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  • Child support before spousal?

    I now have 2 seperate orders against me. One for cs and ss and the other for cs. One is already filed with FRO, the other is about to be. Just the CS orders alone take up 55% of my pay. How will FRO divide the money? Will they pay out the CS first and then the SS? Will they honour the first agreement before the second one?
    My first ex is taking me back to court for, (and I'm not joking) 100% of my pay + $100.00 a month.
    How does a second child support payment fit in?
    Thanks

  • #2
    Originally posted by havebe View Post
    I now have 2 seperate orders against me. One for cs and ss and the other for cs. One is already filed with FRO, the other is about to be. Just the CS orders alone take up 55% of my pay. How will FRO divide the money? Will they pay out the CS first and then the SS? Will they honour the first agreement before the second one?
    My first ex is taking me back to court for, (and I'm not joking) 100% of my pay + $100.00 a month.
    How does a second child support payment fit in?
    Thanks
    This is an example of how F'd up our system is. It puts the father in an impossible situation to begin with, then then mom wants more, where is the CP's responsibility in all of this? It just blows my mind. The father is better off in jail, at least he'll have a home and get 3 meals a day. Then what the CP get,,,nadda! Got to love this Country, I think we've created a whole new industry and it's called CS.

    To answer your question, the second CS payment comes in after the first is taken care of if I am not mistaken.
    Last edited by LostFather; 11-14-2010, 06:32 PM.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by LostFather View Post
      The father is better off in jail, at least he'll have a home and get 3 meals a day.
      Yeah, fathers are better off in jail where they will get 3 squares.

      Originally posted by LostFather View Post
      Got to love this Country, I think we've created a whole new industry and it's called CS.
      There's a river in Russia, it's called the Crimea. Now hurry up and call me a bully.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
        Yeah, fathers are better off in jail where they will get 3 squares.



        There's a river in Russia, it's called the Crimea. Now hurry up and call me a bully.
        Ha, I do not need to DTTE, you've got that one covered all ready lol.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by havebe View Post
          I now have 2 seperate orders against me. One for cs and ss and the other for cs. One is already filed with FRO, the other is about to be. Just the CS orders alone take up 55% of my pay. How will FRO divide the money? Will they pay out the CS first and then the SS? Will they honour the first agreement before the second one?
          My first ex is taking me back to court for, (and I'm not joking) 100% of my pay + $100.00 a month.
          How does a second child support payment fit in?
          Thanks
          Have you filed a claim for undue hardship?

          CS comes before SS however I have no idea in what order they prioritize it if the SS goes to the first wife. Common sense would dictate that CS gets paid out first for both sets of kids, then SS however common sense seems rarely the direction these things go.

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          • #6
            Thanks for the replies. I haven't filed undue hardship because what started this whole mess was that my first ex's ss was to end in Oct. Seven years of ss for a 7 year marriage. But she's decided that at 32 years of age, that she deserves $2000.00 a month for life in ss and $1788 a month in cs. My girlfriend got sick of the whole mess and got $1000.00 a month cs.
            My lawyer says that until the first ex is actually awarded everything she's asking for, we can't file undue hardship.
            Last edited by havebe; 11-15-2010, 08:29 AM. Reason: Spelling error

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            • #7
              I'm not in a position to say whether your lawyer is right or wrong, but you may not have understood or may be misquoting. You can make a claim for undue hardship in your answer before any support amount is awarded. You should do this because otherwise you are dragging out your court case and costs. And there is no support in legislation or case law for your ex to receive spousal support for life at the age of 32 unless there is far more to this story than you say.

              "My girlfriend got $1000 a month CS..." No, your children are receiving support. If you still lived with your children then you would still be supporting them anyway. Perhaps you think it would be nice if your children simply moved out and you didn't have to support them at all? You support them whether they live with you or not. You may have an issue with feeling you pay more for their support now than if they lived with you, or that your GF is benefiting from the money. Here's the reality, you won't see a formula that is guarenteed "break even" so the formula comes down on the side of the kids.

