Child support question

[mom123]

If child support was negotiated and agreed upon by both parties at a way lower amount than the tabled amount, ie)less than 20% of tabled amount, and the divorce was submitted jointly without lawyers (every dollar for legal fees is food off my kids table)..what are the chances that the judge will:

a)refuse the divorce and we have to reapply

b)ignore our negotiations and order the tabled child support amount

c)accept the child support amount as agreed upon

I am SCARED to ask for more than he is offering to pay, but I think if I put myself in the courts hands, I will be looked after with the judges order. Am I right, or wrong?
Has anybody else been in this situation?
Thank you for any input, comments or suggestions!

[dinkyface]

You can ALWAYS re-open the question of child support - as long as your claim and reasoning roughly follows the child support guidelines.

He MIGHT have good/fair reasons for offering less than the table amount, in which case, you might not be successful in pursiing this in court (and could spend a lot of $$s on lawyers in the process).
Particularly if you have shared custody i.e. you each have 40-60% of time with your child(ren), then there can be more arguments for altering the 'table-offset' method for calculating child support. But if you have the kids for more than 60% of the time, the guideline is pretty clear - the other parent should pay an amount straight from the table.
Possibly if he has agreed to pay a higher amount in section 7 expenses than described in the guideline, he might want to lower the reguler cs payments?

[mom123]

Kids are with me 90% of the time...and he has agreed to pay only half of section 7 expenses even though he makes more money. He simply does not want his own standard of living affected.
I know his reasoning is wrong, but I am so afraid to argue or make waves. I am scared of what repurcussions there may be.
I wonder if the judge will just think his offer is ridiculous, and order the tabled amount?

[dadtotheend]

The table gives the judge an easy way out. That's what will be ordered if it gets that far.

Advise your ex what you think the table amount will be based on your best guess of his income and negotiate with him to pay 80% at least, failing which you will have no option but to seek the table amount in court.

[dinkyface]

I just re-read your post. He's only offering 20% as in, table amount is $500 and he is offering less than $100? Yikes. I think you need to give him a wake-up call!!! Others here are much more knowledgeable on the process, but I think if he drags out the divorce proceedings because of this issue, you can file an emergency motion to get an order to start paying table-amount of CS. And you won't be the one looking bad.

[mom123]

Thank you. I have advised him of the tabled amount, and attempted to negotiate something reasonable. Unfortunately, I have ended up at less than 20% - not a very successful negotiation!

So, even if I do not seek the tabled amount in court, the judge would order it anyways? Would that be MY easy way out, for then the judge is the bad guy, not me?

[dinkyface]

He knows you are a doormat and he's stepping all over you. You let this go, and it will continue. You are not acting in the best interests of your children!!! (sorry!)

[mom123]

Thanks dinkyface, yup, thats about it...but I am not afraid of Looking bad. I am afraid of HIM, for my self, and also for my children and what he will fill their heads with. I'm the child of a deadbeat dad myself - I know what those kids go through.
Just wondering if the judge will order it, even though I have agreed to a minimal amount.

[mom123]

He knows you are a doormat and he's stepping all over you. You let this go, and it will continue. You are not acting in the best interests of your children!!! (sorry!)

I understand, financially it may not be in the kids best interests. But for what they will go through, emotionally they will suffer...He will in desperation lash out and tell the kids he is losing everything because I am taking his money, he will tell them that he will lose his house unless they come live with him half the time...I could go on but Im sure you get the picture....and I realize the courts will never give him custody, however they are all either just past or just coming to the age where they can make their own decision. I don't want to put my kids through hell that way - dont really know how to put a price on that.

That being said, I would accept 80% or more of the tabled amount if the judge ordered it. I am just scared to say thats what I need...I know there will be consequences.

So, will the judge order it no matter what?

[dadtotheend]

Mom, either you ask for the table amount, or something close, or you're doormatting.

The judge will listen if you're willing to take less than the table amount, but if your ex is only offering 20% and you ask for, say 70%, the judge will look at your ex and say "What?" and may order table amount.

But it won't be because you were being unreasonable

[mom123]

I'm trying to be as reasonable as I possibly can, protect my childrens emotional health, and not be too much of a doormat at the same time! *sigh*

Thank you!

[dadtotheend]

Well then take the 20%.

[mom123]

Do you think thats the right thing to do?

[Looking4Answers]

You Need to Look Out For Yourself

No matter what you do your ex will TRY to put you in a bad light. You take whatever you can from the table amount, and continue being the mother you are. Children of divorced or separated parents eventually come to see their parents in their TRUE light. Let him be a jerk, and bad mouth you, he is only putting himself in a bad light.

You need to look out for yourself financially, the rest will eventually fall into place over time.

[Mess]

Do you think thats the right thing to do?

There's no way to answer that without walking in your shoes.

I get that you are afraid of him, but afraid of what? That he will drag this out? Make him a reasonable offer, he will lose in court, he will have to pay your court costs.

How old are your chldren? 20% amounts to howm much? $400 per month is $24,000 after 5 years. Are you able to support your children on your own without the missing 80%?