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  • stopping CS

    asking for a friend

    child turned 18 in May still in high school but now graduated. Child is tight-lipped on what her plans are. Mom already has told her either she goes to school, gets a job or can go live with Dad when she was done high school. Same rules apply at his house, job or school.

    contacted Fro who contacted other parent about stopping CS. Fro got back and said they cannot do anything.

    He is going to see a lawyer to do a motion to change ASAP. I think he will use his old lawyer. Yes he could probably do it himself but he is dealing with other family issues right now so he feels paying a lawyer will make sure it all gets done right the first time.

    I noticed on the FRO website there is a form to discontinue enforcement of support and lets you give the reasons why. Should he fill this out now to have enforcement stopped till it gets before a judge? Can he even do that when there is no court date yet? He knows he will have to go to court to get this resolved but wants to make sure that the payments to the ex stop till it is resolved so he doesnt have to worry about trying to get any overpayment back. He will be banking the money in case there is proof that the child will be continuing with their education. He just wants proof.

    If he should fill it out now, can he fax it to fro instead of mailing it?

    Can he ask for his lawyer costs if this goes to court? I have a feeling that once his ex sees he has lawyered up she may agree with CS being stopped so maybe if he can get costs if she doesnt agree, it may make her think twice about it.



    thanks

  • #2
    A) he can fill out the form and send it to FRO but she can tell them kid is in school. Not sure how they go about getting proof but its worth a shot.

    B) he will need to do a motion to change and it is to stop child support. Be prepared for the following: a dispute resolution conference, a case conference and possible another conference before a settlement conference. He should advise his lawyer to be aggressive.

    His ex may get scared or she could tell the kid to enroll in additional classes. My partners kids took a victory lap that he had to pay for. However its best to get the ball rolling in the interim.

    Comment


    • #3
      Is that normal that one pays child support if child takes a year off between high school and uni? What if child is working or just being a bum, or traveling, is it different? I assumed child support would stop for that year, but then resume if child went back to school a year later.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
        A) he can fill out the form and send it to FRO but she can tell them kid is in school. Not sure how they go about getting proof but its worth a shot.

        B) he will need to do a motion to change and it is to stop child support. Be prepared for the following: a dispute resolution conference, a case conference and possible another conference before a settlement conference. He should advise his lawyer to be aggressive.

        His ex may get scared or she could tell the kid to enroll in additional classes. My partners kids took a victory lap that he had to pay for. However its best to get the ball rolling in the interim.
        thanks for the information. I told him three months ago to the ball rolling so it would all be settled as soon as she was done school. Unfortunately there was a major family thing happen at the start of the year and his side of the family has been in upheaval for the most of this year.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by denbigh View Post
          Is that normal that one pays child support if child takes a year off between high school and uni? What if child is working or just being a bum, or traveling, is it different? I assumed child support would stop for that year, but then resume if child went back to school a year later.
          For some reason I think that I have read somewhere that it does get stopped then resumes. I know in this case the father would love if the child took a year off to work (never had a summer job despite living in a larger city) just to get some life experience, mature and to figure out what she wants to do. Then he would have no problem starting up revised CS.

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          • #6
            I think there is some value in taking a bit of time and returning in a year or 2, might prevent the waste of figuring out what you really want to do and swtiching programs, and growing up a bit

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            • #7
              Originally posted by denbigh View Post
              I think there is some value in taking a bit of time and returning in a year or 2, might prevent the waste of figuring out what you really want to do and swtiching programs, and growing up a bit


              I actually agree with this... I took a program that I regret now and itís totally opposite than the field I ended up in... itís hard at 18 to know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life.

              That being said, the child should be working for that time off and Cs shouldnít be payable


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                I actually agree with this... I took a program that I regret now and itís totally opposite than the field I ended up in... itís hard at 18 to know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life.

                That being said, the child should be working for that time off and Cs shouldnít be payable


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


                Our lawyer said judges donít like to punish kids so cs is payable if they are in school. This can be taken advantage of if the kids takes one or two classes.