              I agree that your situation is a mess, and I think that what you have said about your legal advice is questionable, and you should not be paying SS any longer. However at least some of your situation is the result of choices you made. Why did you choose to support the first woman in the first place? Why did you choose to have more children if you couldn't afford the support you were already paying? You stepped into a certain type of lifestyle, you accepted dependants, your first ex doesn't sound like an honest and reasonable person. I do hope you are able to sort this out in a fair and reasonable way, but the courts didn't force you to get married in the first place.

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              • #8
                Yep, it sucks but it is what it is.

                You need to get the Spousal situation sorted out ASAP.

                You knew what happens when you split with a partner and have kids with them, probably better than most. (as you were paying it out to your first ex).

                Yet you decided to have ANOTHER child? Should have check the tables first dude.

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                • #9
                  Thanks for the replies. Mess, I have never said, that I begrudged cs to my children. I stated that my gf got $1000.00 in cs because she did. Please don't jump on me for not wording it exactly the way your comfortable with.
                  As for not being able to afford another child, with the employment that my ex gf and I had, we were comfortable with having one. But when the original ex gets greedy and wants to double her intake on my back, it kinda threw a monkey wrench into things.
                  Thanks again for the replies.

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                  • #10
                    why does your first ex deserve SS over and above what the usual length is (half the length of the marriage) It's not like she is older and not capable of taking on a new profession or training. Why is your lawyer letting this go through?

                    You have a case for undue hardship and if you let the first ex get SS just to get it over with, you weaken your argument considerably. I think it's time for some fresh legal advice..get a second opinion

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                    • #11
                      She doesn't deserve it. She just wants it. Her lawyer let's her think that all things are possible. I am fighting it. We have a case conference coming up and hopefully, there will be some common sense applied and she'll see that her lawyer is just using her as easy money. I don't have a lot of faith in the family law system, but I don't believe for a moment I'll have to pay 100% of my salary to one ex and still owe $1000.00 to another. It's just a pain in the butt having to deal with this foolishness.

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                      • #12
                        Ok, then they are just trying to scare you. You need to really look at her income, compare it to your income SS is not a given and unless there is some dire need, she shouldn't get it.

                        Also, from the perspective of "best interest of the child" your kids should be getting CS before ANY SS is calculated. You need to make sure that the court knows that there is another child not party to this and that the CS payable for this child needs to be considered in calculating SS.

                        What does your lawyer say to that?

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                        • #13
                          Her income is next to nothing by choice. We have two kids, 13 and 10. She's starting that the $2100 a month I was giving her, for cs and ss wasn't enough for her to educate herself on.

                          After 7 years she's decided she wants to go to school (she won't, she said this before 7 years ago, which is why she got $1000.00 a month ss to begin with)

                          She works approx. 20 hours a week. States that she is unable to work more than that, due to wanting to be at home for our kids. Therefore needs to double her ss to be able to do this.

                          Again, I have no faith in our system, but don't believe she'll get what she's expecting.

                          My lawyer says that it really is all dependent on the judge.
                          Last edited by havebe; 11-15-2010, 06:09 PM. Reason: Forgot some information

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                          • #14
                            Again, the idea that you shouldn't file undue hardship unless/until your ex gets the SS is flawed. You can't ordinarily just keep reopening a case unless you can show a material change in circumstance, and you can't just go to a court of appeal without showing the originial judgement was flawed. The onus is on you to provide a complete argument in the first place. If the amount of support she is seeking will cause you undue hardship, then you have show that upfront in your arguments. I urge you to double check with your lawyer what they mean by telling you not to make this claim. You should simply show your income, your NDI (net disposable income) after paying both CS amounts, and then compare that to her NDI after she receives support. Yours should not be less than hers, and hers should only be brought up to within 45% of yours.

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                            • #15
                              I have asked specifically about undue hardship. However, my lawyer says that now that this motion to end her ss is in motion, that to start over with an undue hardship would just take longer and be more expensive and harder to get than just presenting the case that she's had 7 years to get herself together and be able to support herself. Ill see what happens at the case conference. Maybe the mud will be a little bit clearer after that.

                              Comment

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