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  • trying to wind down case but delay upon delay

    hi,

    Just want to get some suggestions:

    firstly..the idea of making an offer to settle is not possible, the ex is not rational. She asks to make "an offer" but won't tell me what she wants and has not provided any disclosure.

    1. total cohab was 6 years
    2. shared parenting, we have 50/50 NDI
    3. she was imputted 25K PRE-TRIAL..still refuses to work
    4. she currently owes cost award of 14k for support adjustment, judge borderline called her bad faith negotioating

    In terms of disclosure, we sent a form 20, she ignored it for 3 months, then would agree to provide something, then would not do it, then would agree until finally forcing a motion

    In terms of mediation, she agreed to mediation to avoid a disclosure motion but then refused to actually sign the agreement to mediate

    In terms of settlement conference, her lawyer held out that in our area there is a custom that questioning must occur first and we are not ready to settle

    In terms of questioning, he cancelled twice and never rebooked. The judge pressed if he was ready or wanted to question and he said "not at this time"

    In terms of EP, he has had an NFP comparitor for 18 months but states he hasn't looked at it

    He also held to the judge that this should be mediated but didnt explain why the ex refuses to actually mediate

    In terms of disclosure motion, we likely will win, her lawyer held in 40 years he never asked for bank records, it will be bad faith on her part and she will have a huge cost award again

    In terms of child, we are in open therapy and is going well, but still bad behaviors from her and her mom (she actually blocked me from entering the driveway after she told the kids i was not allowed to enter). the therapist said i am not doing anything wrong and he has to work with the ex on her conduct

    An s 30 is an option, but for what, I won't get sole parenting time and it won't deal with her behavior problem. (I think for this we can have therapist do disclosure meeting and make an s30 a scary proposition for her and her lawyer)

    So as you can see, I am stuck and she is doing a giant stall delay because she is like someone on workers comp who doesnt want to work. She is close to bankruptcy but her parents are bankrolling the lawyer.

    I am hopeful that she will labelled with bad faith negotiating as it relates to disclosure. She likely won't produce the ordered disclosure..and then what?

    Can't have settlement discussions when she refuses to talk and her lawyer refuses to have a settlement discussion citing barriers that he creates and he alone controls.

    I think only option..but months away is to reduce her support by utilizing my credits now or reduce her money so she gets her ass in gear. She generally ignores court orders because there has never been consequences...

    but yeah this sucks...

  • #2
    Originally posted by Kkc View Post
    hi,

    Just want to get some suggestions:

    firstly..the idea of making an offer to settle is not possible, the ex is not rational. She asks to make "an offer" but won't tell me what she wants and has not provided any disclosure.

    1. total cohab was 6 years
    2. shared parenting, we have 50/50 NDI
    3. she was imputted 25K PRE-TRIAL..still refuses to work
    4. she currently owes cost award of 14k for support adjustment, judge borderline called her bad faith negotioating

    In terms of disclosure, we sent a form 20, she ignored it for 3 months, then would agree to provide something, then would not do it, then would agree until finally forcing a motion

    In terms of mediation, she agreed to mediation to avoid a disclosure motion but then refused to actually sign the agreement to mediate

    In terms of settlement conference, her lawyer held out that in our area there is a custom that questioning must occur first and we are not ready to settle

    In terms of questioning, he cancelled twice and never rebooked. The judge pressed if he was ready or wanted to question and he said "not at this time"

    In terms of EP, he has had an NFP comparitor for 18 months but states he hasn't looked at it

    He also held to the judge that this should be mediated but didnt explain why the ex refuses to actually mediate

    In terms of disclosure motion, we likely will win, her lawyer held in 40 years he never asked for bank records, it will be bad faith on her part and she will have a huge cost award again

    In terms of child, we are in open therapy and is going well, but still bad behaviors from her and her mom (she actually blocked me from entering the driveway after she told the kids i was not allowed to enter). the therapist said i am not doing anything wrong and he has to work with the ex on her conduct

    An s 30 is an option, but for what, I won't get sole parenting time and it won't deal with her behavior problem. (I think for this we can have therapist do disclosure meeting and make an s30 a scary proposition for her and her lawyer)

    So as you can see, I am stuck and she is doing a giant stall delay because she is like someone on workers comp who doesnt want to work. She is close to bankruptcy but her parents are bankrolling the lawyer.

    I am hopeful that she will labelled with bad faith negotiating as it relates to disclosure. She likely won't produce the ordered disclosure..and then what?

    Can't have settlement discussions when she refuses to talk and her lawyer refuses to have a settlement discussion citing barriers that he creates and he alone controls.

    I think only option..but months away is to reduce her support by utilizing my credits now or reduce her money so she gets her ass in gear. She generally ignores court orders because there has never been consequences...

    but yeah this sucks...
    Thats the way my friend, till you dont cut off the money supply , the leeches known as lawyers keep feeding and grow fat off your money . Send an official message that you are stopping support payments. A friend of mine who was a cardiologist in Alabama saw his ex eating cheetos and watching TV all day sitting with her BF on the couch in his home . He simply stopped doing procedures or going to the hospital and would barely see patients .Once the income got wound down, the next year he went before a judge down in men friendly south USA , paid her peanuts witha court order and she had to get her arse up to work which demonstrated to the courts that psychologists can make close to 100k a year . Again thats southern USA where they respect hard work and dont support leeches .

