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  • SadAndTired
    replied
    Originally posted by guydeluxe2018 View Post
    Thanks everyone, all your opinions are appreciated.
    What did you end up deciding Guy?

    Leave a comment:


  • guydeluxe2018
    replied
    Thanks everyone, all your opinions are appreciated.

    Leave a comment:


  • noteasy
    replied
    It is like endless strawman with you. Here is the quote:
    "So you are against using vacation time to spend it with your kids? His ex is basically offering him additional time with his kids but he doesn't want to take the time off?"
    Stop moving the goal posts.


    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Originally posted by noteasy View Post

    Strawman statement that is.
    As a lawyer in front of a judge was the statement I made.

    Judges answer to no one and for right or wrong often act so, they are not bound by the same rules.
    Please stop moving the goal posts.


    If the OP wants to win more time with his kid he should be taking all the time he's offered regardless of the impact on his personal life. And yes a lawyer too would say it “your honour, my client offered the respondent more time but he refused claiming he was unable to take time off or find a care giver for the child”.

    Not to mention cross examination €œyou were offered time on this date, why did you not take it?€ And €œif you arent able to take time off to be with your child, how will you be able to have shared physical custody?€

    I also always think of what the other side would throw and what a necessary response would be. Because ultimately you have to consider what a judge would think and in cases like this, a judge would look at whether or not the person fighting for more time took the time that was offered every time it was put forward.
    Last edited by rockscan; 02-22-2023, 12:07 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • noteasy
    replied
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    Actually I could see a judge asking this question.
    Strawman statement that is.
    As a lawyer in front of a judge was the statement I made.

    Judges answer to no one and for right or wrong often act so, they are not bound by the same rules.
    Please stop moving the goal posts.



    Leave a comment:


  • LMum
    replied
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post

    Actually I could see a judge asking this question. Why you didn't do what you could to be with your kids if more time was given to you. I can also see it in an affidavit against giving more time—the respondent was offered more parenting time during xyz weeks and refused saying they did not want to use vacation time to spend with the children or had no child care.

    If you are in court fighting for more parenting time you take what you can and manage that time accordingly. Whether it is via vacation, babysitting, working from home, using a family member etc.
    I totally agree with this. In my situation my ex NEVER took extra time offered, and majority of the his time, didn't take it as agreed. Child now lives with me full time and hasn't seen ex since November. Take all your time, and any extra no matter what you have to do to get it. Otherwise you look bad. In my case it wasn't decided by a judge but recommended by the OCL.

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Originally posted by noteasy View Post
    There are no questions asked that prompted the "bullying" moniker.


    There as this put forward by the other responder:


    If the above quote does not sound hostile to you maybe think about asking this this way in front of a judge and then claiming to be seeking an amicable resolution, I don't see the other party taking it well.
    Actually I could see a judge asking this question. Why you didn't do what you could to be with your kids if more time was given to you. I can also see it in an affidavit against giving more time—the respondent was offered more parenting time during xyz weeks and refused saying they did not want to use vacation time to spend with the children or had no child care.

    If you are in court fighting for more parenting time you take what you can and manage that time accordingly. Whether it is via vacation, babysitting, working from home, using a family member etc.

    Leave a comment:


  • noteasy
    replied
    There are no questions asked that prompted the "bullying" moniker.


    There as this put forward by the other responder:
    So you are against using vacation time to spend it with your kids? His ex is basically offering him additional time with his kids but he doesn't want to take the time off?
    If the above quote does not sound hostile to you maybe think about asking this this way in front of a judge and then claiming to be seeking an amicable resolution, I don't see the other party taking it well.

    Leave a comment:


  • blinkandimgone
    replied
    Asking questions isn't bullying someone, and we're not going to have threads derailed because you've taken a personal issue with someone. If you feel there's an issue, use the report button rather than derailing the thread, it is possible to disagree with someone or have an opposing opinion without hijacking a thread. You can also use the ignore function so you don't have to read opinions that differ from yours.

    Considering how you seem to feel about the forum, and lawyers in general (ironic, Considering where you're posting), maybe it IS time to reconsider if this is the space for you.

    Leave a comment:


  • noteasy
    replied
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post

    Feel free to see yourself out. You seem to feel you know everything anyway, not sure why you're here.
    high conflict Internet forum bully tells someone they can leave.

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Originally posted by noteasy View Post
    I am not someone to you. You speak for everyone. Got it.
    Internet forum bully identified.
    Thank goodness this forum isn't the end all and be all of Family Law.

    I have read some REALLY bad advice on here.
    Feel free to see yourself out. You seem to feel you know everything anyway, not sure why you're here.

    Leave a comment:


  • noteasy
    replied
    I am not someone to you. You speak for everyone. Got it.
    Internet forum bully identified.
    Thank goodness this forum isn't the end all and be all of Family Law.

    I have read some REALLY bad advice on here.

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Originally posted by noteasy View Post

    Been there done that. If he can rearrange his work schedule that will work otherwise this will wear him down.
    Bending to the will of a bully doesn't work it simply makes them look elsewhere to cause problems for them.
    He knows his limits and the OCL put it at 50/50 and so it looks like it will be that.
    If he takes this deal he is likely stuck with it forever, not a good deal forever the mother has to step up.

    Asking that for time + more might be a good trade off.

    Can we get back to his question?

    I answered his question. There is no care for the kid between school ending and camp starting. She said they should split the time to avoid any costs. To solve his problem easily he says he wants to stick to the order which means mom will need childcare and he will have to pay his share of it.

    He wants 50/50. It doesn't matter what OCL says, if he rejects her offer of more time then he makes himself look bad. Anyone on this forum will tell you to take the extra time and do what you have to do. If that means taking vacation so be it. It isn't giving in to a bully or being dictated to. The kid needs care. Either they work together or he pays for child care.

    Leave a comment:


  • noteasy
    replied
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post

    Actually, your first response in this thread was what I was referring to when noting vacation was needed for mental health. I answered his question on child care. I also know OP is fighting for 50/50 with someone who makes unilateral decisions and withholds the child. When you are dealing with someone like that and it involves more time that you are fighting for, you do what you have to do and take the extra time. If that includes vacation, you give up alone time to be with your kid. If he doesn't and mom needs child care to work as it is her time, he has to pay for it.
    Been there done that. If he can rearrange his work schedule that will work otherwise this will wear him down.
    Bending to the will of a bully doesn't work it simply makes them look elsewhere to cause problems for them.
    He knows his limits and the OCL put it at 50/50 and so it looks like it will be that.
    If he takes this deal he is likely stuck with it forever, not a good deal forever the mother has to step up.

    Asking that for time + more might be a good trade off.

    Can we get back to his question?


    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Originally posted by noteasy View Post
    This is rockscan attacking someone: "So you are against using vacation time to spend it with your kids? His ex is basically offering him additional time with his kids but he doesn't want to take the time off?"

    The original poster's question was about paying for babysitting costs but you went to turn it into something else. He has to work, he has to live, his ex is high-conflict and make unilateral decisions which means she is controlling and attempting to do so here. Did you not read this post? Did you forget the other posts?

    He needs the baby sitting item addressed.
    Actually, your first response in this thread was what I was referring to when noting vacation was needed for mental health. I answered his question on child care. I also know OP is fighting for 50/50 with someone who makes unilateral decisions and withholds the child. When you are dealing with someone like that and it involves more time that you are fighting for, you do what you have to do and take the extra time. If that includes vacation, you give up alone time to be with your kid. If he doesn't and mom needs child care to work as it is her time, he has to pay for it.

    Leave a comment:

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