Would like to consult a lawyer but...

[sobeit]

Hello,

Married for 36 years, husband has had an affair and maybe still happening. I have evidence of money transferred to her name, and pictures. My problem is I am trying to save this marriage not 100 percent sure of a divorce. I don't make enough money but I need some advice on what I can do, I would like to speak and consult with a lawyer however dont have the money? Does anyone know where I can get such help without it being so expensive?

Thank you,

[dinkyface]

Do you want the lawyer to help you with reconciliation efforts? Or to help you prepare/protect if reconciliation fails? Or to help prevent your joint assets from being siphoned off to the mistress? Or to find out how the affair would affect divorce proceedings and settlement?

[Mess]

If you are in Ontario:

Read "What you should know about Family Law in Ontario", a short simple pamphlet from the Ontario government.

Call the Law Society of Upper Canada, they have a referal service that put you in touch with a specialist dealing with your type of problem (you explain to them) and you get a free half hour consultation. You can get your consutation by phone usually. To make the most of it, sit down and write out your details in point form in logical order, length of marriage, his job and income, your job and income if any, amount of family assets (roughly). Don't spend much or any time talking to a lawyer about affairs, it is not relevent in Ontario law.

Write out a list of your questions. Leave space to pencil in extra questions as the lawyer talks. Keep focused and don't get overwhelmed, lawyers love to talk. Keep an eye on the clock and pace your questions and get them all answered. Write down the answers so you can think about it later.

Now contact the Family Law Information Centre which will be at most courthouses that deal with family law issues, there is a list on the webpage. You can get another free half hour consultation in person. Take your page of information and your list of questions and ask about things you were confused about after the first talk.

Now go to Chapters or Indigo or order online Surviving your Divorce by Michael Cochrane, an experienced divorce lawyer who practices in downtown Toronto. Also get Tug of War by Justice Harvey Brownstone, a family court judge in Ontario. Both these books are excellent, up to date and deal with Canadian/Ontario law and give excellent advice.

While you are reading use that time to try to relax and think about where you want to go with this. What happens depends on what you want.

[sobeit]

Thank you for the information. I will for sure contact Law Society of Upper Canada and Family Law Information Centre. I hope to get most of my answers from there. My biggest problem is he is not in this country because he went back to the country where the affair occured. He tells me it's because of work that he is there, intially this is how it all started. I am trying to follow him through phone calls and contacting the people in that country but no one knows where he is. He needs to come back and solve our issues, we have an 18 year old and she wants to continue school here in Canada but I want to go back to my home country I cannot deal with it if I become divorced. Need the help from him for our daughters schooling, finding a school in my home country and selling the house and car here. It is like my hands are tide?

[sobeit]

I want the lawyer to help me with reconciliation efforts?

[blinkandimgone]

I'm not surre a lawyer can help you with that if you don't know where he is.

[May_May]

Sobeit-I'm just starting my process but I don't have any advice yet...Sorry you are going through this.

Dinkyface-I didn't think that if your partner had an affair that it would impact the proceedings and settlement ? How can it impact either ? From what I found online I only found that if your partner had an affair you could update the divorce date to immediately ? Thanks for your insight...