Motion for Change of CS only???

[Magpie]

My ExH got fired from his teaching job last week -- well, asked to resign in the face of being fired.

He wants to change his CS amount in the judgment.

I am fine with this and am choosing not to fight him. I am asking him, while he is at it, to attend to all other issues that are impacted (written into the judgment) as a result of his job less -- like medical benefits, March Break timing, PD days for his board... etc. (there are many). In addition, i have suggested that we fix some of the wording errors that were translated incorrectly from French to English.

EXH says that all he is going to do is motion for his CS amount to be adjusted accordingly but that he will not attend to anything else in the judgment.

Do i get to agree on this at some point? Or does a court simply just sign off the motion for change without any input from me?

He says he will input his salary at minimum wage (9.65/hour) for 40 hours a week (approx. 20K/year) but nothing more, despite the fact that he is currently making $20.00/hour in one job and $240/day in another job. He promotes himself as a consultant for a company on LinkedIn but then tells me he makes nothing.

What is the proceedure for a financial disclosure?

[Magpie]

contradicted myself

I realize that i said i wasn't going to fight him... and i don't think I will -- i am aware that he is working to give me as little money as possible because he wants to harm me rather than imagining that he might want to give as much as possible to his child.

i have nothing left in me to fight. So that is where that comment came from.

I am however, still curious about the process for financial disclosures and will do a search here for information.

Most important in that post from me, is wondering what the process for a motion to change is.

Can he simply get a motion for change without my being involved?

[HammerDad]

He can file a motion for whatever he wants. You cannot force him to motion for more. If you want things changed, you should file a motion yourself to remedy your concerns.

[LostFather]

I realize that i said i wasn't going to fight him... and i don't think I will -- i am aware that he is working to give me as little money as possible because he wants to harm me rather than imagining that he might want to give as much as possible to his child.

i have nothing left in me to fight. So that is where that comment came from.

I am however, still curious about the process for financial disclosures and will do a search here for information.

Most important in that post from me, is wondering what the process for a motion to change is.

Can he simply get a motion for change without my being involved?

Whats the access situation? Sorry if you've said it already and i missed it. What is your employment status?

[Magpie]

I am a full time doctoral student, one child, age 8. Full custody awarded to me after 3 day family court hearing. He was a high school teacher, slept with his students, has been charged criminally for luring minors and possessing child porn but not convicted yet.

He just resigned in the face of being fired. Salary drop from 97K to minimum wage of 20K. He claims he only works two days a week now.

I am wondering about asking a judge to impute his salary to reflect some work for qualified teachers (like on line teaching for example) as he did not lose his College of Teachers certification. I don't think it is fair for him to say that he is unable to get work. I think he is choosing to be underemployed in some ways.

[Magpie]

I don't think my question has been answered...

what i am asking is whether, when he motions for a change in the judgment, will that change be presented to me or will the judge just rubber stamp it? will i be there? when would i ask for the salary to be imputed?

My ex is a nightmare communicator and getting a financial disclosure from him every year will be hell.

mp

[Mess]

You can certainly try to imput a wage to him, but it isn't a slam dunk. If you can do a search and show that there are jobs available for online teachers and attach factual proof to your affidavit then this helps a lot.

Just saying he should be able to find a job isn't enough.

I took some online con ed courses before returning to school full-time, and in my experience online teachers are part-time and don't earn a lot for the hours they have to put in. I think you would have a hard time showing that he could earn a full-time wage through this, or that there is a lot of opportunity.

I certainly think he could supplement his income by handling an on-line course but could he get enough courses to equal a full-time teaching position?

[Magpie]

Truth is, there are lots of jobs for qualified teachers that don't involve direct contact with students. I like your idea of attaching job postings.

I would be happy with a 50K salary -- the 20K just seems absurd -- down from 97K (plus summer work, renting of his house, piano teaching, tutoring). He is the highest qualified specialist in his field. He can find work of some sort and private schools will hire without a CPIK (maybe less than they used to). Piano teachers make $40.00/hour and tutors, $25. I don't need him to be back up at 97K with medical benefits and a pension but I do want a middle ground.

