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  • Am i with the right partner?

    AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

    During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

    The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

    Here's the answer.

    Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

    People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

    Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

    Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

    At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

    The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

    People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

    Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

    I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

    Because (listen carefully to this):

    The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

    SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

    Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

    Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

    Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

  • #2
    those are not my words... just fyi.

    But they are good words, in my estimation.

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    • #3
      Very interesting. Do you have a link, WO?

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      • #4
        I "LOVE" IT! Please provide a link. I want to keep that.

        Thx WO

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        • #5
          The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
          Completely disagree.

          That implies that any two people could come together and form a successful union with the right amount of personal investment and that's completely not true.

          You do need to find someone that's compatible in a number of key factors. There are many professional articles on the subject.

          I would agree that relationships require work and commitment but if you're walking through life with someone who views the world the same way that you do, that work is an investment that you make with the chance of it being a successful endeavour. If you're with the wrong person...you're going to invest a lot with very little payout...and miss an opportunity for a happier, more fulfilled life.

          Divorce was the smartest investment I ever made in my future. Staying and trying to work on my marriage would have been a complete waste of my time and energy. I wasted far too much time as it was.

          And I'm sure a lot of people would say the same without hestitation.

          "How do you know when you're with the right partner?"

          All I can say is that in my case, I know what I know.

          But I would agree with you in that staying with the person after you find them requires investment from both. Its soooo easy when you're with the right person though.

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          • #6
            I think timing helps a lot, too. Sometimes, the 'timing' is just sooooo OFF. But true, when it happens, it happens (rare as that might be).

            Happy for you, PH. You made it OUT!!

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            • #7
              Thank you Hadenough.

              I would also argue that there are people who are very ill-equipped emotionally to be in any romantic relationship.

              If you haven't met anyone like that yet...when you do, you'll know what I'm talking about.

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              • #8
                ^ affirmative! Add THAT to the issue of 'timing.'

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                  Very interesting. Do you have a link, WO?
                  Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                  I "LOVE" IT! Please provide a link. I want to keep that.

                  Thx WO
                  Copy & Pasted from a FB post. So no link available, sorry.

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                  • #10
                    Between two grown-ups that indeed could be true ,but some people are just not good together( putting it mildly).

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                    • #11
                      'You choose a partner because you love him/her. Later on.... you love him/her because you chose him/her....'
                      I wish it was that 'simple'!

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                      • #12
                        I agree completely with the sentiment. However, if your partner doesn't, there isn't much you can do on your own. Unlike every other team project, where you can still be successful even if one person doesn't pull their weight, a relationship won't work that way.

                        Comment

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