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Support order question??

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  • dadtotheend
    replied
    So did you stop buying gifts and giving best wishes at special occasions?

    Taking the high road may have been the play there. And it might have taught your daughter a thing or two that would have built some character. Just sayin...

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  • tbevel
    replied
    Originally posted by Mess View Post
    You should want the best for your child at any age. These days you're going nowhere fast without post secondary ed of some kind. It's fine that you want her to stick with it and you want transcripts, that's fair. But what do you gain by fighting it in the first place?
    My reason for fighting it was based on said mom & 23 year old daughter telling me I was no longer "Dad" after the marriage ended, to stay out of their lives and to not even buy gifts at Christmas or birthdays and then coming back simply for money TWO years later.

    As noted, said judge was not interested in any of that, only the post sec ed...fair enough, but if she drops out again, I will have her back in front of the judge immediately...I'm not paying for the beer and cigarettes if she's not attending school.

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  • dadtotheend
    replied
    Yep, the court will err on the side of the kid's best interest.

    If you and your ex were still together you may welll have decided to stop funding her party. But your not together and if the judge gets the ruling wrong, then it won't be by denying the child another chance at an education.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mess
    replied
    You should want the best for your child at any age. These days you're going nowhere fast without post secondary ed of some kind. It's fine that you want her to stick with it and you want transcripts, that's fair. But what do you gain by fighting it in the first place?

    The judge's position in a situation like this where the parents can't agree is to go with what is best for the child. Sure there are arguments in favour of your parenting style here, just like there are arguments in favour of mum's. The judge can't be bothered and said to pay for post sec and get out of my courtroom. Judge may have said it in a more professional way but that's what they were thinking.

    Leave a comment:


  • tbevel
    replied
    Her mother argued that the reason she was doing poorly and dropped out of school was because of the marriage break up. The main reason imho was because she was spending far too much time partying and tending to her social life. Regardless, the judge decided that even though she dropped out two years ago, she is still entitled to go to school and have assistance in doing so because she was enrolled in school when the marriage ended. My argument was simple; she dropped out TWO years ago and is just returning now at 23, it should not be my responsibility to pay for that two years later...I lost. She is required to provide me with transcripts proving attendance, should she drop out again, I then have to make application to the court to have the payments stopped.

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  • Roni
    replied
    How come you were ordered to pay support on a 23 years old, who dropped out of school initially?

    I don’t think you can just sign up for school, drop in and out and continue to get support.

    Leave a comment:


  • rustedinnocence
    replied
    What happens if you make a lump payment for two years of school and she quits or for some other reason, no longer attends school? Good luck getting that amount of money back then.
    If you want to do a lump sum payment, do it into your own bank account. Or open a seperate account just for those funds....then you collect the interest on it as well.
    This was a court order...yes? Do you also have to pay child support for those two years?

    Leave a comment:


  • Mess
    replied
    The FRO deals with you first, and goes to your employer if you have problems paying.

    Leave a comment:


  • tbevel
    replied
    Given the overwhelming consensus regarding the FRO's ability to handle anything "out of the ordinary" (or just the ordinary for that matter), opening a separate bank account strictly for the support payments makes the most sense. This way I could deposit the entire two year amount into this account and have the FRO simply retrieve the required amount monthly.

    Now that I have already been in front of the judge and am waiting for the order and the paperwork from the FRO in the mail, can I set it up this way with them (FRO) directly or are they going to have it sent from my employer as I have read on their website? (would just like to avoid my employer being the one to remit my support payments)

    Leave a comment:


  • Mess
    replied
    I've gotten my ex to set up an account strictly for auto transfer for support payments. We have this written into our separation agreement, including the account numbers involved, so it is part of our court order already. However I still had to sign a withdrawl from the FRO or else they would have gone after her automatically and I would have been paid twice. Of course she could have gone after me, so that would be stupid. However there are many stupid people in the world.

    Leave a comment:


  • billiechic
    replied
    You can set up a bank account to automatically make payments for you. You just make sure to include some desription in the name of the account it's going into to show what it's for.

    For example, I make a payment every month to pay my rent. The automatic message says something about the "rent payment". You can do the same thing and include the account number, FRO and receiver's name in it and for CS and date. Then they can't say it's anything but a support payment

    Leave a comment:


  • limer
    replied
    No. The FRO will only act upon court orders. Unless through the FRO, he will have to made perfectly clear the intent of any "giving" of money and what it is for. Think of it.. After the fact.. they say it's a gift... arrears still owing... any money given needs to be conscise as to the intent..

    Leave a comment:


  • billiechic
    replied
    Does FRO automatically garnish wages?

    If not, then can't you set up a bank account and deposit the lump sum in there and have FRO draw from there? That way you will earn the interest!

    Leave a comment:


  • limer
    replied
    Just a thought on the monthly basis... If you opened a bank account at the same financial institution she uses then you could make automatic transfers into that account. Given it was court ordered, I would think to ensure that the money given to her her are part of the court ordered requirements, and not a gift.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rioe
    replied
    Maybe you could pay the university or college directly? I know tuition usually has to be paid up front at the beginning of term, so that might be more helpful if you want to do the lump sum thing. Of course, if she drops out, you wouldn't get the refund though.

    Leave a comment:

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