[LostFather]

Truth is, there are lots of jobs for qualified teachers that don't involve direct contact with students. I like your idea of attaching job postings.

I would be happy with a 50K salary -- the 20K just seems absurd -- down from 97K (plus summer work, renting of his house, piano teaching, tutoring). He is the highest qualified specialist in his field. He can find work of some sort and private schools will hire without a CPIK (maybe less than they used to). Piano teachers make $40.00/hour and tutors, $25. I don't need him to be back up at 97K with medical benefits and a pension but I do want a middle ground.

Is he active in seeing the child? I mean how far really do u want to go with this? What will the gain really be? How much time, resource and stress? This guy has big problems. You'll go through it all...for what? cs based on whether he has a 20k or 50?...so cs on 30k...what is that?...how much will you spend to get it? at the end of the day..he gets convicted do u really think he's gonna get job at 50k? How much will u collect if he is in prison?

Move on...give you child a hug and kiss and let them know you love them. There are entitlements but sometimes you have to pick your battles. With his problems...this is not a battle you want to be anywhere near in my opinion.

[Magpie]

Right.. i should take my happiness and run for the hills. I am out of there. Perhaps the position I should take is "I am going to get nothing" and anything after that is good news. His position is the least amount of money he can give me [sic] the better because then it is a knife he propels into my back.. he doesn't fall on his knees in this situation and cry for the loss of his ability to provide something for his child... he jumps for joy that he doesn't have to give me money -- despite the fact that it is her that "gets" the money, not me...

so i will warrior on here, take my delight, my little cherub, and eat some bad Halloween candy. I don't want this hassle. I don't.

This is a man who came back to our home 3 months after leaving it for his 18 year old high school student and filled two grocery bags with fridge condiments because he didn't realize how much food cost when he left. I can't expect him to happily disclose his income each year that he cobbled together as a result of his job loss due to a preference for teenagers.

right... back to picking battles... home haircuts, homemade Christmas presents, and a good dose of just having fun with things that don't cost money. Thank you for the continued wake up call on not getting sucked into the vortex of egos and fighting.

i will walk away from this.

i always appreciate the cold water, ice water, to be exact.

[LostFather]

Right.. i should take my happiness and run for the hills. I am out of there. Perhaps the position I should take is "I am going to get nothing" and anything after that is good news. His position is the least amount of money he can give me [sic] the better because then it is a knife he propels into my back.. he doesn't fall on his knees in this situation and cry for the loss of his ability to provide something for his child... he jumps for joy that he doesn't have to give me money -- despite the fact that it is her that "gets" the money, not me...

so i will warrior on here, take my delight, my little cherub, and eat some bad Halloween candy. I don't want this hassle. I don't.

This is a man who came back to our home 3 months after leaving it for his 18 year old high school student and filled two grocery bags with fridge condiments because he didn't realize how much food cost when he left. I can't expect him to happily disclose his income each year that he cobbled together as a result of his job loss due to a preference for teenagers.

right... back to picking battles... home haircuts, homemade Christmas presents, and a good dose of just having fun with things that don't cost money. Thank you for the continued wake up call on not getting sucked into the vortex of egos and fighting.

i will walk away from this.

i always appreciate the cold water, ice water, to be exact.

I am not telling you not to fight for whats right only to acess what it will be all worth at the end of the day. Will you be okay? Will your child be okay? from what you've said I believe you're a mom that loves your child, you and your child will be ok. You are educated and though financially you maybe struggling now, my guess is things will work out for you and your child in the end. If he is an idiot, among other things that will be for him to come to terms with....no court will force him to be a better person or father. He is the loser. The thinking is maybe his child loses as well. The bigger picture tells me though that in this case...you too for that matter, would be and will be better off to let matter go.

Only you know the answers...no matter what I or anyone else in here says or gives you for advice.

I wish you and your child well. Good luck.

