Can ex be compelled to switch careers?

[350 Mag]

My soon to be ex quit a Govt job 18 years ago. A job that would now pay around $75,000 per year vs the $37,000 she is making as a Secretary.

Is it a long shot to have court suggest she return to her old job?

Or can she make as little as she wants and continue to get max support payments.

Also.

If she enters common law relationship or re married will court grant order to stop support payments?

[Janus]

Are you suggesting that she should or can just step back into a job that she left almost two decades ago?

As a couple, you guys both agreed that she should quit her job. Now, you both get to suffer the consequences.

As for the second question, it depends on why she quit the job. I'm going to guess that she quit the job in order to raise your children. The money you pay her is to compensate her for her lost income opportunities. If she repartners, that would be completely irrelevant.

[Alpinist]

350mag are you asking about spousal or child support? I don't believe cohabitation or remarriage affects child support payments at all.

[Kinso]

Is it a long shot to have court suggest she return to her old job?

Yes. An incredible long shot.

[350 Mag]

I did not want her to quit her job....she refused.

We had a nice home in a stable market we ended up moving to where I work which is now becoming unstable.

This is all in regards to spousal support(alimony).

Are you saying if she marries again and the guy is well off or rich I still have to pay her support every month?

The kids are staying with me.

[ifonlyihadknown]

Ah, yes, the old "you agreed as a couple" justification for being forced to pay for an ex-spouse who spent years slacking off and wants to continue to do so after the marriage ends.

If you ask you spouse to go back to work, for example after the kids start school, and they say, "no thanks, I'm good." What are you supposed to do? Poke them with a cattle prod every morning to get them to look for a job and go to work?

IMO, it's a case of putting all the responsibility for one spouse and none for the other.

[Janus]

If you ask you spouse to go back to work, for example after the kids start school, and they say, "no thanks, I'm good." What are you supposed to do?

Marriage is essentially a business partnership. If your partner is not living up to their end of the deal, then you dissolve the partnership.

If your spouse has been working until a month before you initiate divorce proceedings, I almost guarantee you won't be paying any spousal support.

[350 Mag]

Ah, yes, the old "you agreed as a couple" justification for being forced to pay for an ex-spouse who spent years slacking off and wants to continue to do so after the marriage ends.

If you ask you spouse to go back to work, for example after the kids start school, and they say, "no thanks, I'm good." What are you supposed to do? Poke them with a cattle prod every morning to get them to look for a job and go to work?

IMO, it's a case of putting all the responsibility for one spouse and none for the other.

Had she kept her Govt Job....or went back and 1 kid could have been babysat or daycare.

She would be making $80k/year vs $37,000.

That job would have been a $800,000 pension indexed...by now...

She will probably go after my pension.

She has a college degree and is working as a secretary ???

I told her maybe she should call her old boss ...but she likes having Summers off and lots of spare time for leisure activities.

It's not fair as I work 12 hour shifts.....for 25+ years now supporting the whole household.

She needs to step up and get a better job....her current job is beneath want she is capable of.

In the same vein I could take a job pumping gas or working at Walmart.....BUT not allowed To do that.

I only want a fair deal for both of us.

[rockscan]

You were complacent for 25 years. Something about your relationship led her to believe she didn’t have to work.


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[Alpinist]

If she's been making 37,000 for the past 18 years that's what they're going to be looking at as status quo.

[350 Mag]

If she's been making 37,000 for the past 18 years that's what they're going to be looking at as status quo.

No she left work in 2002.

Went back to work part time 2013.

She is almost full time now....but has 7 weeks off in Summer.

Ya I was complacent....BUT IF men complain they are azzholes....

[LovingDad1234]

I told her maybe she should call her old boss

You want your ex to contact her old boss from 18 years ago? Your ex's job likely got filled 18 years ago. Workplaces hire based on filling a vacancy, not to help resolve a conflict in figuring out the details of separation.

The best that your ex's old boss can do (that is if they still work there) is to say to keep eyes open for job openings and apply like everyone else.

I would drop this argument you are making. Posed to a lawyer, would be a waste of your money. Posed in court, would make you look foolish.

[ifonlyihadknown]

350 Mag,

The system is rigged.
Any good deed will be punished.
This line of argument will get you nothing.

On the other hand, have you heard of the "Rule of 65"? If you STBX's age plus the number of years you've been married add up to 65 or more, you could be on the hook for "indefinite" spousal support. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds. Hope, for your sake, it doesn't apply.

[350 Mag]

You want your ex to contact her old boss from 18 years ago? Your ex's job likely got filled 18 years ago. Workplaces hire based on filling a vacancy, not to help resolve a conflict in figuring out the details of separation.

The best that your ex's old boss can do (that is if they still work there) is to say to keep eyes open for job openings and apply like everyone else.

I would drop this argument you are making. Posed to a lawyer, would be a waste of your money. Posed in court, would make you look foolish.

Well....I guess IF she isn't willing to compromise....I will get "stressed" and have to take medical leave....

And possible end up with a minimum wage job?

That could very well happen.

Then she gets "0".

[LovingDad1234]

Well....I guess IF she isn't willing to compromise....I will get "stressed" and have to take medical leave....

And possible end up with a minimum wage job?

That could very well happen.

Then she gets "0".

It has nothing to do with compromise. Workplaces have hiring practices and there needs to be a vacancy or position to fill. Your ex is welcome to apply to any job hiring postings out there, if she so chooses, but by is no means obligated at all. To ask her to contact her boss from 18 years ago isn't clear thinking, and is actually quite ridiculous (sorry).

On the flip side, for you to purposefully quit your job and purposefully make less money to shirk your financial obligations will look terribly against you. That is precisely why courts impute incomes. Would you rather be paying $X in supports on your current salary, or paying the same $X in supports while making significantly (and purposefully) less?

It is evident you are grieving the loss of your wife and marriage, which is perfectly normal....you may wish to seek speaking with a therapist to ensure clear thinking through this difficult process.