    Comment


    • #3
      This is 100% bad advice, do not follow this.

      What has your lawyer advised?

      You may want to ask your lawyer if bifurcation is a good option in your case.

      You can make an offer to settle and try to get movement on at least some issues. Stopping or reducing support payments does not paint you in a favorable light with either the other party, or the courts.

      Comment


      • #4
        yes..I agree that stopping support unilaterally is a dangerous game

        I did find out though that my 14k cost award is FRO enforceable..so i can leverage that

        What we are doing, and it is a good idea but if we have any more stall delay, it will just add time and then we have to do more litigation:

        1. awaiting for an endorsement on disclosure motion. The judge is excellent, but slow. She has labelled the ex as "unreasonable" in last cost award. This time will likely be bad faith.

        2. We sent in a 14b to ask for a settlement conference to be booked. Her lawyer did a reply stating we cannot do it because he has not questioned me and it is a custom to question before settlement conference. He can only question me if mediation fails. You see the loop?

        3. We are also going to put him on notice based on his claims from court
        1. these people should mediate
        2. he is not ready to question
        3. our nfp is problematic

        Solution: have your client sign the mediation agreement by "x" date or advise on the dates to question. Advise of issues with our NFP and if this drags on I will be seeking an advance to cover legal costs.

        It is really unfortunate that she is playing these stall games when really my kids need resolution.

        Again...I would love to make her an offer. She states she wants her debts paid and I said okay show me what they are...and she doesn't produce anything or give me a dollar value. Hopefully we will get a SC booked and highlight she is near bankruptcy and a judge will step in on this nonsense.

        Comment


        • #5
          The need to question you is bs. Especially when he refuses to set it up or even outline what he needs for disclosure. I wonder if this could be a complaint to the law society for stalling. Probably not since he’s a senior lawyer at the bar for several decades.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi- Can you explain more on how you received an imputed income decision for your ex pre-trial? Did you request a motion during the case conference process? And why $24k? Minimum wage @ $15 per hour is more $30-31k full time... thank you!

            Comment


            • #7
              the need to question is total BS..there are plenty of law society complaints

              Imputted income: 3 years post separation and her affidavit said basically she isnt interested in working and will one day have a plan to have a plan to get back to work
              She has every weekend off, so the judge applied the rules that she is underemployed. She did 25 an hour x 20 hours

              Our original support order always was worded that it was to be reviewed before trial..we also got my income adjusted

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Kkc View Post
                the need to question is total BS..there are plenty of law society complaints

                Imputted income: 3 years post separation and her affidavit said basically she isnt interested in working and will one day have a plan to have a plan to get back to work
                She has every weekend off, so the judge applied the rules that she is underemployed. She did 25 an hour x 20 hours

                Our original support order always was worded that it was to be reviewed before trial..we also got my income adjusted

                It makes me laugh though since the lawyer I knew who worked at that firm (kkc and I know each other) used the questioning argument with my husband’s ex to counter her requests for disclosure. He kept saying ex was invited for questioning in materials and it makes me think it was a company line. However in our case she refused to accept questioning and in yours you need documents not her lies.

                Also, I dont mean to laugh at this idiot, its more of a shake my head at the bullshit.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Yes it’s pure bs

                  Luckily my 14k I can leverage that

                  I think we ask him what his concerns are with nfp
                  He doesn’t answer
                  We do a motion asking for advance on ep with money in the house and all my funds to be released…and when he complains we show the pattern

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Wait, I can question my ex over an unexplained drop in income before a Settlement Conference?

                    How do I do this?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Depends when you do questioning

                      Varying and interim order and imputting pre trial are quite difficult as the sentiment is to get the thing to trial
                      In our case the judge decided that I was massively overpaying and waiting for a trial would not be fair

                      If she kept me paying at previous amount I’d likely have to sell my house
                      It’s amazing how shitty the system is

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Mediation is voluntary for both parties. It appears to be causing a problem as your ex is using it as a stall tactic and is refusing to sign the agreement. Simple solution: eliminate mediation as an obstacle and a weapon. Tell them you are no longer willing to mediate. That problem/obstacle taken care of.

                        Your ex is high conflict, therefor mediation/arbitration is a bad choice. My ex is high conflict and like yours, initially refused to sign the med/arb agreement. He eventually did and then managed to stall med/arb proceedings for 5 years! Do not proceed with mediation with a high conflict ex!!!!!
                        Total waste of time and money. Just don’t!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Mediation did work for a kid agreement to get into therapy

                          I think I need to expose she is insolvent at a settlement conference with a very good offer in hand

                          If she still stalls, I will do a motion to get all the money in trust, her parents may back off bc there is no money left.

                          This next judge hopefully will endorse her with bad faith negotiations.
                          She likely won’t provide disclosure.
                          Next would be to try and reduce her support as a means to get her to move her ass

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            also...her lawyer said we should not disclose anything and we should let these two mediate

                            but then i pressed her personally to sign up, and a letter to him soon saying sign up for mediation or question...
                            but yes at some point we will need a judge to take over the case as its going on 4 years and only way to get it to an end is to start reducing support by way of my impending credits or further imputation

                            I have seen so many people suddenly be able to get back to work when their sickness/accident benefits expire..amazing how that happens

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