                There are plenty of bridge programs now for kids to figure stuff out. Taking time off is good for some kids but if a parent lets their kids grow and mature (instead of doing everything for them)
                they will be ready for school at 18. Its the parents who have their kids take a year off to get more cs and milk the system that I have a problem with.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                  A) he can fill out the form and send it to FRO but she can tell them kid is in school. Not sure how they go about getting proof but its worth a shot.

                  B) he will need to do a motion to change and it is to stop child support. Be prepared for the following: a dispute resolution conference, a case conference and possible another conference before a settlement conference. He should advise his lawyer to be aggressive.

                  His ex may get scared or she could tell the kid to enroll in additional classes. My partners kids took a victory lap that he had to pay for. However its best to get the ball rolling in the interim.
                  I am thinking she feels he will just let it go. He is a bit of a procrastinator sometimes. I feel that if she gets a strongly worded letter from a lawyer that may be the end of it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                    Our lawyer said judges donít like to punish kids so cs is payable if they are in school. This can be taken advantage of if the kids takes one or two classes.

                    There are plenty of bridge programs now for kids to figure stuff out. Taking time off is good for some kids but if a parent lets their kids grow and mature (instead of doing everything for them)
                    they will be ready for school at 18. Its the parents who have their kids take a year off to get more cs and milk the system that I have a problem with.


                    I would have to disagree... some kids might be ready at 18 and being mature enough to be able to go to post secondary is one thing but knowing what you want to do with the next 50 years of your working life is another. There are many people who are not working in their field of study or have gone back as adults because what they thought was for them at 18 isnít what they wanted to do long term... 18 is so young to be forced to make such a life king choice.

                    Iím not talking about Cs when I say this, I just think young adults would benefit from a couple years work/volunteer experience to figure out what they truly want to do


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                    • #11
                      well his lawyer sent his ex a letter saying that he wanted her to consent to stopping CS. Well after she got the letter the child calls and says she got accepted into a local college. The next day the mother sends a letter with child stating what the expenses are and her expectation that he will pay it all due to the fact he makes more. Mind you there was no reciepts etc, just a list made out by her.

                      The list included things like food, parking for a car in case she ever takes her mothers to school and some other questionable stuff that is just listed as necessities.

                      The child is staying at home and can use public transportation. Plus she only has her G1 licence so wouldnt be able to take the car on her own anyways.

                      Its apparently a 3 year co-op program.

                      To me it seems fishy that she sent this after being contacted by his lawyer. There was nothing in the letter from her about grants etc, no receipts showing what has been paid or even an acceptance letter.

                      From my understanding

                      1. she has to have actual receipts etc to prove what was paid.

                      2. if she wants to claim this under a sec7 then she has to provide her income.

                      3. the amount he is responsible for his his proportionate share after the grants
                      are applied as the childs one third share.

                      4. the mother will be able to claim tuition on her income tax so he pays on the
                      after tax amount.

                      5, he shouldnt be responsible for food as he is already paying full CS.

                      6. he covers child under his benefits at work (not sure if the mother does) so he shouldnt have to pay for school health coverage

                      He will be taking the letter to his lawyer and going from there. If she doesnt provide receipts will he have an easier time of getting CS stopped? He knows he will have to go to court either way so he is going to tell his lawyer not to waste time and get it in front of a judge.

                      If this is some sort of game by the ex to keep support going for a bit longer, can he get the overpaid CS back? The child never told him she applied for any school. After the mother is contacted by lawyer child calls father to say she was accepted and mother sends the list with her the next day.

                      thanks for your input.

                      another question...he pays through FRO, is there a way to halt them from giving her money until this is settled? He knows that she wouldnt voluntary pay back any overages in case CS is suppose to stop.
                      Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 08-05-2018, 08:58 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        First, if he goes to a judge she will need to respond with documentation on the acceptance, tuition PAID and book receipts. If shes living at home he only pays his proportionate share of the net cost of tuition and books. If she wants food at schoolómom can give her money. If she wants to drive to schoolómom can give her money. If she wants anything else covered by csómom can give her money. She cant simply send him a letter with what she thinks he owes and that wont fly in court so good luck to her.

