will I pay SS?

[Foredeck]

I'm trying to figure out if there's a chance that I'll pay spousal support, and what would be an approximate amount. I tried looking online, and there isn't much, and the guidelines, unfortunatly, are as clear as mud when it comes to it. It seems to come down to the judge and the two lawyers.

We were married for 3 years, have an 18 month old daughter together. I make 55k, she'll make 25k (salary and government assistance).

When we met, she was working part time and on EI. During our time together, I paid off her student loans, and a few minor ones.

She is better off now then she was then.

She never worked full time, at first due to being tired and minor mental illnesses (had depression before, which caused fatigue). After giving birth, she worked part time again, taking care of our daughter most of the time.

She will work full time now, with joint custody.

I think that's all the details required. I realize that her standard of living will diminish after the separation, however, it is still a lot higher then before being together. Also, I have a larger house (not luxurious, and could be considered reasonable), and she shares a duplex. After I pay the mortage, insurance, car and child support, our disposable income will be fairly close.

[logicalvelocity]

I'm not clear with all the facts but with what you mentioned you may just very well be liable for some sort of spousal support and or perhaps contribution to some sort of Section 7 guideline Daycare expenses. Your child is young and will require daycare if one or both of the parents are not able to care for the child because of employment.

Spousal Support - Needs v. Means is the rule. It might be cheaper to allow one parent to stay at home and pay spousal support to same and have a piece of mind that your child is in good hands rather than incurring daycare expenses. You should consult with the other party and determine their position and desires. Both are tax deductible, one just has to do the math and be open minded towards the child's ever changing interests.


lv

[Foredeck]

I will be paying my portion of the child care expenses and all the extra expenses.

I am fine with that, under the CS tables, I should be paying 290$ or so. And, I calculated that I'd be paying 400$ per month (my portion of the expenses, plus some minor payments).

I would rather put the 110$ per month I paid extra into going for asset division, then spousal support.

Also, I know that this is not supposed to count, but she cheated on me, I have a little proof, nothing that would stand up completly in court unless she confessed. My lawyer said that it would be another argument to say she was not entitled to spousal support.

[logicalvelocity]

I will be paying my portion of the child care expenses and all the extra expenses.

I am fine with that, under the CS tables, I should be paying 290$ or so. And, I calculated that I'd be paying 400$ per month (my portion of the expenses, plus some minor payments).

I would rather put the 110$ per month I paid extra into going for asset division, then spousal support.

Also, I know that this is not supposed to count, but she cheated on me, I have a little proof, nothing that would stand up completly in court unless she confessed. My lawyer said that it would be another argument to say she was not entitled to spousal support.

To me that strategy is going to come back and haunt you with respect to Joint Custody. How in the world can you demonstrate historical communication and co-operation if the issue of custody is litigated. Smear campaign with respect to adultery is not the way to go. Could be wrong but its always best and cheaper to leave the mud out of any litigation and focus on your child's interests.


lv

[Foredeck]

I am actually trying to avoid that at all cost. I don't want to mention the cheating. At this time, I am keeping my cards close to my chest, but it's a last resort. If she decides she wants to clean me out, it'll come out.

But, I do understand that it's best for our daughter to resolve this as cleanly as possible

[Charlie]

Does cheating affect spousal support ?

[Foredeck]

Does cheating affect spousal support ?

I was told that technically it shouldn't. But, judges are human, and second, if the reason for the marriage breakdown is on my ex-wife, then she shouldn't benefit from the breakdown, and therefor not entitled to spousal support.

[Charlie]

Is'nt that just your opinion, as I'm sure she and her lawyer will think she is entitled to ss

[Foredeck]

This is coming from my lawyer and a little I picked up online. It is not a defining argument, but it can be used, and it'll help sway the judge. If everything else points to her having spousal support, cheating won't change that.

[Charlie]

I'm in the same boat so I hope your right.thx

[standing on the sidelines]

yes but to use the whole cheating thing she could counter that with something like, he was never there for me, he emotionally shut me out etc etc. Not saying that she will or anything but it is something to prepare for in case she does

[logicalvelocity]

yes but to use the whole cheating thing she could counter that with something like, he was never there for me, he emotionally shut me out etc etc. Not saying that she will or anything but it is something to prepare for in case she does

Agreed. The smear campaign begins.