buyout vs suffering for years

[arabian]

Hope you are using spread sheets supported by documentation. You certainly do not have to respond to every point your ex has stated. You can simply state N/A - not applicable or not relevant. This is where your lawyer comes in - to point out to you what is relevant at this stage of your litigation. You are actually at a pre-litigation stage but everything you put in writing is there for the duration so you have to be very careful.

I'm sure my questions will be somewhat annoying to you. I was married for 30 years and full partner with my husband. I know many people who were divorcing who were wealthy. Most of them settled out-of-court/privately. Others went through horrendous, lengthy litigation where the only winners were the lawyers. You weren't married long. Look at a step-down spousal support arrangement. Judges like it (even in my case of a long-term marriage). Judges want to be seen as "fair" so nobody every really wins, except on costs awards when one party is totally unreasonable.

[Kkc]

I want to settle and get on with my life. I'll either do step down or hopefully use the fact that she will have minimal cash to buy a house as leverage for a buy out. I would like this to be done and doing so in a way where she is forced back to work...my kids need to see their mom working hard. You r not being annoying it's obviously high anxiety for me and r helpful actuslly

[arabian]

No her family has not made claims
I finished training in 2014. We were married in 2013 had our daughter 2012. I have a CA who does it for me and he was my neighbor growing up

You're a relative newbie. Fortunately. Good you have a CA. Your wife hasn't been out of work for too long then. That is a good thing. It shouldn't be too difficult for her to become self-sufficient. Of course she will always benefit via child support (which will be substantial in the years to come as your practice expands). Your lawyer will talk to you about importance of establishing a review after a few years. This is a good thing for everyone because it is an opportunity for you to hold her accountable for job search activities.

[Kkc]

I'm maxed on income potential. Practice can only get smaller

[arabian]

You can't force someone to work.
You impute income.
A step-down approach is something like this:

year 1 (take Sept 1 separation date) - income imputed 35k
Year 2 - income imputed 45k
Year 3 - Income imputed 60k (review date?)
Year 4 - Income imputed 70k

Obviously I don't know what an RN makes in Ontario. Would seem logical that first years' income reflects what a receptionist at a medical/dental clinic would make - whatever that is.

The review is to your benefit. If you don't have a review (let's postulate that your ex is not doing anything to upgrade or look for employment or has moved in with a rich dude), the only way you can change your agreement is to prove a "material change of circumstances" which can be very difficult, lengthy and expensive. With a review you don't have to do that. A specific review date, along with a specific end date of support, are two key elements in your agreement.

So now you will see why you don't want to disparage your wife in your brief. Correct? You want to spout her virtues and excellence as a worker.... If you have a resume of hers (and a letter she used in past to apply for jobs) then that is very, very important. Also, you want to somewhere in there state how physically fit she is and how great her health is (she is an active and loving mother). Too often people focus on the negatives because they are very bitter but don't realize the long-term impact.

Your wife is brilliant and gifted and has a fantastic future ahead of her. You extol her abilities to do an excellent job in your clinic.

Others may disagree with me on this, but this is the approach I would take in your situation. IT also looks really good on you when you deal with child custody matters. Never a good thing to appear to be disparaging or mean about your wife/ex. I would think that your brief should have a part that actually identifies your wife's career/academic achievements.

My ex made a huge mistake by not bringing up my career (prior and during our marriage) in our divorce. He didn't ask for or present my resume. I'm kinda not surprised though as my accomplishments meant nothing to him. One would think that his hot-shot lawyer wouldn't have missed this though.... Details matter.

[Tayken]

Hire a lawyer. Really. Your income provides for you to have proper legal counsel.