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Are YOUR parents divorced?

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  • Are YOUR parents divorced?

    Out of the people here how many of you have parents that are divorced - they say divorce BREEDS divorce?

    Also do you notice any trends in your family - like in my family ALL my maternal uncles and half uncles (5-6) except one are divorced but NONE of my maternal aunts are.

  • #2
    I'm not divorced mind you I've never been foolish enough to get married (totally meant as a joke), I am however from a blended family, my mom got divorced then remarried.


    • #3
      I never met any divorced families until I was in my teens. Unheard of in my world when I was young. My parents and aunts and uncles were all married - none divorced. Interestingly though, both of my siblings ended up divorcing. Of all the adult children from my siblings - none are married and all state they would never contemplate marriage and all say they will never have children.


      • #4
        Never knewith any divorced families when I was growing up. My parents divorced after 35 years, I was 30. Should have been a lot sooner to spare us kids.


        • #5
          Married 37 years. None of my family divorced but my husbands 2 sisters are divorced and every sibling on his mothers side are divorced. So it seems to come from that side of the family lol. Thank god I can blame my mother- in- law for my daughters bad choice anf failed relationship! Lol


          • #6
            Neither my parents nor my ex's parents are divorced. Sometimes divorce just mutates in out of nowhere.


            • #7
              My parents split up and got back together through our childhood with the final separation at 13. Didnt get divorced but my father ended up in a new partnership thats been going on for 15 years. He was also married at 18 and divorced at 22 before he met my mother. All my siblings are married. My partner and I have no interest in getting married. He was married for 18 years.


              • #8
                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                My parents split up and got back together through our childhood with the final separation at 13. Didnt get divorced but my father ended up in a new partnership thats been going on for 15 years. He was also married at 18 and divorced at 22 before he met my mother. All my siblings are married. My partner and I have no interest in getting married. He was married for 18 years.
                Funny thing is that my friends were at a wedding and they the traditional bouquet and garter toss.

                They said there was the regular scramble for the bouquet but when the garter toss came the guys completely escaped and a child ended up picking it up.


                • #9
                  Nearly everyone in my family is divorced, some of them multiple times. My parents divorced when I was 6 but amusingly enough they got back together a few years ago after 21 years divorced. They seem quite happy now.

                  My dad had another wife and step kids but his wife passed away. My mom dated and had many short/long term relationships but never re-married or even cohabited.

                  Because I knew divorce fairly intimately and had experienced life with a single Mom I was dead set against getting a divorce through the whole process. I knew it wouldn't solve the problems or make our lives any easier. My ex wife on the other hand has almost no divorces in her family and other than wanting to erase me from her life really had no experience. She ambushed divorced me and used many dirty tricks to steal as much money as she could. I really had no chance.


                  • #10
                    What about your kids? - my 6 & 8 yr olds are now saying they will never get married or have kids... I told them to not make any commitments just yet


                    • #11
                      My parents didn't divorce but perhaps they should have. An affair caused a rift that never healed, and we all felt it. I have 4 brothers, two that have been divorced twice, one once(plus mine). The fifth one has never been married, but did break up with his common law partner, who is the mother of his kids. They are back together now though. My one brother just got married for the third time, and despite a bad track record, this one looks and feels right. They were friends and coworkers for years before they got together, and she was there for him through a difficult recovery from an accident.


                      • #12
                        Neither my parents or my ex's parents were divorced.

                        But I didn't grow up with any friends who's parents were divorced, that was a time when it wasn't the 'norm'.

                        Quite frankly, I'm more surprised when my kids make friends with kids who's parents ARE together.


                        • #13
                          This question is a matter of how old one is ... when I was growing up, divorce was very rare - a taboo subject to be discussed in hushed whispers as it was considered to be something shameful.

                          Nowadays it's no big deal and I've seen couples divorcing over what my parents would have though of as minor annoyances.

                          The question I ask myself is this: are today's couples more aware of their own feelings and their right to happiness or have we forgotten what true commitment really entails? Seems a lot of young couples have very unrealistic expectations when entering marriage and unfortunately end up disillusioned.

                          My parents went the distance - till death do us part (52 years) ... was not always easy for them - at times I sorta wished that they had divorced.


                          • #14
                            My father started developing a drinking problem when I was 14, and my brothers were 12 and 11. By the time I was heading off to another city for school, it was terrible. We all wanted my dad to leave and just let my mother move on. She refused to push it because she felt that it would be some giant trauma for us to have our dad gone, even though we were 19, 17, and 16 at the time. We couldn't, for the life of us, convince my mother that we would be fine.

                            Eventually, they split when I was 21. Honestly, I wished it had been sooner. The whole experience certainly made me question just how much I would want to put up with in my own relationships. Sure enough, after 7 years of marriage, I discovered that my ex-wife had been sleeping with an old high school boyfriend of hers for over a year. We made some attempts at reconciliation, but it was pretty clear that she was never going to be happy enough in our marriage to be trusted for another 30 years. So, we made the difficult decision to split.

                            Although both my parents divorce and my own featured my mother and I trying to figure out just how much we could put up with, I have to wonder if their divorce ever really affected me that much. I was almost a grown up when it happened, and I was a teenager when I saw it falling apart. It made me very concious of what was going on around me. My kids, in contrast, were 2 and 5 when it all went to hell, and they are now 5 and 8, and never found out about he reason. They never saw mom and dad fight. They were just old, civilly and quietly, that mommy and daddy didn't love each other any more, and that things were changing. Two weeks later, mommy quietly moved out. I can only hope that my own kids will ultimately benefit from the very different ways that my ex and I handled things, as opposed to how my own parents handled it.


                            • #15
                              My own parents have been married for over 40 some odd years and my Xs parents must be breaching into the 30 some odd years, so in that aspect- divorce does not breed divorce.

                              I would say that dysfunction breeds dysfunction though...
                              What I mean by that is the dysfunction that children are subject to when growing up, often mirrors itself in their relationships later on in their adulthood.
                              There is no 'fault' in this, we learn what we are exposed to, or from the ways in which we are conditioned to believe are appropriate behaviour and/or relationships; but not always will that inevitably lead to divorce- it will however usually lead to dysfunction.

                              When that happens, divorce becomes a means by where we are breaking the cycle. It's where we stand up and say, "I will not be treated this way." or "I will not allow my children to grow up like this." and that's not necessarily a bad thing- it can be a very good thing, and it can stop the passing of such dysfunction to our children, on to theirs, and so on...

                              In short- divorce is not a learned behaviour, it's those behaviours which lead to divorce which are learned IMO.

                              I don't think any of us woke up one day and decided that it was beautiful day for divorce; something lead to that decision, and it's that 'something' which has more often then not, been carried over in to our adult relationships by what we have been exposed to in our own family histories.

                              My 2c


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