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  • Ex's bills/utilities are still in my name

    My wife and I are separated, and I moved out of the matrimonial home several months ago. The bills/utilities at the home are still under my name. I have sent her countless e-mails about this over the last few months, and even now, some bills and utilities are still under my name.

    I've told her that the deadline for all accounts to be transferred is at the end of the month. If she doesn't follow-through, I'm not sitting well with the prospect of cancelling accounts when my kids live with her 57% of the time. There are serious potential ramifications of this as well (legal and otherwise), if for example, the phone line is cut and there's an emergency.

    Does anyone disagree that 3 months is more than enough time to have bills and utilities transferred to her name? What do I do?

  • #2
    If the accounts are still in your name...Why don't you take the initiative and have them changed to their name. Do they not have a cell to make a 911 call in the event of an emergency? They should for the same reasons you mentioned.

    Welcome to the forum.

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    • #3
      Thanks, logicalvelocity. I've called all of the companies, and none of them will allow me to assign someone else to be financially responsible for the bills -- understandably. She does not have a cell phone, no.

      I could always pick up a cheap prepaid phone, drop it off, and say, "This is in case you need to call 911 when your phone is cut off." Which is an option I suppose, but really, there's no excuse for this to not be taken care of by now.

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      • #4
        It's a difficult situation - What do you feel like doing - I mean considering your kids and all. Whats happening to the matrimonial home? Will you be maintaining the mortgage or will they... What about the Support Issues?

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        • #5
          I feel that I've given her plenty of notice, and hope that my most recent e-mail spelled things out very clearly. I think I'll stick with what I've told her.

          The matrimonial home is actually a rented house that her father owns. You can read about my support issues with another thread I posted today here.

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          • #6
            And what do they want? Maybe an extension to absorb their world and your kids world changing with what you have presented to them?

            You are very thorough and appear anxious for immediate closure, but I do think Settlement will be difficult considering if they actually followed through and disposed of your document. Whats your view - Is it reasonable to expect expedited Settlement if communication breaks down?

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            • #7
              I'm afraid that I don't understand your post. With regards to having bills and utilities changed over, I believe providing more than 3 months to make a few phone calls is ample, and doesn't require further extension or absorbency.

              If you're referring to the separation agreement in my other thread, I'm still not sure I understand your post. I'm not anxious for immediate closure. I'd like to have a separation agreement signed in the near future if at all possible, which I feel is reasonable 5 months after separating.

              The more I read your post, the more I'm confused, and I'm wondering if it was meant to be posted in another thread. If not, help me out here.

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              • #8
                Yes my response was too both your threads in common which you linked. I can see why it lead to your confusion.

                As you mentioned:

                Her reaction when I handed it to her gave me the impression that she didn't want to have to deal with it, and she may well decide to throw it in the garbage upon reading it. (To explain, she's been collecting 100% of the CCTB/UCCB, and is likely expecting larger child support payments than the offset calculations will provide.)
                Did she read it or did she throw it out. Does she want to deal with it? How is your communication going? If it going good you should have no problems meeting the thresholds you have set for yourself. Good luck

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                • #9
                  She just took the agreement when I gave it to her; I wasn't around long enough to see what she did with it. Realistically, I doubt she'd just throw it out (even if she's unhappy with my terms), I just don't think she knows anything about offset child support payments, and didn't know that I could apply to share the CCTB/UCCB. And neither did I initially, but I doubt she's looked into these things like I have. But I've asked her to let me know her thoughts on the agreement, if there's anything she disagrees with, etc.

                  I think she's reluctant to deal with the stress of "dealing with" the practical aspects of the separation. She wanted to separate, to share custody, and collect child support, but doesn't want to deal with the paperwork and or have to think about it, really. That's what I gather, anyway.

                  We currently have good communication. What might threaten the peace we currently have is her facing much less support than I think she was expecting, and I believe she's enjoying living off the government while not having to work. My proposed support agreement upsets that arrangement, and I doubt she'll be thrilled about it.

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                  • #10
                    It took me over 3 years to get a separation agreement signed, 5 months is nothing, and if you are hoping to have her sign the agreement you sent, this would be an "expedited settement".

                    I agree with LV, if you cut off the utilities, she isn't going to be co-operative. That said, you do need to deal with it and have to get on it eventually.

                    We are perhaps reading between the lines here. It seems like you know what you are doing for the most part, you have researched, taken the initiative with the settlement offer and are generally being sensible about the separation. Meanwhile your ex would, you said elsewhere, likely throw the settlement offer in the trash, and is taking no intiative with the utilities, and I would suspect her father is taking it easy on her with the rent.

