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a letter but NO application ????

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  • a letter but NO application ????

    Well I have retained a lawyer and given forth the necessary paperwork regarding the mortgage, form 13.1, etc…
    An assistant at the legal office is drawing up a letter to have the lawyer look over and then send to my ex. From what I gather, they are not doing an application until after the time they allot my ex in the letter, to respond, expires.
    Does this sound right? Do you start everything with sending the other party a letter expressing what you want (I should say NEED) to be done? Am I being pulled into an extra step (aka lawyers expense) that doesn’t need to be done? I guess what I am asking is if it would be better to just start the application?

  • #2
    Can you provide more detail about said letter? Otherwise, I have no clue what your question is seeking, and no way to answer.

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    • #3
      The letter my lawyer is sending states what I am asking for from him.
      e.g.: 50% of the equity in the jointly purchased home - either he can buy me out for fair market dollar value (we came to through the appraisals less costs), or for it to go up for sale. But before going for sale, the partly finished basement has to be completed as there was a flood & the joint house insurance paid out to have it fixed. My ex was suppose to fix it (he does home renos/repairs as a side business) & we have all the materials purchased (6k worth) from joint funds and insurance money, but just sitting downstairs collecting dust.....If he doesn't want to finish it, even though the insurance PAID him to finish it, he can pay equal portions to our wages to have someone else come in to finish it (he makes 68% of the total income, I make 32… so he’ll pay 68% of the workman’s bill, which I think is more than fair seeing as my ex has already been paid a lump sum to do it. ..... We’d like his agreement on a list of joint belongings to be split, and a S.S. amount for a short duration of time to help with the financial transition of becoming reestablished and financially independent. (I moved out of the county and gave up job opportunities for advancement …night courses for upgrading etc… because of the over an hour commute I had to do, and the family obligations with dinner, driving kids, etc, because he worked such odd hours and we lived in the country. He felt his job was more important because it was the higher paying wages and it was in ‘OUR’ best interest if he remained close to his employment so we moved away from my job and closer to his…hence why we are asking for a short duration of time for spousal to be paid out.
      The letter, after stating all of our requests will give him a deadline to respond by. If he chooses not to respond within that time, or not to agree to any of it, then an application to the court will be made. (and I am sure an application WILL be made because his personality will not allow him to anything that he does not want to do and his sense of entitlement so extremely skewed.. like he’s above the law… It’s actually sad when you step back from outside and look in at a narcissist... he continually shoots himself in the foot with being unreasonable,,, but I digress….)
      Hope that helps with the question… and thanks for reading my post and trying to help. It’s hard to keep everything straight and keep on top of things when you find yourself swimming in the cesspool of stress and you have no life jacket… this forum is sort of like the water wings to help one remain with their head above water… again, I am so grateful to have found these boards.
      Thanks !!!

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      • #4
        The reason that the letter is used is to be able to demonstrate that you attempted to settle the matter without rushing off to court. The court wants you to settle without its intervention. The lawyer is setting the table to show that you were reasonable.

        Just don't let the lawyer get dragged into a never-ending series of expensive letters back and forth. If it is readily apparent that settlement cannot be negotiated out of court, and you can demonstrat that you tried to do that, instruct the lawyer to bring an application.

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