I've spent a few hours reading these forums, and would like to share my situation and hopefully get some feedback. Briefly:
Today I gave my wife my draft of our separation agreement. I drafted it myself (no money) using an online template from a lawyer. In my opinion, it’s well-written and clear. Her reaction when I handed it to her gave me the impression that she didn't want to have to deal with it, and she may well decide to throw it in the garbage upon reading it. (To explain, she's been collecting 100% of the CCTB/UCCB, and is likely expecting larger child support payments than the offset calculations will provide.)
The separation agreement proposes shared custody with an offset calculation for child support (ie. table amount multiplied by percentage of custody of the other party), in addition to special expenses proportional to income, and sharing the CCTB/UCCB based on percentage of custody. The agreement says that each party's income will be considered as no less than $15,000, regardless of employment status (otherwise, I foresee her remaining unemployed while I pay her more money than I should). Special expenses are to be shared proportional to income, and the agreement states that more than 0.01% of annual income (per child, per year) for extra-curricular activities must be agreed upon by both of us. It states that each of us can claim one child each for “tax and financial purposes.” What happens if she decides to claim both?
With regards to sharing CCTB/UCCB, it's my understanding that the Canada Revenue Agency can send it to me 6 months of the year, and 6 months to her. Is it permissible for us to split that amount each month proportional to each other's percentage of custody? If she doesn’t agree to share the CCTB/UCCB, do I just need to apply for it, or do we have to be in agreement for the CRA to split it? Is the 43% custody that I’ve had sufficient, or would I have to have 50% custody?
With shared custody, is each of us responsible for our own child care costs, assuming we had 50/50 custody?
If she refuses to sign off on what I propose, my intention is to proceed with what I propose regardless. If I'm not able to get the CRA to split CCTB/UCCB, then I will consider my share of it towards my monthly child support payments. Actually, my share of the CCTB/UCCB would be more than my offset child support payments... she would actually owe ME money. I can deal with that (possibly by taking her to court); it's better than me owing her more money than I think is fair. I only hope she doesn't start trying to mess with custody if she doesn't get her way.
I’d like to know if I’m being fair and reasonable, and if my expectations are reasonable. I do not want to be a jerk; I’m honestly only interested in what’s fair for the both of us. If I’m out-of-line anywhere, I want to know.
- we were married for 4½ years before separation, and have been separated for 5 months
- we have 2 young kids, and I've had them an average of 43% of the time since I moved out
- I've been dealing with unemployment for several months, and will be starting a new job shortly
- my wife is unemployed and living off the government quite happily, while claiming she'll be doing in-home babysitting for the last 5 months with no start in sight
- no child support has been paid yet (due to unemployment), and I have no plans to pay spousal support (due to length of marriage, low income, no real disadvantage to her)
- neither of us has any money, and neither of us will be hiring a lawyer any time soon as a result
Today I gave my wife my draft of our separation agreement. I drafted it myself (no money) using an online template from a lawyer. In my opinion, it’s well-written and clear. Her reaction when I handed it to her gave me the impression that she didn't want to have to deal with it, and she may well decide to throw it in the garbage upon reading it. (To explain, she's been collecting 100% of the CCTB/UCCB, and is likely expecting larger child support payments than the offset calculations will provide.)
The separation agreement proposes shared custody with an offset calculation for child support (ie. table amount multiplied by percentage of custody of the other party), in addition to special expenses proportional to income, and sharing the CCTB/UCCB based on percentage of custody. The agreement says that each party's income will be considered as no less than $15,000, regardless of employment status (otherwise, I foresee her remaining unemployed while I pay her more money than I should). Special expenses are to be shared proportional to income, and the agreement states that more than 0.01% of annual income (per child, per year) for extra-curricular activities must be agreed upon by both of us. It states that each of us can claim one child each for “tax and financial purposes.” What happens if she decides to claim both?
With regards to sharing CCTB/UCCB, it's my understanding that the Canada Revenue Agency can send it to me 6 months of the year, and 6 months to her. Is it permissible for us to split that amount each month proportional to each other's percentage of custody? If she doesn’t agree to share the CCTB/UCCB, do I just need to apply for it, or do we have to be in agreement for the CRA to split it? Is the 43% custody that I’ve had sufficient, or would I have to have 50% custody?
With shared custody, is each of us responsible for our own child care costs, assuming we had 50/50 custody?
If she refuses to sign off on what I propose, my intention is to proceed with what I propose regardless. If I'm not able to get the CRA to split CCTB/UCCB, then I will consider my share of it towards my monthly child support payments. Actually, my share of the CCTB/UCCB would be more than my offset child support payments... she would actually owe ME money. I can deal with that (possibly by taking her to court); it's better than me owing her more money than I think is fair. I only hope she doesn't start trying to mess with custody if she doesn't get her way.
I’d like to know if I’m being fair and reasonable, and if my expectations are reasonable. I do not want to be a jerk; I’m honestly only interested in what’s fair for the both of us. If I’m out-of-line anywhere, I want to know.
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