Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

For those taking another kick at the cat

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #1
    Whoooaaa...I'm thinking you meant that post to be put on POF or eHarmony Oink

    Or does the Ottawa divorce website have a dating forum??...lol


    Just kidding Oink...

    Comment


    • #2
      Yes but I would only be interested in a well-educated man with a good sense of humor. Attributes would be - gourmand, low handicap golfer and of course someone who appreciates good single-malt.

      Kind of eliminates everyone on the forum slughead so no worries.

      Comment


      • #3
        Originally posted by arabian View Post
        Yes but I would only be interested in a well-educated man with a good sense of humor. Attributes would be - gourmand, low handicap golfer and of course someone who appreciates good single-malt.

        Kind of eliminates everyone on the forum slughead so no worries.
        The only thing that eliminates me is your specification of 'man'.

        Comment


        • #4
          I can't imagine EVER doing that again! I haven't even been on a date in 5 years! I'm afraid it might lead to a relationship, and I don't ever want to live in hell again. Ever. I'm so happy now, I don't want that to change. Ever. That, and I can't imagine being any happier than I am now, and have been for 5 wonderful years.

          Good luck to those of you crazy enough to give it another go! Oink - good list. I'd move the athletic condition (if, by that you mean healthy and in good shape) to the non-negotiable list, though.

          Comment


          • #5
            Originally posted by oink View Post
            So this begs the question....when it comes to the S word (hanky panky), does a mechanical device replace human then?
            oh my goodness, Oink. We've just met!

            And technically, all I said was, I haven't dated in 5 years. Lol!!

            Jk

            Comment


            • #6
              I gave it another go, and am glad I did. Time will tell, I suppose, as to whether this "second kick" proves to be a keeper (I'm trying to avoid some awkward soccer "goal" metaphor), but I learned that as godawful and miserable as my divorce was/is, it left me much stronger and clearer about what I wanted and/or would not tolerate in a relationship, and I think it made me able to recognize a really good man when he came along. A year ago I would have said there was no way in hell I would ever go near the whole man-woman romance thing again, but as time went on ...

              Comment


              • #7
                I believe the saying is "... another kick at the can" not "cat" is it not?

                Another thing for my list is "cat lover."

                Blink - you sound like an excellent person. My lawyer's fees has eaten up my golf & scotch fund for the past 4 yrs. Are you following the US Open? I have 3 days taped and just going to sit down and indulge for a while. No Balvinie but some cheap but decent cabernet will have to suffice.

                Comment


                • #8
                  It is indeed 'kick at the can' but I thought perhaps oink was making a very clever reference to 'pussy'. LOL.

                  I have been without sex for two years. Sad really, given how much I enjoy it but I am so not ready to be in a relationship. I actually don't think about what I would want as a future partner but rather, I think about how I can improve myself to ensure I can be the best person in my life (and therefore in a future relationship) I can be.

                  I do have things I would look for in a man but until I am ready and have ensured that I've really moved on, working on myself is the best focus for me.
                  Last edited by SadAndTired; 06-16-2013, 12:49 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #9
                    Originally posted by oink View Post
                    Wowser....blunt much? I see a new line of part-time work opening up here for me, no strings attached

                    I think you are not alone in the not knowing what you want in a partner. During random conversations with people going through the same thing, the females have said "they are not sure what they want"

                    I'll like to think it's just more than sex, and financial support
                    Blunt..... honest.... However you would like to characterize it. We are all adults here.

                    I actually said that I do know what I would like from a future partner and although a healthy sexual relationship is one, money doesn't matter. It is interesting to me because some posters have said that they would only be with a woman who is self supporting. It is the same for women, we want a man who can support himself. That doesn't necessarily equal "financial support".

                    I spent a lot of time reflecting on the signs that I needed to get out of the relationship that I didn't see. There are some definite ones that I could have recognized early on but I was young and "in love" and missed them. I hope to be more aware in any future relationship.
                    Last edited by SadAndTired; 06-16-2013, 08:58 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #10
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      Yes but I would only be interested in a well-educated man with a good sense of humor. Attributes would be - gourmand, low handicap golfer and of course someone who appreciates good single-malt.