[littleman]

Im not sure what you are looking for Magpie. You continually talk about your ex and his legal issues which I must say he hasnt been convicted of, so in essence you are slandering him. You ask a question then you cloud it with your personal judgement of his choices in life. Your focus should be on your child and getting your doctorate and forget about his legal troubles. If he went from 97k to 20k in a year it happens. It happened to me so dont throw stones. Chalk all this up to shit happens and move on. Your focus needs to be for your child. When you become child focused trust me no amount of money in the world matters, yes you will learn quickly how to do EVERYTHING on the cheap and you know what your child learns life lessons in mean time also.
Let him and his trivial stuff go and focus on you, your child and your future, the rest will fall into place.

[Magpie]

Hmmm. Trust that i am well aware that shit happens littleman

I am not sure that speaking about facts, is slander. If the CBC and the city newspaper hadn't told us all about this and others sent me the links, i wouldn't not have known for a while. I am not spreading bad stories or trashing the father -- i am laying out the facts -- slander is making up lies and spreading them around to diminish another person. He hasn't been convicted but we all know the charges and we know why he resigned from his teaching job -- his words: "in the face of being fired i have resigned".

So what are you really angry about?

My question is really about the procedure of a motion for change of the agreement.

He makes a motion then what? do i hear about it? do i participate in it? do i ask for other things that need attention? I just want to know how it works. That is all I am asking -- given that he no longer has a job, there are many items in our agreement that require changes and i am asking that we do it all at the same time.

My preference is to communicate like adults, be reasonable, make the changes, each take some water in our wine, and call it a day -- for everyone involved.

Your hostile bias is showing up Littleman -- i am not the bitter angry cow slandering the ex. I am curious about the procedure for a change in an agreement and learning a few things that i didn't know.

I use this forum, for the most part) to get answers to legal questions and understand my rights. My preference would be to sit in a room with my ex and our mothers and all of us hold babies and drink tea and talk restoratively abotu what to do given our real, factual, circumstances -- with compassion, forgiveness, and understanding. This isn't available to me so i have to lean on the law.... sad but true -- it speaks and works for some people -- trust that it was not me who asked to go to family court but it was me who passed out the book "tug of War" to all his family and pals asking them to help understand the longterm consequences and futility of asking someone else to make decisions for us as a family and for our child... 5 minutes before court -- BOTH our lawyers asked him to let them arbitrate... he said no. yuck..

What needs discussion is how just/unjust it is for a person to be RECRUITED into a court room against her deepest wishes for herself, her family, her community and for the world...

but let's leave that one for now.

[Exquizique]

My question is really about the procedure of a motion for change of the agreement.

He makes a motion then what? do i hear about it? do i participate in it? do i ask for other things that need attention? I just want to know how it works.

You will find the answers to your question(s) on this page, especially the link to Part 8 on Motions (assuming he files in Ontario as that's where the child is residing):

A Guide to Procedures in Family Court - Ministry of the Attorney General

Not sure of the process if he files in Quebec. I have a feeling it should be pretty similar, and the Quebec court(s) should have a similar link with such information available ... just do some googling.

[littleman]

hostile bias on what bases?
I think if you left himand his legal matters off here it would be best - anyone can get on here and if your case lands in court after he gets a hold of statements you have said you can be in world of legal trouble. While everything is up in air you have to bite your tongue you have no choice because you can looked at as being part of the problem. Things said on forums can and have bit people in the ass before.

As for CS it is based on last years income not current income. What he stated on his return in April is what this years is based on. I understand he wquit but he still has financial obligation to child. If he is not paying and has no income what happens is the ordered amount piles up and he will end up in contempt of court and behind bars ~ keep other stuff out here this is not the place for it, whole other can of worms.

Focus on you & the children and not his trivial BS and you will do fine.
I understand your frustration more than you think. If he decided to say no to arbitration you do realize he shot himself in the foot? That was his golden ticket. Now everything in his life is open book and everyone attending court will know. Also your life is open book, so if you have skeletons bury them if not great and dont create any.

Just careful what you say/type cause that stuff can & will bite you in the ass. Seen it happen. When it is all over with and you have custody then please do come on here and slam him and tell us exactly what e was convicted of (not suspected of) and we will support you but I would hate to see anything that has been said about him on here work to his favour. Just advice take it or leave it.