Pay out verses SS

[pinkHouses]

Agree with the above. Many of us were abused by their ex when they were married and after to. Family Court never ends when you have kids.

Yes, the higher wage earner often gets screwed. More so when the ex wasn't working or can't work.

Just work a solution that is good for you as much of a jerk they were before there may be a little bit of human in them that will let you get on well. If there wasn't they wouldn't be making you offers on the money.

Get your future independent plan off to the best start.

[LMum]

Update...

We went back on an offer with a little less on what he asked for, to avoid SS claim. He said no, so we then agreed to the exact numbers he asked for. They again said no and the pleadings have been amended and filed.

So really he's being unreasonable, I was willing to give him what he asked for. And they filed anyhow. I've told my lawyer that the only way I will pay SS now is if a judge orders it.

We have no idea what he wants. He's asked for something, we agreed and they he said still not enough..

I'm just venting, as I will most likely skip off to court. *sigh*

[rockscan]

Hes being an idiot. Let him hear it from a judge.

[blinkandimgone]

He has to prove entitlement to spousal support. Keep in mind that SS is not tax deductible if you pay a lump sum.

[rockscan]

He has to prove entitlement to spousal support. Keep in mind that SS is not tax deductible if you pay a lump sum.

I wonder if he realizes that but is now trying to drive up her legal bills as a fuck you.

LMum, tell your lawyer to stand down until your next appearance and not do anything until you hear from a judge. I bet your ex is going to wait to hear from a judge and then accept an offer.

And agree with blink—lump sums are not tax deductible. Might as well get the benefit!

[LMum]

Update Update.....

We have finally signed and its been signed off by a judge. He pretty much excepted what was presented in our last offer, which was pension pay out with a little more (not much I bet he paid more to his lawyer) and the same cash payout. NO SS !! I did tell him that I would never agree and would only pay it if decided by a judge. So basically he amended his pleadings asking for but that was it. Just wasted everyone's money and time.

But the most important is the child lives with me full time with EOW and one weekly dinner, but is based on my child views and preferences. He has not seen the child since Nov. Doesn't even ask. I do encourage my child but he doesn't want to see him (the relationship is strained based on dads behaviour) but now I don't have to force it.

Next step is Divorce which I've instructed my lawyer to file.

Happiness was worth the payout.

[rockscan]

Happiness was worth the payout.

This is awesome news and yes, happiness is the payout.

A lot of people get lost in the fear of going to court and paying a lawyer. When you are dealing with an unreasonable person both are needed and the fear should be with having to deal with this person rather than paying to get them out of your life.

My husband lost money in his divorce by walking away from more to stop the fighting (and protect his kids). He ended up back in court as his ex was unreasonable. That was another $17,000 which his ex had to pay $3000 of in costs. They settled for exactly what he had originally offered despite her coming back to demand she get paid back a specific amount of equalization. He complained about the legal costs but I reminded him that having it over and not paying anything else was the payout.

Hopefully this means you can get on with your life!