Tweet
Ok, I am officially financially screwed. Motion-of-Change gone wrong.
Well, it is official... I am screwed. Here is my situation:
We seperated in Sept 2009 and even though she has always made more money then me I agreed to pay her 50% of all extraordinary expenses. I also wanted a better job at the time so I based my income off a higher salary that I wanted and paid her a higher table amount. I felt bad for leaving and wanted to make sure she was taken care of. I ended up leaving the relationship with the clothes on my back which I think is, more often then not, common.
After many failed attempts to get a seperation agreement drafted up with her I ended up filing my affidavit for divorce in Dec 2010 and proceeding through the courts to try to help get things speeded up.
She has somehow always been able to afford to get a lawyer where I have always been self litigating which might explain how I have a $10k personal loan on a van we owned, a $10k VISA balance from our marriage and other debts which were accumilated while we were married.
I work in the automotive industry as a general labourer making $13/hour and when doing up my financial statement I put down my full income plus 4 hours overtime as I ALWAYS had atleast that and didn't want a huge varience at the end of the year. I want my kids provided for as much as I can.
The japan disaster hit just prior to our court apperance on April 5, 2010 before the judge and I lost all overtime but I could still manage so I didn't say anything. The courts were pretty good to me and we rectified things based on the table amount and extraordinary expenses.
April 12, 2010 it was announced that we were going down to 4 days a week with further possible cuts coming so I contacted my ex-wife and explained to her that I was going to do whatever I could to keep up with payments but it was going to be hard. My girlfriend got hit harder with her shifts being cut down to 2 days to 3 days a week so I was partially supporting her too.
April 17, 2010 my terminally-ill father, for whole I am a primary care-giver for, attempted to commit suicide. Out of anger for not noticing the warning signs I ended up punching the wall and broke two bones on my right wrist which is my dominant hand. While at the hospital with my dad I had x-rays done and it was inconclusive but told it was common for scaphoid injuries which they suspected it was in my case and I was told to come back in two weeks. I went to work the next day and work refused to find me anything working with only my left hand since it put me at further risk to injury working with a non-dominant hand also put me at chemical exposure since I cant wear a glove on my casted hand. I emailed my ex-wife to let her know about my dad and to let her know that work had told me I wouldn't be able to work.
I filed for the "compassionate care program" through HRC so that I would atleast attempt to get paid something while I was off and at the same time I would be able to take care of my father.
On May 6, 2011, I had my x-rays and follow-up bonescan to find out it was a scaphoid and MCP #2 frature with 6-8 weeks of casting including my thumb. I sent through a follow-up fax to my work updating them that I would be staying on compassionate care until the end of the program. I sent an email to my ex-wife telling her that I am struggling wth nothing coming from EI yet and my tax return running out. That my girlfriend isn't making enough money to make her bills let alone help me out and that I may be forced to go through the courts to solve things but I would try not to if possible.
On May 9, 2011 my father fell and broke his hip which resulted in being hospitalized. On May 13, 2011 he passed away. My compassionate care benefits were therefore cancelled as of the end of that week which resulted in one week of pay in total after the waiting period was over.
I called my work and told that I was no-longer on compassionate care and they requested a follow-up doctors note which I received and read "No use of right hand for 8-10 weeks". My work had just announced lay-off's because of the Japan situation and as expected, they found me left handed work doing a crap job. On May 27, 2011 I was given a weeks notice that my last day was going to be June 3, 2011.
I researched a reduction of child support and decided since my ex-wife has been kept in the loop then I would try concensual reduction. I drafted up a letter highlighting what has happened since the April 5, 2011 court order and attached all the information in regards to income, compassionate care program and anything else to support my claim. I gave it to her lawyer as I knew it was going there anyways. A week later I get a letter that basically tells me to "go fly a kite" and if my income is still low at the end of the year then perhaps they can look at a chance but nothing right now. I called them both verbally and only got voicemail but pleaded for them to do something as I had nothing to pay in the way of the higher child support.
June 10, 2011 I filed a Motion of Change (14 & 14A) requesting leave of the court in regards to a request for reduction of child support based on extraordinary circumstances and requesting the child support table amounts and no change to extraordinary expenses. I also filed my financial statement based on what my projected 2011 income would be and NOT what I was currently bringing in which means it was actually higher then it should of been. Again, trying to take care of my ex-wife for some stupid reason.
