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Adult child in limbo land

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  • Adult child in limbo land

    Hi folks,
    It has been a while since I have been here...had everything sort of settled for a bit.
    But now a new dilemma. My 19 year daughter who is about to graduate, is telling her father who pays child support for both her and her sister that she is going to take a year off school to save money for her education and isn't sure what she is going to take but does want to go to college.
    He is thinking he gets a reprive from paying child support for her.
    I am thinking...wait a minute...she is living with me, expects to save money, and yet I am not going to get child support. My living expenses depend on that support for her.


    1. How long does she have to apply for secondary education before the law considers me eligible for child support?

    2. If she is only working part time does this make her self sufficient?

    3. Does the FRO office expect me to pay him back if she changes her mind and doesn't go to school at the end of the year?

    Ugh...just when you think you landed...

  • #2
    Unfortunately it would appear at 19 years of age and not enrolled in school the father would likely not to have to pay child support. I do believe if she went back to school then at that point you would then be entilted to cs once again, a tough position to be in I'm sure, we don't ask our children to leave home or provide entirely for them selves simply becuase they turn a certain age, I do agree that the law must recognize the end of support by a paying parent at a certain age, only makes sense. Other wise everyone would have to ligigate the end of support, where woulod it end otherwise. Perhaps there is a provision soemwhere when some one in this situation is "preparing" for studies in terms of working and saving funds for the education....

    Good luck


    • #3
      It would not be fair to expect him to pay when she in no longer in school and supporting herelf part time. There is no firmed up plans for her future education and she may change her mind and not go. I have seen that happen many times.

      Here is and idea but I am not sure if it will float. Talk to her Dad and ask him if he would be willing to pay for some of her education directly to the school for books, tuition etc when or if she goes back to school. If he agrees to that then problem solved. He feels like he is helping her directly and bypassing you.


      • #4
        As per the Divorce act,

        The Divorce Act, 1985, R.S.C. 1985, c. 3 (2nd Supp.) provides:
        2(1) "child of the marriage" means a child of two spouses or former spouses who, at the material time, is
        (a)under the age of 16 years, or
        (b)16 years of age or over, and under their charge but unable, by reason of illness, disability or other cause, to withdraw himself from their charge or to obtain the necessaries of life;

        Factors a judge may consider when a request is submitted for CS of adult children.
        (1) the ability of the child to contribute to his own support, through part-time employment.
        (2) the ability of a parent to pay.
        (3) have all other forms of support been reasonably sought for financial assistance to support post secondary costs, IE loans, grants, bursaries, etc

        You may find this case similar to yours,


        • #5
          Thank you for your feedback

          I appreciate your feedback.

          My situation is a wee bit sticky and I am hoping my daughter makes soem arrangements soon for her future.

          She is a child with ADD and that is part of the reason she is 19 and only just graduating. Her ability to see her future beyond today is very difficult for her and she doesn't have faith in her own abilities.

          I am going to spend the week helping her try to focus on some form of post secondary education so she doesn't take a year off but continues in some fashion until she decides what she is going to do.

          She is working part-time but has save no money and I will need to come up with the tuition and I have no doubt that I can manage to get half the funds from my ex.

          Making matters worse, I have a restraining order on him. He still owes over $30,000 in equalization for which I have garnishment orders on him.

          He is trying to convince her to just work and forget about school but I would much rather help her see she has potential to go to college as it is different than high school and not to set her hopes too short. He is not seeing her potential, only his freedom from paying anything further.

          Not to get into details but he makes 3 times as much as me and almost 100,000 per year. If she needs some time to think, he can afford to provide his daughter that time.

          Just my thoughts. Cross your fingers and hope she believes in herself and registers for something this Fall.


          • #6
            At the very least if she is enrolled I do not believe he could apply to stop support, this would buy you some "thinking" time with out loss of support and when September rolls around she does not have to attend, which of course you will have to deal with at that time.

            Gives you some breathing room/time to figure how to deal with it I would think.


            • #7
              Originally posted by today
              At the very least if she is enrolled I do not believe he could apply to stop support, this would buy you some "thinking" time with out loss of support and when September rolls around she does not have to attend, which of course you will have to deal with at that time.

              Gives you some breathing room/time to figure how to deal with it I would think.
              AS Today has already mentioned, if your child was enrolled even less than 50% of a full time curriculum, the court would consider your child still in need of support. However, the court would want to know why the child was not attending full time and may also expect the child to also contribute to the cost of their studies perhaps through employment initiatives as they are not attending school in a full time capacity.



              • #8
                Hi Lv

                Sorry to spoil the thread
                Did you get my mail?


                • #9
                  In light of her ADD, you are in a different situation, where by the "rules" that the courts use to determine if CS should continue would be altered.

                  When a child has a learning or physical disability that hinders or limits them, then CS can continue past the age of majority with restrictions. Instead of trying to "buy yourself time" as suggested, just be upfront and honest.

                  Explain her ADD. And remember, courts will not make assumptions.
                  If you can provide a doctors letter of her limitations that require extra time for her to accomplish what others accomplish in less time that would be an asset.

                  Take the high road, do the honest thing. I think dad may not understand that despite his daughter’s diagnosis, she is still "capable", she just needs a little understanding, support, and extra time to get there.

                  If you were able to get her to commit to a time line of her most near future with respect to her education etc, a judge will deem that she has a clear goal that is not unrealistic and may order CS to continue. They may insist that she continue to contribute to her education through employment or grants etc while she is not full time, but from your post, that’s not anything she cannot handle.

                  Just something to consider.


                  • #10
                    As FL has mentioned,

                    Because of the ADD, this in itself could be a valid reason why your child is unable to carry forward with a full time post secondary schedule.



                    • #11
                      Thanks again for all of the above...update...

                      It is one year later...she has not returned to school...I prepared paperwork over a year ago for a consent motion to discontinue the child support, he didn't get it back to me until the paperwork had changed in I go again to file with new paperwork in October when I got his signed copies...asked for notice of assessments...waited until February to get a letter from his employer (and friend) that indicated he makes $20,000 less than what he signed on previous agreement that he made...sent letter saying I was not playing anymore and child support would continue until I received proper paperwork or he started appropriate letter from FRO asking if there had been an event that my child had ended schooling...yup...and is the kicker....

                      My final order (trial...not just pre crap folks...Trial) did not indicate the amount of child support income things were based unless he agrees or we go back to court there is no information for the FRO office to refer to.

                      So...I am the first woman that a lawyer I got advice from has ever filed my own paperwork to discontinue child support...grrr!!

                      Lesson to everyone...make damn sure you have everything in those orders because later on things like this come back to bite you in the butt.

                      Filing for retroactive child support
                      Filing for appropriate wording again
                      Filing for discontinuation of one child for support

                      And...deep sigh...waiting on Bill 133 so I can file for the outstanding equalization monies....

                      Oh...and just an aside...when I served him...he said he is not going to show up in court...*deep breathe*


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