                        As for FRO, if his order says child support stops at 22 (or another age) he can call and ask them to review that clause and stop cs. If it simply says following the first degree or until they are no long full time, hes sol. He would fill out a form to stop cs but fro will still enforce as the mom can simply say she disagrees. He will need an order to stop cs.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          First, if he goes to a judge she will need to respond with documentation on the acceptance, tuition PAID and book receipts. If shes living at home he only pays his proportionate share of the net cost of tuition and books. If she wants food at schoolómom can give her money. If she wants to drive to schoolómom can give her money. If she wants anything else covered by csómom can give her money. She cant simply send him a letter with what she thinks he owes and that wont fly in court so good luck to her.

                          As for FRO, if his order says child support stops at 22 (or another age) he can call and ask them to review that clause and stop cs. If it simply says following the first degree or until they are no long full time, hes sol. He would fill out a form to stop cs but fro will still enforce as the mom can simply say she disagrees. He will need an order to stop cs.
                          he had a bad lawyer, there wasnt a termination date. I wish I would of known him then, I could of directed him to this board to get information.

                          The child never expressed interest to go to college. He is thinking she may under pressure from the mother. Is there a way to make sure he sees grades etc or proof that she isnt failing? She is a smart girl who was an honor roll student all through high school.

                          I was looking at the OSAP website and according to it she may qualify for free tuition. If I entered the numbers correctly. He isnt sure what his ex makes but he figured it was around 30000. The calculator jumps from 30k to 50k but is just an estimator. From the way I understood it, the mother has to add the CS to her income but his income isnt included (not 50/50 even though he tried) If she gets free tuition then he would off the hook for that? If it covers most of the tuition then isn't the daughter responsible for applying?

                          I have a feeling she applied and got everything paid but mom wants dad to pay as if it wasnt covered hence no proper receipts.

                          can he deal more with the legal assistant at the law firm to reduce costs? I am not sure if they are able to fill out forms etc.

                          Does he have to have a case conference or can it go straight to court? He had a trial before for parenting time etc years ago.

                          now for the part he is more worried about. He got dinging pretty good last time when the child was younger to be able to parent his child. I know that this will be handled by a motion. Would if be a long motion or a short motion and approximate costs. What is the time frame to get the motion heard? I know every area is different but just a general guess would be great.

                          Thanks

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            stopping CS

                            I went back and reread...

                            He needs to respond that he requires the following documents:

                            A statement from osap what she was awarded.
                            A statement/invoice from the school for her tuition requirements.
                            Receipts for all her books.
                            Proof of the exís income via her tax forms and notice of assessment.

                            He can then tell her he is not responsible for the additional costs as they are covered by child support and not considered extraordinary or required for a post secondary education.

                            Once he gets that, then we can help figure it out. Until she provides it, can sit and ignore. He should give the heads up that if the child is not in school then he will seek repayment with interest.
                            Last edited by rockscan; 08-05-2018, 01:41 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              she just completed high school this past June. Has never worked at a summer job. Her mother told her (she told her father) that either she gets a job, goes back to school or she can move in with her father.

                              All that was told to him that its a co-op business course that lasts 3 years. I pulled up the website for the college and she could get all the amounts she wrote down on the paper. She also put down a little over 1400 just for books. Parking is 502 for the year (for a child who doesnt have her own car and there is no second car but mother says she may take the car occasionally, the lot does have a 10 daily parking fee for occasional drivers)

                              He wouldnt do good to represent himself, he doesnt throw mud but he is so jaded by the whole system as I feel most non-coustodial parents are that he feels defeated. He is so mentally drained by all this. He was hoping CS would be done but now he is looking at court again.

                              I have a feeling that OSAP covered it all and she is trying to get away with trying to get him to pay based on the full amount. Heck part of me even thinks the child isnt enrolled and that she is trying to drag this out to keep the support coming.

                              Thanks again.

                              Comment

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