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  • Split custody - child support, s7, post secondary

    3 children of the marriage - 2 of them were kicked out of their mothers home 6 months ago and reside with me.

    I am still supporting the one living with their mother (full table support) but mother has not and refuses to pay any support or section 7 for the 2 children that I have. She states she can not make an income due to her health issues. She has not worked in 10 years. That I know of she has stated she only lives off of child support and child tax. She has one more child at home (younger, not mine).

    We were dealing with legal proceedings brought on by her for more $ prior to Covid and requested (through lawyers) her financial information 3x and never did receive anything.

    Long story short…does she really get to get off on not supporting the 2 children I have with me based off of medically not being able to work all while collecting for the other child? The one with her will be turning 18 next April graduating in June. Will have to move for further education as it’s hours of a drive either way to obtain post secondary. Can I ask for reduced support based off of having 2 of the 3 children and also having to contribute to the 18 year olds post secondary and their living expenses?

    We are through MEP as I registered myself on it. They are great to work with. They reduced my support down to one child immediately when I asked for a child status review when my 2 children moved in with me.

    We have not done a new custody order as I wanted to give the children a year to live here to make sure it is what they want to do. I imagine when 18 year old goes to post secondary we will have to speak to lawyers about costs and support etc and custody for the other 2 can be dealt with then.

    My 17 year old does not talk to me or my side of the family. He has been alienated from us. Mom has also cut off communication with me 2 years ago and she has put the kids in charge of communication. So I do not have any idea of his plans for his future. Mother has only requested to see the other 2 children 2x in the past 6 months. Relationships are severely affected as the 17 year old has told his siblings that they have effed mom over financially by moving out…mom and 17 year old now telling the 2 kids they need to move home and they made a bad decision by moving - they both seem to forget that mom kicked them out and had me come get them and didn’t let them finish their last month of school before summer break.

    Lots going on…I know my rights as a father are not on my side when it comes to receiving financial support and I could get by without but it is tight. Just wondering what my options might be in this situation.

    Thank you

  • #2
    Technically you erred years ago when you didnt have an income imputed to her but at this point that ship has sailed. What is she going to do when this kid goes to school? Welfare?

    Because you are with MEP and there is no order with set support you have to follow the order for one child. If you werent with them you could calculate what the actual support is and if she owed you money, you could simply not pay her.

    If you want to go to court you could see about having an income of minimum wage imputed to her and then go off that but truly getting blood from a stone wont happen.

    To answer your questions though, yes your KIDS are entitled to support and section 7 but if she has no income then you arent going to get anything.

    As for the comments, the kids need to tell their sibling to fuck off and stop saying shit. They can do it in a nicer way but really its a case of them needing to stand up to their sibling. They could even mention that its nice to know moms true concern is money not them.

    Comment


    • #3
      Her income was set at an amount in the beginning of the divorce. Not imputed though. Section 7 were set at 50/50 and not proportional to income. But now that 2 of the 3 kids live with me she will not contribute support or s7 for the two I have but wants me to continue to pay support for the one she has and 50% of his s7 expense. Which I don’t mind doing on my end. I’ve been doing so for years with no faulter.

      Problem is when child goes off to school his post secondary is to be split 50/50 however, she will claim no income after all these years and obviously want proportional to take place leaving me with funding his whole education with no help from her and while paying her support and receiving nothing in return for the two I have.

      I am just wondering in this situation if possibly a judge would reduce support paid to her so I am better able to help my son with his living expenses when away from home due to having 2 of the other children with me also to support.

      I will likely ask for her income to be imputed as if she can’t work medically she should be on some sort of disability with AISH where their income is at $19,000 per year.

      Also would like to suggest that our children are responsible for at least 1/3 of their education costs. Chances of that?

      Comment


      • #4
        Kids are responsible for 1/3 and that is after grants and awards.

        You could go back to court to have support set. She does have to pay support for the two who live with you but if she isnt earning money its just an award on paper.

        As for school costs for the one living with herif they go away then only a small amount of support is to be paid based on them being there in the summer. Not to mention if she isnt paying for the two kids with you, your obligation to support that kid would go down. The school expenses themselves are unique in that kid will be responsible for 1/3 the ELIGIBLE costs which are tuition residence and meal plan plus books and equipment. They cant throw in a ton of other expenses too. Then you are responsible for half the remaining net cost which is the after tax amount.