On June 29, 2011, the day of me leaving to go to crown land backpacking for 5 days, I got served with an affidavit and a 14(b) motion form. The affidavit was 32 paragraphs long and was full of misleading information and completely false statements. Things like my reducing child support payments against the court order, taking this to court without trying other methods, not being aware of my medical condition, wanting proof of my job searching for the past 4 months even though I was laid off for less then 1, stating that reducing down some of my expenses were going to magically fix my financial state and so on.
On July 11, 2011 I went to see free advice council and they told me that I had to send in an affidavit supporting my original motion of change and addressing all false and misleading accusations. It would also have to include all documentation to back up all claims that I was making. Fair enough, I did that and went to the court house on July 26, 2011 with my lengthly affidavit and updated financial statement to have it sworn. I then called my ex-wife to find out when she would be home which resulted in only being able to get my girlfriend to serve it to her on August 2, 2011 which we did.
Yesterday we went to the courthouse to file the affidavit of service and WHAM! We find out that we only had 4 days to file a response to the 14(b) motion and the judge has decided based solely on her affidavit of LIES which she served to me when she knew I was going to be going on vacation and knowing I wouldn't know anyting about the 4 days. The free advice council should have been able to tell me this!
The draft of the court order puts my motion of change on hold pending a few things. They want a doctors report detailing the injury, restrictions and why I can't work. They want detailed proof of payment for all money from April 5, 2011 till June 3, 2011. They are also requesting that I pay my ex-wife's lawyer bill of $580 for her to file the 14(b) motion which if I can't pay child support then how can I pay that??? I can't afford my own lawyer let alone one to fight against me! So everything I did since July has been for nothing but will save me time drafting up what I need to do now which I am not sure.
My financials are REALLY bad. Not because of debt but mainly because I have ADD, bi-polar and depression and medication alone costs me $450 per month which I don't have benefits for. When you factor that with the $715 per month in support I am paying over $13,000 right there. As of right now I am receiving $300 per week from HRC for employment insurance. I have no assets AT ALL.
Because my dad passed away we were forced to sell the house which the proceeds goes to my mum and we were forced to move into a new place which resulted in first/last being paid and increased living expenses.
At this time I am seriously thinking that I would have been better off miserable and self-hating myself still being married to my ex-wife and also being able to see my kids every day. I am also considering leaving my current amazing soulmate girlfriend because I can't keep shattering her dreams of a future and holding her back. This whole thing is killing me inside and I am not able to live like this.
I am not sure how to even respond to the newest court order draft.
We seperated in Sept 2009 and even though she has always made more money then me I agreed to pay her 50% of all extraordinary expenses. I also wanted a better job at the time so I based my income off a higher salary that I wanted and paid her a higher table amount. I felt bad for leaving and wanted to make sure she was taken care of. I ended up leaving the relationship with the clothes on my back which I think is, more often then not, common.
After many failed attempts to get a seperation agreement drafted up with her I ended up filing my affidavit for divorce in Dec 2010 and proceeding through the courts to try to help get things speeded up.
She has somehow always been able to afford to get a lawyer where I have always been self litigating which might explain how I have a $10k personal loan on a van we owned, a $10k VISA balance from our marriage and other debts which were accumilated while we were married.
I work in the automotive industry as a general labourer making $13/hour and when doing up my financial statement I put down my full income plus 4 hours overtime as I ALWAYS had atleast that and didn't want a huge varience at the end of the year. I want my kids provided for as much as I can.
The japan disaster hit just prior to our court apperance on April 5, 2010 before the judge and I lost all overtime but I could still manage so I didn't say anything. The courts were pretty good to me and we rectified things based on the table amount and extraordinary expenses.
April 12, 2010 it was announced that we were going down to 4 days a week with further possible cuts coming so I contacted my ex-wife and explained to her that I was going to do whatever I could to keep up with payments but it was going to be hard. My girlfriend got hit harder with her shifts being cut down to 2 days to 3 days a week so I was partially supporting her too.
April 17, 2010 my terminally-ill father, for whole I am a primary care-giver for, attempted to commit suicide. Out of anger for not noticing the warning signs I ended up punching the wall and broke two bones on my right wrist which is my dominant hand. While at the hospital with my dad I had x-rays done and it was inconclusive but told it was common for scaphoid injuries which they suspected it was in my case and I was told to come back in two weeks. I went to work the next day and work refused to find me anything working with only my left hand since it put me at further risk to injury working with a non-dominant hand also put me at chemical exposure since I cant wear a glove on my casted hand. I emailed my ex-wife to let her know about my dad and to let her know that work had told me I wouldn't be able to work.
I filed for the "compassionate care program" through HRC so that I would atleast attempt to get paid something while I was off and at the same time I would be able to take care of my father.
