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  • Sh&^*&% hits the fan

    OKAY,

    The short version of the long story is this:

    My ex lost custody of our child in family court two years ago. Since then, he has been charged with possession of child pornography and is pending trial on this and an assault on me last year. (PS. the CAS deemed that he was "safe with our 6 year old because he has a preference for teenagers NOT children! so our daughter sees him every other w/e).

    He was a teacher and just found out that he (after two years suspension b/c of the child porn charges and that he lives with one of his x-students and was caught with photos of another underage student on his computer) has been fired -- i mean he has "chosen to resign" from his high school teaching job.

    He wrote me this morning to say that he has resigned and that is 95K salary for the year ($797 CS payment/month) will now drop to $1400.00/month as he is working as a carpenter and this will be $152 CS/month and he has no more medical benefits and am i OK with his dropping his CS.

    We have a court order/judgment.

    I am assuming that until there is an ammendment to the judgment that he will still have to pay the amount written in the judgment. ??? Can you help with this question. And that it is his responsibility to get a lawyer and apply for this ammendment

    gulp again.

    I am a full time student and a solo parent -- this could get dicey.

  • #2
    Parents should raise their children according to their income. The CS tables determine what the amount should be. He was making 97K and now is not. His CS should be based on what he is actually making, not what he was making.

    Are you saying that you hope to force him to pay CS according to his previous income and not his current income? Why do you consider this to be reasonable?

    He should be working full time though and it is hard to imagine that 1400/month is full time.

    So forget his old pay, figure out his new pay. The recommended way is to simply adjust CS yearly based on tax returns July 1.

    Comment


    • #3
      He will probably have to pay the old amount until an amendment is filed or you agree.

      However, should he bring this to court, it is probably a slam dunk for him. There is no way he would have been able to keep his old job and his old income. It is pretty much expected that he would have to find a new job in a new field (schools aren't known for hiring teachers who have been convicted of possessing child porn). If you fight a reduction, you may have to pay costs.

      He will not be able to make the same income as before. You know this. He won't be able to teach again. You know this. He will have to start from the bottom and work his way back up to a higher income.....

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks folks

        Billm, the expectation is not that he would pay at his former 97K income table amount. THe question is how long do i have to adjust my life for this? Is he responsible for the legal process of having the court order changed? at his expense? He has been sitting at home (literally) for two years making 97K and i am a full time student making 11.5 K and his choices in life to be violent and predate teenagers (at the age of 48) is not my responsibility but i assure you with the law, CAS, police etc. I have spent over 48K in legal bills since he was arrested for all of these things.

        I feel frustrated by this lack of power to STOP the legal bills. His circumstances have changed and i don't want to have to get a lawyer and pay $350.00/hour to get these things done because of choices he made in his life...

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Magpie View Post
          i don't want to have to get a lawyer and pay $350.00/hour to get these things done because of choices he made in his life...
          Then agree to the reduction. Simplest remedy available.

          He won't be making the same income. He can't. C/S will be based upon his income going forward. You cannot expect him to earn the same income that he would as a teacher because he will no longer be able to teach.

          Comment


          • #6
            [quote=Magpie;77744]Thanks folks
            THe question is how long do i have to adjust my life for this? Is he responsible for the legal process of having the court order changed? at his expense?

            Even though his poor choices led to this and it is no fault of yours take into account that he has had no time to adjust to this income change either. What if he had had no legal issues but lost his job. Would you want time to adjust to the new dollar amount? Would he have time to adjust to it?

            My husband received a one time bonus of $50,000 last year. We have to pay support this year based on his salary plus that bonus. That raised his support to $2,300 (up $800/month). The way it was explained to us is that everyone benefits from the good times and suffers through the bad times.

            It is an unfortunate situation and I'm sorry that you have to deal with it.

            Comment


            • #7
              THe reality is, i think, with all due respect, that when a teacher sleeps with a student, gets caught, goes to jail, and is suspended for teaching and pending trial, sitting at home for 2 years... there is a pretty good chance that he is (hopefully) expecting to be fired. I don't think the information was sudden for him.

              He does not disclose anything to me about anything. I had to find out that he was arrested for possession of child pornography and in jail by reading the front of the newspaper and hearing it on CBC radio every hour on the hour.

              The surprise is mine. He has known for a long time that he was headed in this direction. He told the world that he was "on leave" because his ex wife "put on stress leave". He was suspended from work for sexual misconduct which had nothing at all to do with me.

              An 800 dollar a month drop on an 11.5 K /year salary is going to hurt a lot. I just really don't want to have to incur any more legal bills as a result and have gotten good advice from HammerDad on this as well as you folks... and as always,

              I am grateful.

              Magpie

              Comment


              • #8
                Did it ever occur to you that you might need to find a better paying job? Even working at McDonalds pays more then what you are earning right now. That way, would not depend on your ex and his salary.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi there Toutou
                  After working Fulltime for 20 years paying for every cent of my existence since i was 13 (including 92K in universtiy degrees), I am now a full time PhD student on an Ontario Graduate Scholarship. Pretty happy with my lifetime dream coming true. I should be able to pull that salary up to about, well, twice that much as a prof someday (LOL) and the most important part of it all, me thinks, is my happiness and how that transmits to my child and my community. n'est pas?

                  PS. i don't really like McDonalds.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Wouldn't you be eligible for legal aid? Most people cannot afford lawyers but few fall into the catagory of being eligible for legal aid. I think you would be able to get it and save legal costs.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      At your income you do qualify for legal aid. If you receive scholarship on top of the income, this might not show up on line 150 but legal aid might take it into account.

                      Child support issues definately fall into the catagory that legal aid will cover.

                      Regarding adjusting your life, if he died suddenly without insurance, what would you do? If you were still married and he lost his job, what would you do? You can't expect to be insulated from every unforseen event.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Magpie View Post
                        OKAY,

                        (PS. the CAS deemed that he was "safe with our 6 year old because he has a preference for teenagers NOT children! so our daughter sees him every other w/e).
                        I realize this is off topic but out of curiousity, are they intending to revoke access as she gets closer to his 'preferred age'?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I own my home and i have a property with a little cabin in the woods (cottage???). I think that means i can't get legal aid?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            1) The new salary he gave (16.8K) is below full-time minimum wage (20K). That would be a minimum salary amount for an able-bodied person to pay CS on.

                            2) He still has teacher credentials/training ... possibly he has skills for teaching adults? I don't know about that job market. But that is possibly this is an avenue for imputing at above minimum wage.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Mess View Post
                              Regarding adjusting your life, if he died suddenly without insurance, what would you do? If you were still married and he lost his job, what would you do? You can't expect to be insulated from every unforseen event.
                              It's a great point and thank you for keeping the drama out of reality. My reality, for the record, as sad as all of this "broken dream" has been, i am happy and have learned what forgiveness means. I am also happy to be living in a life without lies and pain and abuse.

                              SH** happens and i like to think of it as a teacher not a problem.

                              so, onward...
                              and in response to the what will CAS do when my daughter is a teenager? likely nothing. I hope to raise a daughter who can be strong enough to speak up and out if and when she is in an abusive situation. That is my best immunity since i don't trust the system to help me with this one.

                              Comment

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