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  • Common law finances and separation date

    Hi. Hoping someone has an answer on this.

    Some background:
    My ex and I lived together for 10 years. We have two children together.

    In January of 2008, we decided to purchase a home which was only in my name. In February, 2008, he decided we were done - however, the paperwork on the home had already been finalized.

    We lived in the same house until May 2008 when I took possession of the house. He remained in the rented house until July.

    In April of 2008 he instructed me to no longer access his pay (which went into a joint account) which I complied with. However, he did not pay any of the bills other than groceries once (approx $140) and childcare once ($300 - one week's worth) for the remaining 2 months we lived together.

    Before I moved out I gave him $2500 in cash which he requested from the down payment money for the purchase of the home so that he could buy a new vehicle (which I co-signed for) and for first and last on an apartment. I complied as half the down payment money was rightfully his anyway.

    I have a few questions:
    1. Because we were common law and not married - was I obligated to pay all the bills OR once he separated our finances (by requesting I don't touch his money) was he responsible for his portion of the bills?
    2. What would the courts recognize as our separation date?
    3. I owe him for the down payment on the home - would the courts recognize the $2500 as partial payment of what I owed or will it be ignored as it would be if we were married?

    Thanks for any insight.

  • #2
    If I understand correctly, you were renting a house, he stayed in that house, you moved into the home you had just purchased and he never lived there at all. He had given you some money for a deposit on the purchased home which you have partially returned to him.

    So regarding the bills, you should have been responsible for the bills 50/50 for the rental home. You were both tenants. In terms of the tenancy only (not other separation issues) you should have given him notice you were leaving at which point he had the decision to make to give notice to the landlord. If you gave him sufficient notice then you aren't responsible for costs after you left. The timeline would be, he was responsible for 50% (or your previous arrangement if it was 60/40 or something) until you left, and then he was responsible for 100%.

    The separation date is theoreticly February 2008, if you both agreed you were separating and you began sleeping in separate rooms. If you both agree on this date you are fine. If either of you has reason to contest it, you have to look at some kind of paper trail, like giving notice to the landlord. When he stopped paying the bills, you stopped accessing his pay from the joint account, you could demonstrate this as confirmation that the two of you had made a decision by that date. Since you moved out shortly afterwards this should be straightforward. To be clear, if you both agree on a date, the courts aren't going to reject you.

    The $2500 is dodgy if he wants to deny it was a repayment, and reading between the lines here, this is why you are concerned about the separation date. It would have been better if you got a receipt from him that noted what the money was for. You want to show reasons to back up your statement that the discussion to separate was had in February. You want to show the bills and bank statements showing a sudden change in the payments, where you were now paying everything but groceries; this shows that you two were following through with your separation discussion. Once you can clearly establish that you were separated before the $2500 was paid, you can then claim that the $2500 was an installment on money owed, paid right away so that he could set up his new apartment. If the payment was immediately before he paid first and last then this should be pointed out.

    If he wants to deny all of this, he needs to explain why the hell you would give him $2500 immediately before you two physically separated and he paid first and last on an apartment. This is something you will use in a rebuttle if he denies the separation date. Presumably he would have to claim that you two decided to separate a couple of days before you moved out.

    Comment


    • #3
      That's fantastic, thank you.

      The money I gave him was end of April, beginning of May. He used part of it as a down payment on his truck that I co-signed for and I have paperwork on.

      The rest he ended up just spending.

      He had a separation agreement drafted in March so that should be proof enough that we were separating. My concern was that we would be treated as married couples, in which case it wouldn't matter that I paid all the bills. I really don't care about that part - I'm only concerned with the $2500 but I'd like to know what leverage I have if he argues it. I DID pay his car insurance until Sept - 3 months AFTER I moved out so I can definitely claim he owes me for that.

      I should add - I think I was the only one on the lease for the house - would that mean he wasn't responsible for paying rent?

      Thanks again.

      Comment


      • #4
        Another question - can he claim unjust enrichment because I ended up with a house and he did not?

        Comment


        • #5
          The money I gave him was end of April, beginning of May. He used part of it as a down payment on his truck that I co-signed for and I have paperwork on.
          Why in the world would you cosign a loan when you just separated? You are now legally responsible for that debt if he defaults.

          I DID pay his car insurance until Sept - 3 months AFTER I moved out so I can definitely claim he owes me for that.
          Again, wow...he can use that if he wanted to argue you were still together. "We just agreed to take a break for a little while your honor"

          I should add - I think I was the only one on the lease for the house - would that mean he wasn't responsible for paying rent?
          If he didn't it would mean YOU are responsible for that debt if you were the one on the lease. Did you not notify the landlord you were leaving prior to moving out and that he was staying there?

          Unjust enrichment would not apply, you gave him back his down payment, or at least some of it, he never moved into the home, you paid for pretty much everything to do with the house and it's in your name. You owe him for whatever the remaining amount of down payment he contributed.

          You need to get your name the hell off that loan for his truck. As in yesterday. That was a supremely bad move.

          HE needs to be paying you child support for the children if he isn't already.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thankfully, he drafted a separation agreement in March that I had reviewed by my lawyer so there can be no dispute that we were indeed separating.

            Unfortunately, I was trying to keep things as amicable as possible and the entire thing has backfired on me. My name is no longer on the truck loan

            I let him take almost everything we owned and paid all the bills until I moved out and now he's accusing me of stealing money. It's ridiculous but fuels his anger. He's somehow convinced that we are living the high life or something when reality is I barely make it by each month. Some months I don't and end up having to borrow from relatives.

            BTW - I'm paying him child support as I am the higher income earner. He's supposed to be paying 50% of all 'extraordinary' expenses but the only one he contributes to is the childcare because it's a tax break for him. I pay for all their extracurricular stuff and this year had to buy all new snow gear ($280 worth) and I won't see a penny for that. And the wonderful system we have won't allow me to deduct what he owes me from his child support. Fantastic.

            So now he's threatening to take me to court for the money I owe him. I really hope what I've read here is true because I just can't afford to dish out anymore to him.

            Comment

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