Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Just venting

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #1
    Really hard to read what you are trying to get at, but to make things easy, dress your child in what she came in when it is time to go back to mom's...

    I can understand how mom would feel if every time she sent clothes she never got them back. She could feel you think the clothes she provides are not good enough. Simple solution... Return the clothes.

    Comment


    • #2
      You do know it isn't the hospital's job to get involved and i think its ridiculous thst you'd go to them about this. Why wouldn't YOU just set the standards for communication by text by ONLY replying to the important texts and ignote the rest??

      Comment


      • #3
        Honestly - don't involve the hospital staff. And kudo's to them for trying to help the 2 of you get through all of your nonsense.

        Ignore the stupid sms messages, only reply to what is important. Since it bothers the ex that much, just send the original clothes/shoes that were sent back in a bag with your dd. Sometimes, the burden is on you to make things work a little more smoothly.

        eta: and no, the sms are not contradicting - you have a girl. I've seen some of the stuff my ex had her wear, and I would shudder! Yes, it's clean and it's practical but stripes with dots? Or orange with pink? lol... taste is a personal thing.
        Last edited by mcdreamy; 11-09-2012, 08:20 PM.
        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

        Comment


        • #4
          just do the easy thing like the other posters said and return the child in the same clothes. That is what a friend of mine did when the mother complained about the clothes. As soon as he got to her house, off with the clothes he was wearing and into the clothes they had for them. On the day he was going back to moms, same clothes went back on.

          Why make if more difficult then it has to be??? I also think getting the hospital involved with this whole communication thing is childish. I am sure that they have more important things to do like look after patients, not pay referee between adults acting like kids.

          Comment


          • #5
            Iceberg, I get that you are getting the short end of the stick. I'm appalled by how the ex is handling the parental time in conjunction with your daughter's illness.

            But really, you have bigger issues on your plate than arguing about whom has what clothes.. just send them back. Don't make this an issue, even if the ex wants to.
            Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

            Comment


            • #6
              Imagine how the child must feel...upset and ill as she is and having to be distressed by her parents' squabbling about "whose" clothes she wears!

              Get a grip and look at the real picture. Your daughter may not likely heal well with all this pointless aggravation between you two.

              Comment


              • #7
                Ignore what she accuses you of. She is obviously trying to start something, don're play the game by responding.

                Comment


                • #8
                  Originally posted by iceberg View Post
                  Who told u the kid knows what we type to each other?
                  No-one "told" me anything. Your child can sense the animosity between you and your ex and it could effect her in a negative way.

                  Comment


                  • #9
                    Originally posted by iceberg View Post
                    Who told u the kid knows what we type to each other?
                    you accuse the other parent about being high conflict but the way you worded that statement makes me feel like its the pot calling the kettle black on that.

                    Comment


                    • #10
                      Originally posted by iceberg View Post
                      Me: What is the difference if she wears wut u or i bought as long as she is properly dressed
                      Right there - can you guess whether this would lead to escalation or resolution?

                      The benefit of email/sms is that you can take some time to think before responding. Instead of flashing back some kneejerk response that will only encourage an escalation.

                      Next time, think before responding.

                      Comment


                      • #11
                        Originally posted by iceberg View Post
                        Who told u the kid knows what we type to each other?
                        I just asked our kiddo, 17, turning 18. She confirms each and every time there was hostility between the households, she was very aware. Your kid knows, she doesn't need telling.
                        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                        Comment


                        • #12
                          I think you are the one that needs to re-read your post. You are just as much, if not more to blame for all this crap

                          Comment


                          • #13
                            Buddy, you're missing the point:

                            It isn't about the clothes, who bought them or who has them. It IS about the conflict you are engaging in and allowing her to engage you in over ridiculous inconsequential things.

                            Your kid has CANCER and you two are arguing about what clothes she's wearing.

                            Can you see how ridiculous this is? Why do you need to have someone to blame over the damn clothes?

                            Simply respond to ONLY the texts that require a response re: your child's medical care or any other important matters.

                            STOP responding to any texts that are clearly intended to create conflict. Like who paid for the clothes the kid is wearing today.

                            Comment


                            • #14
                              You are responsible for your own behavior. You cannot change her. You know she is high conflict, you know she likes to cause fights and you willingly engage in that conflict! It takes two to tango and it take two to fight... She can't fight with herself. Stop responding to nonsense. If you must respond, do so in a polite manner. A simple 'I am sorry I will make sure those clothes get returned to you.' Is a far better response than 'does it matter?'.

                              You are just as much to blame for responding as she is for creating. I am sure your child would much rather you two spend more energy helping her than engaging each other.

                              Comment


                              • #15
                                Iceberg: hang in there man. She's obviously baiting you.

                                My mother used to tell me that the best way to deal with miserable people is to be extra, extra nice to them; they won't know how to react. I've taken this advice and it works like a charm. When people go out of their way to be really belligerent to me I turn on the charm. Totally fucks em up!

                                Next time be sure your daughter has face paint on (a kitty cat or something cute like that)!

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X