On May 6, 2011, I had my x-rays and follow-up bonescan to find out it was a scaphoid and MCP #2 frature with 6-8 weeks of casting including my thumb. I sent through a follow-up fax to my work updating them that I would be staying on compassionate care until the end of the program. I sent an email to my ex-wife telling her that I am struggling wth nothing coming from EI yet and my tax return running out. That my girlfriend isn't making enough money to make her bills let alone help me out and that I may be forced to go through the courts to solve things but I would try not to if possible.
On May 9, 2011 my father fell and broke his hip which resulted in being hospitalized. On May 13, 2011 he passed away. My compassionate care benefits were therefore cancelled as of the end of that week which resulted in one week of pay in total after the waiting period was over.
I called my work and told that I was no-longer on compassionate care and they requested a follow-up doctors note which I received and read "No use of right hand for 8-10 weeks". My work had just announced lay-off's because of the Japan situation and as expected, they found me left handed work doing a crap job. On May 27, 2011 I was given a weeks notice that my last day was going to be June 3, 2011.
I researched a reduction of child support and decided since my ex-wife has been kept in the loop then I would try concensual reduction. I drafted up a letter highlighting what has happened since the April 5, 2011 court order and attached all the information in regards to income, compassionate care program and anything else to support my claim. I gave it to her lawyer as I knew it was going there anyways. A week later I get a letter that basically tells me to "go fly a kite" and if my income is still low at the end of the year then perhaps they can look at a chance but nothing right now. I called them both verbally and only got voicemail but pleaded for them to do something as I had nothing to pay in the way of the higher child support.
June 10, 2011 I filed a Motion of Change (14 & 14A) requesting leave of the court in regards to a request for reduction of child support based on extraordinary circumstances and requesting the child support table amounts and no change to extraordinary expenses. I also filed my financial statement based on what my projected 2011 income would be and NOT what I was currently bringing in which means it was actually higher then it should of been. Again, trying to take care of my ex-wife for some stupid reason.
On June 29, 2011, the day of me leaving to go to crown land backpacking for 5 days, I got served with an affidavit and a 14(b) motion form. The affidavit was 32 paragraphs long and was full of misleading information and completely false statements. Things like my reducing child support payments against the court order, taking this to court without trying other methods, not being aware of my medical condition, wanting proof of my job searching for the past 4 months even though I was laid off for less then 1, stating that reducing down some of my expenses were going to magically fix my financial state and so on.
On July 11, 2011 I went to see free advice council and they told me that I had to send in an affidavit supporting my original motion of change and addressing all false and misleading accusations. It would also have to include all documentation to back up all claims that I was making. Fair enough, I did that and went to the court house on July 26, 2011 with my lengthly affidavit and updated financial statement to have it sworn. I then called my ex-wife to find out when she would be home which resulted in only being able to get my girlfriend to serve it to her on August 2, 2011 which we did.
Yesterday we went to the courthouse to file the affidavit of service and WHAM! We find out that we only had 4 days to file a response to the 14(b) motion and the judge has decided based solely on her affidavit of LIES which she served to me when she knew I was going to be going on vacation and knowing I wouldn't know anyting about the 4 days. The free advice council should have been able to tell me this!
The draft of the court order puts my motion of change on hold pending a few things. They want a doctors report detailing the injury, restrictions and why I can't work. They want detailed proof of payment for all money from April 5, 2011 till June 3, 2011. They are also requesting that I pay my ex-wife's lawyer bill of $580 for her to file the 14(b) motion which if I can't pay child support then how can I pay that??? I can't afford my own lawyer let alone one to fight against me! So everything I did since July has been for nothing but will save me time drafting up what I need to do now which I am not sure.
My financials are REALLY bad. Not because of debt but mainly because I have ADD, bi-polar and depression and medication alone costs me $450 per month which I don't have benefits for. When you factor that with the $715 per month in support I am paying over $13,000 right there. As of right now I am receiving $300 per week from HRC for employment insurance. I have no assets AT ALL.
Because my dad passed away we were forced to sell the house which the proceeds goes to my mum and we were forced to move into a new place which resulted in first/last being paid and increased living expenses.
At this time I am seriously thinking that I would have been better off miserable and self-hating myself still being married to my ex-wife and also being able to see my kids every day. I am also considering leaving my current amazing soulmate girlfriend because I can't keep shattering her dreams of a future and holding her back. This whole thing is killing me inside and I am not able to live like this.
I am not sure how to even respond to the newest court order draft.
Comment