                    She may be amicable in terms of not yelling at you constantly, but it doesn't seem like she is ready, willing or able to negotiate yet. Her negotiating style is Avoider which is really not negotiating at all. Until you two can both be organized, open with each other about what the contention is, have the issue on the table in plain sight and are willing to discuss it openly, don't kid yourself that you are negotiating at all or that you are close to a settlement. You aren't.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mess View Post
                      It took me over 3 years to get a separation agreement signed, 5 months is nothing, and if you are hoping to have her sign the agreement you sent, this would be an "expedited settement".

                      I agree with LV, if you cut off the utilities, she isn't going to be co-operative. That said, you do need to deal with it and have to get on it eventually.
                      Ahhhh I see; I wasn't familiar with that term. Cutting off the utilities is not what I'm gunning for; I'm hoping she wakes up to her responsibility to have things transferred into her name. It's really just laziness, I believe; it's not difficult. If things go south, I don't want her to be able to just stop paying the bills and leave me to deal with it. I've mentioned it to her several times (not excessively, just reminding her and trying to set a reasonable date).

                      We are perhaps reading between the lines here. It seems like you know what you are doing for the most part, you have researched, taken the initiative with the settlement offer and are generally being sensible about the separation. Meanwhile your ex would, you said elsewhere, likely throw the settlement offer in the trash, and is taking no intiative with the utilities, and I would suspect her father is taking it easy on her with the rent.

                      She may be amicable in terms of not yelling at you constantly, but it doesn't seem like she is ready, willing or able to negotiate yet. Her negotiating style is Avoider which is really not negotiating at all. Until you two can both be organized, open with each other about what the contention is, have the issue on the table in plain sight and are willing to discuss it openly, don't kid yourself that you are negotiating at all or that you are close to a settlement. You aren't.
                      I think you've read between the lines very well. She's shown very little initiative beyond the current informal custody arrangement, which has so far worked out well, and I've been hoping to get things settled before the other shoe drops.

                      Like I told LV, I don't think she would actually throw the agreement in the trash out of disinterest or anything, I just think some of my terms will be an unpleasant surprise. Her definition of what's fair is quite a bit different from mine... and, well, just about everyone's.

                      As an example, her monthly income has been more than 300% of mine for the last few months (as a result of me losing my job), she's been collecting 100% of the CCTB/UCCB, claiming both children as dependents for social assistance, doing nothing to find employment, leaving me to do all the driving when transferring custody (7-8 hours per week), all the while asking me when I'm going to start paying her child support.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mess View Post
                        I agree with LV, if you cut off the utilities, she isn't going to be co-operative. That said, you do need to deal with it and have to get on it eventually.

                        We are perhaps reading between the lines here. It seems like you know what you are doing for the most part, you have researched, taken the initiative with the settlement offer and are generally being sensible about the separation. Meanwhile your ex would, you said elsewhere, likely throw the settlement offer in the trash, and is taking no intiative with the utilities, and I would suspect her father is taking it easy on her with the rent.

                        She may be amicable in terms of not yelling at you constantly, but it doesn't seem like she is ready, willing or able to negotiate yet. Her negotiating style is Avoider which is really not negotiating at all. Until you two can both be organized, open with each other about what the contention is, have the issue on the table in plain sight and are willing to discuss it openly, don't kid yourself that you are negotiating at all or that you are close to a settlement. You aren't.
                        Mess,

                        I think I suggested to transfer the utility accounts, apparently attempted without success. It's not clear why the utilities won't allow the Transfer, considering non ownership of the home but you make a good point with respect to Settlement of their affairs.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by logicalvelocity View Post
                          Mess,

                          I think I suggested to transfer the utility accounts, apparently attempted without success. It's not clear why the utilities won't allow the Transfer, considering non ownership of the home but you make a good point with respect to Settlement of their affairs.
                          He cannot just transfer to another person without that persons consent. You cannot make another person financially responsible for something without their consent. I am thinking that it could be considered fraud especially if the person who did not give consent fights it.

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                          • #14
                            Would a someone include a landlord?

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                            • #15
                              You cannot transfer a hydro/gas/telephone account from one person to another. To get your name off the accounts, your ex has to cancel the existing joint accounts and set up new accounts in her name only. This usually comes with an administration fee and any outstanding balances must be cleared up by the both of you.

                              I know it sucks, but she would probably be looked at as a new customer also, and may have to pay a deposit for the new account.

                              Anyway, that what I had to do.

                              Comment

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