Education Costs - Alienated Parent

[Alien Parent]

Brief history:
Separated April 1997
Divorced 2000
two children - born in 92 and 94

General Court orders - nothing specific about education / termination of child support etc.

I have not seen my oldest boy since July 2006 - 2 days before the birth of our child with my new wife. It is my son's choice to not come and see me - we live in the same small town - My ex has used a variety of Parental Alienation techniques and forms of pressure to encourage the split between my son and I.

As my son is about to graduate high school this June and turn 18 in Oct. I would like to try and terminate my child support payment for this child. I know this sounds harsh - I would also like to know what I am legally responsible for as far as post secondary education is concerned. I sound petty here but I do not think it is a good lesson for a child to rely financially on a parent the child has abandoned.

I still have a good relationship with my younger son from my first marriage.

What case law - if any - exists for this type of situation?

[Foredeck]

When the child goes to university, you are still responsible for your prorated share of his expenses.

However, instead of being two payers (you and your ex), it'll be divided in 3.

Your son will have to pay a portion of it, either through work or bursaries and the remainder will be paid by you and your ex.

I have not researched this on canlii too much, so I am not sure what is reasonable. I do believe that they see it as if the two of you were still together, how much would you pay. If you were still married, and you woudl expect your son to pay or borrow for 100% of his education, that is what he should be expected to pay now.

And, since you've been separated for a long time, this would be hard to prove.

[dinkyface]

The Child Support Guidelines do indicate an expectation that the child will contribute 1/3 towards post-secondary education. So that in itself is a good expectation/lesson to pass on to him.

[kamkatie]

The courts have on a few occassions ruled that a child who has unilaterally terminated their relationship with their parent is no longer entitled to support once they have reached 18. It is one of the criteria listed in the "Farden Factors" for determining whether or not a child is still considered a child of the marriage.

The Farden factors in determining whether a child remains dependent are:
(i) whether the child is in fact enrolled in a course of studies and whether it is a full-time or part-time course of studies;
(ii) whether or not the child has applied for or is eligible for student loans or other financial assistance;
(iii) the career plans of the child, i.e. whether the child has some reasonable and appropriate plan or is simply going to college because there is nothing better to do;
(iv) the ability of the child to contribute to his own support through part-time employment;
(v) the age of the child;
(vi) the child's past academic performance, whether the child is demonstrating success in the chosen course of studies;
(vii) what plans the parents made for the education of their children, particularly where those plans were made during cohabitation;
(viii) at least in the case of a mature child who has reached the age of majority, whether or not the child has unilaterally terminated a relationship from the parent from whom support is sought.
Here's the Farden v Farden link from CanLii:
CanLII - 1993 CanLII 2570 (BC S.C.)

[Mess]

kamkatie, that was excellent. I can think of several parents that have posted here that would benefit from that information.

[dadtotheend]

Yes guy. Good info.

[kamkatie]

Wow! Thanks guys, high praise coming from two of the most helpful members on this forum.

Sadly I know about it because I was researching what happens in these cases for our own situation, sigh, eldest step-daughter is 15 so we haven't reached that point yet. I'm sure I'll still be on here asking for help when we get there if things don't improve.

Good luck Alien Parent - there are numerous cases like Farden v Farden on Canlii, try searching using "unilaterally terminate" and "child support" together. Or see if you can find cases that reference the Farden ruling.

[Alien Parent]

Thank you all for your prompt help - it is very much appreciated.

To all of you who are in the battle - my first lawyer gave me a great piece of advice that I would love to share - Always be able to look yourself in the mirror in the morning.

After having been through this quagmire for 13 years now it just never seems to get any better and it is worse when the children are used as tools to hurt. I would urge you all to do the best you can for your kids - keep your feelings for you ex out of the picture.

Having said that - I would love to solicit the opinion of others as to whether you would do what I am THINKING of doing.

Thanks