        If she has limited income then they should be eligible for student grants. Not sure how it works where you are hut ontario student loans take into account the parents income and low income kids get a lot of grant money.

        Comment


        • #5
          Very insightful! Thank you for the information. I will make a list to bring forward in the new year when the time comes. I don’t know the plans but want to be prepared in the event this happens.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            Kids are responsible for 1/3 and that is after grants and awards.

            You could go back to court to have support set. She does have to pay support for the two who live with you but if she isn�t earning money it�s just an award on paper.

            If she has limited income then they should be eligible for student grants. Not sure how it works where you are hut ontario student loans take into account the parents income and low income kids get a lot of grant money.
            Would I need a new court order stating kids are responsible for 1/3? I plan to request an income imputed which amount should then be taken off what I pay on a split custody situation. I’m supposed to pay the difference between what I pay and what she is to pay correct? Which then would be submitted to MEP but then I couldn’t use the recalculation program anymore as they don’t deal with imputed incomes.

            Also she has NO income and if she does it would likely be AISH or Social Assistance which is less than minimum wage but something….based on her no income he should be able to get grants and loans? Does it go off his parents incomes or both households?

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            • #7
              I dont know how loans work outside of Ontario. If your agreement says nothing about school then you could tell kid they pay 1/3. A new order would help set what is paid so you dont have to pay her anything if she owes you money.

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              • #8
                The order says that the parties will equally share the extra expenses of the children of the marriage. Extra expenses does lists post secondary. It also states that the party seeking contribution must provided reasonable notice and obtain consent from the other party. If a party fails to obtain consent or provide reasonable notice then the party will not be entitled to contribution from the other party. Neither party will withhold unreasonable consent.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The reasonable consent is for things like sports. School is automatic without consent. Hopefully your kids realize their mother is barely functioning and they will need to carry a heavier load.

                  I feel for them. I paid my way through school due to a deadbeat dad. I had a lot of debt into my thirties but I also learning how to be responsible and do good things for myself!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                    Hopefully your kids realize their mother is barely functioning
                    This sounds like you are showing sympathy to the mother, I hope not because she sounds like a deadbeat and worse....that is what guys are called in this situation.

                    I don't know her whole situation.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
                      This sounds like you are showing sympathy to the mother, I hope not because she sounds like a deadbeat and worse....that is what guys are called in this situation.

                      I don't know her whole situation.

                      No it was sympathy for the kids. They have one parent trying their best and the other parent not functioning. Kids in these situations have to deal with an a-hole for a mother.

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                      • #12
                        I do have deep sympathy for our children. The oldest is severely alienated from me and even though the other two live with me now they still have to deal with their mothers mental abuse. She begs them numerous times a week to go back home. Telling them they made the wrong decision. Gaslighting them to forget she kicked them out. The day this all went down she left a message on my phone stating kids are coming to live with me, and she will not be contributing any support or section 7 as she is unable to work. She can’t drive and has no income. However on her 3rd marriage and her house is fully paid off from a settlement. So living off support and ccb has been working for her until now.

                        It is such a double standard. I have lost my job a handful of times in my industry due to closures in the last 10 years and each time she went running to her lawyer for disclosure 2 months prior to taxes changing hands. I have never reduced or missed a payment. Set myself up on MEP and the recalculation program to eliminate the nonsense.

                        It’s just not fair that some people get off on not helping their children. I am all for helping my alienated son with his education but I can not afford to bare the full costs when I am not receiving any support for the 2 that I have with me to care for. They were neglected. No dentist appointments for 4 years. Hair cuts and eye exams I took care of in the 3 days I had them per month.

                        I’m glad they are with me but yes I am sad for them to have another parent that is mentally abusing them still and will be for a very very long time. Hopefully one day my oldest will see too. Hopefully.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          As a child of an ugly divorce I can safely say that growing up helped me learn what really happened. Being abused by a parent is the worst because of the trust involved.

                          You are doing a good thing for your kids and they are lucky to have a dad who doesnt shut the door on them!

                          Comment

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