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  • CS mess

    In short,

    Older daughter with mom but heads off to University end of August.

    Younger daughter had been here exclusively from Feb to this past weekend (she is spending time with her mom and sister over the past few days).

    OP doesn't want to leave the FRO but 'wants' to wait to see what our younger daughter does.

    I need to file something to stop the arrears from building up. But is there a process to 'wait' and see?

  • #2
    There isnít. You need to file something immediately if your ex refuses to withdraw from FRO.

    First, tell the ex you expect her to agree to withdraw from FRO as of August 2 due to the change in circumstances for both kids. Advise your ex that should she agree you will not see arrears for the child who has been living with you or legal costs for having to file. That should they disagree, you will be filing a motion to change and requiring them to pay all costs involved to do so. Give them 48 hours to tell you.

    While this is happening, start filling out the motion to change forms outlining the new situation. Once you have done that you will be ready to file with the court.

    It is difficult to change things with FRO quickly or to have things on hold. Your ex will drag their feet. Get the forms filed immediately because it will take some time to get a court date. Hopefully the threat of costs gets them moving.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you for the prompt reply. I figured as much but wanted to make sure.

      I'm not one for leveraging and am pretty by the book. But I want this done.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Trix View Post
        Thank you for the prompt reply. I figured as much but wanted to make sure.

        I'm not one for leveraging and am pretty by the book. But I want this done.

        Technically that is all by the book but she doesnít need to know that.

        All of this is true as my husband had the same problemóex refused to sign a change on consent and FRO wouldnt do anything without a new order. If your ex wonít withdraw, you need a new order.

        Comment


        • #5
          Don't file wait unless you need the money now. Once you file your ex could start putting up a fight over the daughter because money is involved. If you wait another 6 months or a year your case is stronger. Your ex might need more time to accept the situation.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by terryfyde View Post
            Don't file wait unless you need the money now. Once you file your ex could start putting up a fight over the daughter because money is involved. If you wait another 6 months or a year your case is stronger. Your ex might need more time to accept the situation.

            No. Donít do this. You need to have a date set to stop the arrears. Move on filing paperwork.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              No. Don�t do this. You need to have a date set to stop the arrears. Move on filing paperwork.

              FACT: They have 3 years to file and the date of arrears does not change because they filed a year later instead of 6 months later.

              EXAMPLE: child does change their mind at the end of summer. Their ex files again? It is waste of the courts time and the parents time.

              Been there, done that. Just the facts.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by terryfyde View Post
                FACT: They have 3 years to file and the date of arrears does not change because they filed a year later instead of 6 months later.

                EXAMPLE: child does change their mind at the end of summer. Their ex files again? It is waste of the courts time and the parents time.

                Been there, done that. Just the facts.

                Nope itís the date they requested. And the OP is worried about arrears building up. When you are with FRO the sooner you file the better off youíll be. He will never get the money back if he pays it out.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I just went through court for this. Are you telling me all those lawyers were wrong?

                  When did you go through this and why is there a limitation for how much back child support can be asked for?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by terryfyde View Post
                    I just went through court for this. Are you telling me all those lawyers were wrong?

                    When did you go through this and why is there a limitation for how much back child support can be asked for?
                    Ask your lawyer. This is a site full of anonymous posters. So if you have a better source of information that is professional... Then follow the professional you can afford to hire's advice and move on to another place.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      For myself I did ask my lawyer and also received general direction from the court.
                      Maybe this will help as far as professional information for retroactive support.

                      https://coxandpalmerlaw.com/publicat...child-support/
                      Trix did give notice.



                      What does "move on to another place" mean?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The timelines are based on the supreme court decision as well as when notice was given. You can tell in writing the person that you want to update cs and the clock starts ticking. If it takes four years to get through court, that date is used. If you say I want to go back to 2019 and you get done this year, you donít calculate three years back (2018).

                        Plus, because FRO wonít stop collecting until they have an updated order, arrears build up. If the payor still pays hoping to get the money back, that could be rescinded. Courts take several years.

                        Trixís ex has been playing games for years and he has been overly reasonable in my opinion. She knew her oldest was going away to school and she played games with the youngest spending time with him. He can file the paperwork to get it going and then either say he is ok with the cs being paid for the six month transition or get it back. Either way the paperwork was filed and moving.

                        And I know this because my husband went through this FRO trying to get his ex to update on agreement and then having to go through a motion to change where she asked for a date and then decided to adjust those dates to maximize her arrears to be paid. She was told no she was asking for a set date and she had to stick to that date.

                        Every case is unique though and your case and advice was unique to yours. Some parts of advice is transferable though and since Iíve been following Trixís case and know the games his ex plays (click on his name and read his previous posts) I tell him to file now to do it as soon as possible. His ex will not pay back money she got and will claim hardship. Itís not worth the fight.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          My case and my statement are general but it also applied to Trix's post as per the link I provided. Trix still qualifies for waiting as well and they gave notice.



                          Your post is very specific and personal to this individual.
                          I hope you can understand how people would read your statement and think it is a statement about law.


                          The law is fluid so 2000 or 2010 or even 2018 may not apply apparently things changed in 2021. When did your husband go through this?


                          "She was told no she was asking for a set date and she had to stick to that date." Not the same? That implies that a person must file their motion correctly.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            The link includes points Iíve made as well. As for being unique to Trixís caseÖhe asked the question, I was answering it based on his case. If someone reading wants to infer something outside that, itís on them, the rules of the forum outline to do a search before posting a new thread. Under those conditions one would expect by the time they got to this thread they will see the general nature of the topic.

                            Based on the timelines the court has right now and the possibility Trix wonít see his arrears returned, telling him to file immediately is good advice. By the time he gets to a conference, six months will have passed showing the change in circumstances is set. As well as needing to update for the child away at school.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Okay then.


                              For those that want the abbreviated version of this thread.



                              If you want current information as of 2021 for when you should apply for a change in child support check out this link written by a law firm:

                              https://coxandpalmerlaw.com/publicat...child-support/

                              Comment

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