Spousal Support vs Occupational Rent

[rvalentines]

Dear all,

I am going into my settlement conference in the next month or two and wanted to know if anyone has any insight if I should be asking for spousal support or occupational rent or both?

We both work, I pay child-support and S7 expenses, but am facing financial hardship as a result of having to move out. She makes about $40k more than I do.

Thanks


Background:
-Separated in August 2019
-October 2019, she reports me to police for historical abuse allegations against her. As a result, she has exclusive possession of the house and "de facto custody" of the kids.
-Since then, she has only allowed me see my kids once a week, even though I was very involved all their lives.
-I have criminal charges pending as a result of my ex-wife's allegations and am planning on going to trial to defend myself. As a result, I have NO CONTACT ORDER (so can't talk/email her).

[backinthesaddle]

Custody and possession of home

Does she have interim possession of the matrimonial home or is your release condition on the charges that you simply cannot go to the home? Depending on the facts in issue....was your ex injured, doctors reports, witnesses, your previous (if any) criminal record you may just be given a conditional discharge with an 810 peace bond...Most end up like this for minor domestics but Ontario has a strict domestic violence policy that RPG must charge and no discretion. I would ask to speak to the crown on your case. Is your condition not to contact kids? You should still be able to parent if the incident did not involve your children or they did not witness anything. You should be asking for spousal support and child support once your criminal charges are done with.I make 50k more and my ex was demanding it and my lawyer said it was law and I was SOL. (I sorted it out by making a deal with the devil and giving him more equity in the home) Dealing with the separation and details involving support and custody is redundant if your charges are before the court for criminal charges. You don't want status quo for custody to be what it is today. Again, depends on the details of the case and how historical they are...hard to prove anything from 5 years ago unless there is evidence. How old are the kids?

[rvalentines]

Does she have interim possession of the matrimonial home or is your release condition on the charges that you simply cannot go to the home? Depending on the facts in issue....was your ex injured, doctors reports, witnesses, your previous (if any) criminal record you may just be given a conditional discharge with an 810 peace bond...Most end up like this for minor domestics but Ontario has a strict domestic violence policy that RPG must charge and no discretion. I would ask to speak to the crown on your case. Is your condition not to contact kids? You should still be able to parent if the incident did not involve your children or they did not witness anything. You should be asking for spousal support and child support once your criminal charges are done with.I make 50k more and my ex was demanding it and my lawyer said it was law and I was SOL. (I sorted it out by making a deal with the devil and giving him more equity in the home) Dealing with the separation and details involving support and custody is redundant if your charges are before the court for criminal charges. You don't want status quo for custody to be what it is today. Again, depends on the details of the case and how historical they are...hard to prove anything from 5 years ago unless there is evidence. How old are the kids?

Hi,
1. Yes she has interim possession of matrimonial home as part of bail conditions.
2. No injuries, no medical reports, but trial already booked.
3. I am allowed to contact kids but they are young.
4. So can I ask for spousal support now or do I have to wait until criminal trial is done? I am already paying her child support.
6. Kids are under 10 years old

[backinthesaddle]

You are charged with domestic violence. Rightly or wrongly she is viewed as the victim right now. I would just lay low and do what you can to make it to trial date. Even though there is a trial set doesn't mean it goes. A situation with no evidence isn't going anywhere. You will pay your lawyer and just before trial date or day of you will be offered a plea deal. Most likely an 810 Peace Bond if the cicrumsances are he said/she said. It is the strict domestic violence rules and laws that the case is where it is. You say the kids are young so probably haven't been married more than 10 years?? Spousal support isn't a given unlike child support that is set in stone. If your ex is looking after the kids full time right now and working full time and makes more money struggling to be a single parent at the moment you will NOT get spousal support. Did you give up a career to stay home and look after the children previously? Is there opportunity for you to make more working another job part time? I wouldn't even go down that spousal support road right now. If you get to a point where the criminal issues are sorted out and you then begin the separation agreement and the division of property etc then maybe try to use it as a leverage tool but the fact that she makes $40k isn't a deciding factor in SS. You have what appears to be a low-mid range length of marriage and you are most likely under 40 years of age doesn't make a good argument for spousal support. I would leave it alone altogether. If you stayed home with kids and sacrificed your career over the last few years to care for the kids I would say most definitely but once the criminal case is over. I would concentrate on your relationship with the kids right now. You say you are allowed to contact kids now but they are young. What does that mean? Take them out for the day or night or weekend or whatever you and the ex can agree on. Distancing yourself looks bad for family law issues/custody down the road.