access on Mother's Day and replied that I would gladly take S5 at 4pm and that in the event that he changed his mind, I would be at his place at noon to pick S5 up before I went to our family Mother's day brunch at a golf course.
Because of this exchange, I contacted my lawyer and she decided to try and call him to help resolve the matter. (Ex expressed in January 2015, when we changed the custody order, that he could not afford his lawyer any longer and was backed up in payments.) When my lawyer introduced herself after repeated attempts and calls were made, Ex hung up the phone and had no discussions in regards to this matter.
Sunday, Mother's day came, and at noon my spouse and I went to Ex's apartment. I went up the flight of stairs and knocked on the door. I could hear his pitbulls barking up a storm in the home and while standing on the staircase landing, I saw many garbage bags coupled with smoked pot roaches and cigarette butts. No one answered the door. My spouse and I left the parking lot and went to brunch.
At 3:50, we waited for S5's father to do the scheduled exchange and I received a text from Ex stating the he would be 10 minutes late. We waited an extra 35 minutes until finally Ex showed up.
Now, If you've read my previous post (with the same title), you will know that back in February, there was a same type of issue where Ex's dogs were in his home and there was a distinct smell of burnt pot in his apartment when I picked up S5 for the weekly exchange. (exchange is usually don by school bus but that Monday was a holiday). Our Court order clearly states that Ex is not to be under the influence of any drugs while S5 is under his care, and also that both his dogs, deemed aggressive, are not to be at any point in time, around S5.
Bringing you back to today, I have hired a high conflict family lawyer to help me navigate and help me acquire a custody change. Our last Court order was changed in January 2015 and therefore I need to wait 6 months prior to bringing a motion.
My concerns for the safety and well-being of S5 are now highlighted seeing as Ex's behaviors and lack of following our custody order have not subsided. I have now decided to stop all access to Ex. I'm leaving out of town for the weekend and will be dropping "the bomb" on Saturday in text to Ex. (we are to exchange S5 on Monday at 4pm, because of the upcoming holiday.) I have made a report with local law enforcements, and child services, and waiting to have an appointment with S5's school principal. Following previous concerns, I face the challenge that because ex is hostile at times and as threatened my spouse and I in the past, it is now a question of when S5 is in school, father could simply pick him up and skip town. To which at this point, police enforcements would be alerted.
My lawyer is very aware of my intentions, so are police and child services. My lawyer clearly cannot advise me to not follow my court order yet she states that this is a matter of keeping a child safe, making decisions in the child's best interests and that all parents have a duty to protect a child from potential harm. She is also connecting me with a parenting coach who will help guide me through this and give me strength. I want to make it clear to you, the reader, that I have never stopped any access and that since being separated, I have dealt with countless similar situations.
Has anyone ever gone through this? I know it's a lot of information to register in, I'm sorry. I'm simply looking for support and personal experiences. I also do not feel that I need to have writers loose their minds over my decisions, yes stopping access is a crappy thing to do, I agree but I also think that if I don't, I also agree to let S5 live in a potentially harmful situation, so I ask that any members refrain from negative commenting.
Thank you kindly.
I'm posting again looking for some guidance, support and I know some of you might have been through family court processes.
As the title indicates, this is a second part to a situation that I have been faced with and the story and problematic situation just simply go on.
To put you in context, here is a summary of events.
Last Friday, I sent a text message to S5's father about receiving a call from the school principal, in regards to our S5 having struck another child with a mini hockey stick and about me and my family's plans for Mother's Day. (S5 was with father for that week)
Ex replied that the school had not contacted him, our S5 had not talked about the situation at school and that I would not be seeing S5 until 4pm on Mother's day since he had already made plans to attend a convention with S5. I replied to him explaining that as per our court order, I am to have access to S5 from noon to 7pm and that he could always go to the convention on Friday evening or Saturday. Ex stated that the convention times were too late on Friday and he had a baseball game in the city, that he had to work on Saturday and so I would only have S5 at 4pm. He also texted me that should I not reply to his text, saying that I want S5 at 4pm, he would consequently keep S5. (I have a habit of disengaging when ex becomes an asshole and simply do not reply to his angry texts.)
At this point, I sent him a picture of our court order stating my right to access on Mother's Day and replied that I would gladly take S5 at 4pm and that in the event that he changed his mind, I would be at his place at noon to pick S5 up before I went to our family Mother's day brunch at a golf course.
Because of this exchange, I contacted my lawyer and she decided to try and call him to help resolve the matter. (Ex expressed in January 2015, when we changed the custody order, that he could not afford his lawyer any longer and was backed up in payments.) When my lawyer introduced herself after repeated attempts and calls were made, Ex hung up the phone and had no discussions in regards to this matter.
Sunday, Mother's day came, and at noon my spouse and I went to Ex's apartment. I went up the flight of stairs and knocked on the door. I could hear his pitbulls barking up a storm in the home and while standing on the staircase landing, I saw many garbage bags coupled with smoked pot roaches and cigarette butts. No one answered the door. My spouse and I left the parking lot and went to brunch.
At 3:50, we waited for S5's father to do the scheduled exchange and I received a text from Ex stating the he would be 10 minutes late. We waited an extra 35 minutes until finally Ex showed up.
Now, If you've read my previous post (with the same title), you will know that back in February, there was a same type of issue where Ex's dogs were in his home and there was a distinct smell of burnt pot in his apartment when I picked up S5 for the weekly exchange. (exchange is usually don by school bus but that Monday was a holiday). Our Court order clearly states that Ex is not to be under the influence of any drugs while S5 is under his care, and also that both his dogs, deemed aggressive, are not to be at any point in time, around S5.
Bringing you back to today, I have hired a high conflict family lawyer to help me navigate and help me acquire a custody change. Our last Court order was changed in January 2015 and therefore I need to wait 6 months prior to bringing a motion.
My concerns for the safety and well-being of S5 are now highlighted seeing as Ex's behaviors and lack of following our custody order have not subsided. I have now decided to stop all access to Ex. I'm leaving out of town for the weekend and will be dropping "the bomb" on Saturday in text to Ex. (we are to exchange S5 on Monday at 4pm, because of the upcoming holiday.) I have made a report with local law enforcements, and child services, and waiting to have an appointment with S5's school principal. Following previous concerns, I face the challenge that because ex is hostile at times and as threatened my spouse and I in the past, it is now a question of when S5 is in school, father could simply pick him up and skip town. To which at this point, police enforcements would be alerted.
My lawyer is very aware of my intentions, so are police and child services. My lawyer clearly cannot advise me to not follow my court order yet she states that this is a matter of keeping a child safe, making decisions in the child's best interests and that all parents have a duty to protect a child from potential harm. She is also connecting me with a parenting coach who will help guide me through this and give me strength. I want to make it clear to you, the reader, that I have never stopped any access and that since being separated, I have dealt with countless similar situations.
Has anyone ever gone through this? I know it's a lot of information to register in, I'm sorry. I'm simply looking for support and personal experiences. I also do not feel that I need to have writers loose their minds over my decisions, yes stopping access is a crappy thing to do, I agree but I also think that if I don't, I also agree to let S5 live in a potentially harmful situation, so I ask that any members refrain from negative commenting.
Thank you kindly.
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