                      Kind of eliminates everyone on the forum slughead so no worries.
                      glad to know that you know every male on the forum personally so you can judge them like that.

                      Comment


                      • #11
                        Originally posted by oink View Post
                        Money doesn't matter...really? Ok
                        Yes, really. I was married to a resident physician who had a previous professional career in another health field. His career was at the top of his priority list and money came second.

                        When our first child was born from an emergency (and difficult) c-section, she was sent to the NICU for breathing difficulties. My ex went back to work 3 hours after she was born and left her without a parent by her side as I was still sleeping in recovery from the surgery. In his mind he did the right thing as "people had appointments that morning!" He never even told one of them that his baby was born that morning at 5 am. He just went off to work at 8 am because that was his priority. Do you think that any of those people would have minded having their chiropractic appointment cancelled so he could be by his newborn who was in the NICU? She was only 3 hours old!


                        He left us there in the hospital to fend for ourselves. I should have left him as soon as we were discharged from the hospital.

                        I have other stories too.

                        I never, ever want to be in a relationship like that again. I will take a passionate, loyal, committed family man with his priorities in place who makes minimum wage over what I had any day. There are many more important things about a person than the size of their bank account and their T4 slip.
                        Last edited by SadAndTired; 06-16-2013, 01:39 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #12
                          SadAndTired: I bet it is extremely difficult being married to a physician (friend is). Everyone raves about how fantastic the doc is, few know the sacrifices the spouse makes to keep Dr. Wonderful operatin' at full capacity.

                          My ex hasn't called his son in 4 yrs to wish him happy birthday or Merry Christmas. Last week they did get together (and I'm pleased at that) but ex's g/f emailed beforehand to state that my son should be paying as it is ex's bday this week. I believe they split the bill so perhaps that will satisfy her.

                          Comment


                          • #13
                            SadAndTired's story reminds of the joke about the guy who dies and goes to heaven. He sees a bunch of angels hanging around and fluttering their wings and playing harps, and one fellow off in the corner wearing a white labcoat and a stethoscope and yelling at the angels for singing off-key. The newly dead fellow asks the nearest angel, "what's with the cranky dude? I thought this was heaven". The angel replies, 'Oh, that's just God. Sometimes he likes to dress up and pretend he's a doctor. We humor him because it makes him feel important".

                            Comment


                            • #14
                              Originally posted by arabian View Post
                              Yes but I would only be interested in a well-educated man with a good sense of humor. Attributes would be - gourmand, low handicap golfer and of course someone who appreciates good single-malt.

                              Kind of eliminates everyone on the forum slughead so no worries.
                              Well educated - to be honest somewhat subjective I went to university, and I might suggest some of my peers in engineering might not be considered to be well educated in everything.

                              Good sense of humour. Very very subjective. I know women who state they have one, but they hate Monty Python! Or don't get Seinfeld!

                              Gourmand - I think this is highly subjective. Its a spectrum not a yes/no checkbox. I certainly enjoy a wide range of foods and actively seek out new food experiences, as well as have a discerning pallate

                              Low Handicap Golfer.....well I am an enthusiastic but terrible golfer.

                              Good single malt, absolutely, but we may differ on what makes a good single malt. Personally I think Laphroag tastes like turpentine. Other people love it.

                              I think checkboxes are moderately usefull....

                              Comment


                              • #15
                                I've had a couple of failed relationships since separation, so I can provide some insight. And I would like to think I've learned a couple of things.

                                One, ignore people who makes decisions based on arbitary checklists so sorry oink.....

                                I wouldn't date a smoker. I sing, and my voice can be affected by being near someone who smokes. Plus the smell permeates the smokers hair and clothes.

                                I have some close friends who are vegetarian, and I respect them and their choices. But I couldn't live with one if they had issues with me eating meat in the same house.

                                I'd look less for someone that matches a set of check boxes and more for someone who is smart, funny, capable of being independant or working together as a partner. I'm willing to compromise, they should be too. Someone who shares a few common interests would be good. Clearly there has to be attraction on a number of levels.

                                My current relationship, is going slowly, and that is just fine. We are taking our time to be really sure. When there are kids involved, no need to rush.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X