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  • Update on my case

    I been separated over 15 years. Through out this time I have tried to settle many times. But my greedy ex just kept on refusing. She changed lawyers 3 times already. About six months ago her lawyer writes my lawyer and suggests ADR/mediation. I thought that’s great I can finally put this behind me.
    Well, 6 months go by. Today, I get an email from my lawyer with an offer to settle attached from my ex. Their asking for 6 years of spousal support, in the six figures cash settlement, and medical coverage for my ex for the duration of the spousal support. Just that alone scares me. If she was to have serious health issues I would have to pay anything my plan doesn’t cover.
    I’m not sure how to counter offer. As I said this has been going on over 15 years. It has all been filed in the courts. I checked and the file is still open even though all these years went by.
    Any suggestions would be appreciated

  • #2
    So counter offer and see what you are entitled to. Then if that doesnt work, file a motion to get it moving and ended.

    You are just as responsible for it dragging on. File yourself and get it done.

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    • #3
      Is it common to add that an ex spouse pay for all medical expenses for the duration of the spousal support. I’ve never heard that before.
      I will counter offer. Once I speak to my lawyer. Most likely I’ll change the spousal to a lump sum and obviously reduce the amount she’s asking. If that don’t work guess court is the only option.

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      • #4
        Its customary for an ex spouse to ask for everything. If your ex has no benefits of course they will ask you to continue to cover them. Most benefits programs do not consider an ex as being covered especially when they dont live with you.

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        • #5
          I never took my ex off my plan, even tough she works and has a plan of her own. The thing is when we get divorced she will not be covered under my plan. That’s why I find it strange she would ask me to cover her for the duration of the spousal support

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          • #6
            She was probably hoping you would agree and then deal with the fall out later!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by OB1 View Post
              Is it common to add that an ex spouse pay for all medical expenses for the duration of the spousal support. I’ve never heard that before.
              I will counter offer. Once I speak to my lawyer. Most likely I’ll change the spousal to a lump sum and obviously reduce the amount she’s asking. If that don’t work guess court is the only option.
              I thought that SS was only tax deductable when it was a monthly payment?

              Comment


              • #8
                My understanding it’s only tax deductible when it’s is paid monthly and filed into court record.
                In my case I need to find out if SS is calculated from the day we separated 15 years ago or now. My lawyer at the time said she wasn’t entitled. We will see now since we’re both in our 60’s

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                • #9
                  If you were legally separated 15 years ago I dont believe that time counts towards entitlement. Its just the length of the marriage.

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                  • #10
                    Your lawyer, if they have any experience, should be able to go through the offer and tell you what is reasonable, what isn't, and what a judge would likely decide if this went to trial. It shouldn't take more than 15 minutes for your lawyer to give you a rough idea where you stand.

                    The part about unlimited liability for your ex's health care expenses is likely a bad joke. Your lawyer should be able to tell you this in about 15 seconds.

                    Also, expect that your ex's offer is likely asking for more than she expects.

                    If there are some parts that are acceptable, use these in your counter offer. Things that are aren't acceptable, strike out.

                    If the whole thing is unacceptable, write them back and ask them for a serious offer, and to stop wasting your time.

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                    • #11
                      Thanks, ifonlyihadknown,

                      I appreciate they way you explained it. That’s a straight shooter. I’ll take everything u said in consideration next week when I speak to my lawyer.

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                      • #12
                        Remember that you're paying your lawyer $300-$500/hr not for their good looks, but for their years of experience in family law. If they can't give you some high-level advice in < 30 minutes, time to find another lawyer.

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                        • #13
                          As mentioned earlier my ex is asking that I get medical coverage for her for the duration of the spousal support. (5 years). I called my plan and they said as long as there is a court order issued, I can keep her on my plan. How and who would have to get this court order, and how is it done? Furthermore, since I know she has a plan of her own how can I ask the same.
                          Last edited by OB1; 12-31-2021, 02:18 PM.

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