how can the CP not work for so long....

[got2bkid]

Hello,

I have 2 year old twins with my husband. He pays CS for his 2 kids. He also pays 100% of "extra expenses". The Child support is 800/month, the health and dental premiums 160/month, orhtodontic 200/month (for 2 years) and access costs 300/month (2 flights a year). So it is very expensive for us.

The reason we pay 100% of all "extras" is because his ex has been going to school for 5 years now. When she first went back to school we didn't "impute" her an income, based on the advice from TWO lawyers, who told us that a single mom going to university to upgrade herself would look good in the eyes of a judge and we would look like scoundrels for trying to stop her getting a better life......

Well her "school" has been dragging on for over 5 years now! She switched programs and keeps saying she will graduate next semester, then the next semester comes and she takes more classes! We think she might be failing some and having to take them over. Anyway, before the twins were born I had a good job and so, even though the expenses were high, I didn't worry about it too much.

But now, with the twins, and her school dragging on, we need that money. We've spend over 20K in the last 5 years bringing his kids out here, and she hasn't paid a dime! So we talked to another lawyer and they advised again "she is almost done, just let her finish school and she will pay more in the end". Same advice! I am getting so tired of this.

Now the dilema, she says she is graduating in August. If she doesn't, should we take her to court and impute her an income? Or is it too late? I am mad that we got this advise from lawyers and for 5 years she hasn't shared in any extra expenses and from what I can tell, she has more disposable income than we do after all her Child tax benefit, tax breaks, etc, for low income people with kids.

Impute an income or wait till she finally gets a job again?!

[got2bkid]

OK - she was supposed to graduate in August. We just found our it will be "sometime in the fall". This a 3 year program taking her almost 6 years to complete. What do we do??!!

[logicalvelocity]

hey there,

Wait till she graduates. The court will see her making a reasonable attempt to better herself. The edge she has is that she appears to be the custodial parent so the court would be very lenient with her.

lv

[got2bkid]

Well thank you for the advice.

However, it is really pathetic and sad that the courts in Canada will be very lenient with her, just because she is the CP. She quit a perfectly good job and hasn't worked for over 5 years! Her ex (through CS and paying for all the court ordered extras) and the government are supporting her, and the system is basically "letting" her impoverish her children by not working.

Isn't the first line in the divorce act "the children should continue to benefit from the financial means of BOTH parents'? I think in this country they mean only the NCP, as they seem to support the CP in doing anything they want, while an NCP could never get away with doing what she is!

Just venting at our pathetic excuse of a child support system that only makes the NCP parent financially accountable.

[singledad99]

Well, my ex is not a CP but she quit her job too. Not only that she is a lazy a** but she is claiming her "not working" as a material change to circumstances. She hasn't hasn't updated her contact info with the employment agencies so every week I get phone calls from the agencies for the potential jobs. But, as she is telling her friends, why would she need to work when she can squeez more out of me for rest of her life.

Got2bkid, I hear your story but its not about her being a CP. Its all about the concept that women are unable to support themselves without a man which is kinda 17th century to me. If I as a man were to upgrade myself they would tell me to go to a night school (which is basically what I did for 8 years).

[got2bkid]

You are right Singledad. I write "CP", because mostly women are the CP's, but I agree 100%, it has nothing to do with CP or NCP, our family law system is strictly biased against males.

Women are treated as the "victims" and unable to cope after a divorce. Our divorce laws were designed in different era, when women were not treated equally in the world. Now it seems that womens groups who support these laws claim they are "victims" when it suits them (i.e. family law) and claim "equality" when it suits them (i.e. in the work world).

No man in your ex's shoes would be able to get away with what she is.

When my last relationship ended I was told by female friends "take 1/2 his house". We were common law and I said "no way, he had that house before I met him, it's his house". Would men be telling their male friends "take 1/2 her house?". I don't think so. It is so ingrained that women should play victim when it is convienient for them. Sorry, got off on a tangent, it's just an example of our biased views in this society against men.