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  • Impact of infidelity on financial settlement

    I am starting to go through the first round of negotiating to reach a separation agreement with my (soon to be ex)-wife.

    On the issue of separation of assets, I am looking for some input. Before the marriage I had been a hard working individual for some 20 years and so had accumulated some assets.
    My wife had spent the first part of her adult life in less finacially secure pursuits. Net result, when we married she had basically no assets to speak of.

    During our 11 year marriage we continued to accumulate assets. Now that we are separating, she has said that she has no intent of paying me any equalization payment to compensate for the assets I brought to the marriage as per the formula.
    She says because I had an affair 10 months ago that I owed her for her pain & suffering. The way she positioned this sounded like she had received this advice from her lawyer (but I am not sure of that).



    So my question is this: I thought Ontario was a "no-fault" divorce jurisdiction. If so would the fact that someone had an affair during the course of the marriage influence the disposition of assets at separation?

    Any input appreciated.

  • #2
    wondering50:


    I am not a lawyer, nor have I had any legal training, so perhaps someone else may be more qualified to answer your question.

    It is my understanding that who did what to whom (including infidelity) during the marriage has no bearing on the equalization of property. Both parties are required to prepare Financial Statements and the value of any property purchased during the marriage is divided equally. Any property each party brought into the marriage is an allowable deduction. I don't know about other provinces, but the exception to that rule in Ontario is the matrimonial home. If one party owned the home on the date of marriage, he or she cannot deduct its value, and the value on the date of separation is split equally between both spouses.

    As far as divorce is concerned, I believe one party can file after a year of separation, and grounds are not necessary.

    Linda

    Comment


    • #3
      Managed to work out the financial arrangment with the wife. Basically, I agreed to give up on the equalization side and she agreed to drop demands for any child or spousal support.

      Does anyone know if she can get such an agreement overturned later if she decides to pursue either child or spousal?

      Comment


      • #4
        Careful

        You may want to investigate a bit further especially in regards to the child support.

        I was under the impression that spousal support payments were negotiable and an agreement to waive this in exchange for other assets was allowed, (and fairly common). However, I thought that child support was not negotiable, meaning no bartering for other assets, and that even lump sum payments for child support is not looked upon favourably. The preferred method is monthly payments, which over the years can be altered depending upon the financial position of the parent. Make sure it's OK otherwise you may end up in court paying for a few years of child support you thought you had cut a deal on!

        I also don't think the "pain & suffering" has anything to do with splitting assets. The pain is real and so is the suffering but it means nothing in regards to property split. Fairness and deserve don't come into play here, however if you can both agreee on something you each consider to be fair then that would be the best scenario for all involved.

        Comment


        • #5
          child support

          child support is non negotiable.......its not money to your ex its money for your children.......in essence its the childrens money to support them not your ex........you cannot deny a child the financial side of the house because you & your spouse decide to split ways.......thats is not anyones call.....thats their birth right so to speak........if you were to go into a family courthouse and state that you werent paying CS that could be seen as abandonment (financially)......dont put yourself in the light in the courts eyes.....not a good place to be.....can take a long time to get to court then the judge can impose backorder for all support owing and give you a certain amount of time to clear it up........usually less than 1 year to clear it up......back to orginal thought though DO NOT deny your children of support.......you are not denying your ex you are denying your children.....food for thought

          Comment


          • #6
            Assets for child support

            Westwood - thanks for your comments.

            While researching the subject I can accross a reference to Haggith v. Trader which seemed to my admittedly uneducated (at least in legalese) mind to confirm the fact that one could in fact barter other assets for child support in a lump sum for future years.

            Interested in any comment anyone might have...



            Originally posted by westwood
            You may want to investigate a bit further especially in regards to the child support.

            I was under the impression that spousal support payments were negotiable and an agreement to waive this in exchange for other assets was allowed, (and fairly common). However, I thought that child support was not negotiable, meaning no bartering for other assets, and that even lump sum payments for child support is not looked upon favourably. The preferred method is monthly payments, which over the years can be altered depending upon the financial position of the parent. Make sure it's OK otherwise you may end up in court paying for a few years of child support you thought you had cut a deal on!

            I also don't think the "pain & suffering" has anything to do with splitting assets. The pain is real and so is the suffering but it means nothing in regards to property split. Fairness and deserve don't come into play here, however if you can both agreee on something you each consider to be fair then that would be the best scenario for all involved.

            Comment


            • #7
              littleman,

              Probably should have made it clear that the STBX wife is very well employed with a steady salary, great benefits and one of the richest pension plans in Canada.

              I, on the other hand work on contracts which means sometimes there is money coming in and sometimes there is zero coming in.

              We will have shared custody 50/50 and share the children's expense's equally. I don't feel this is about supporting the children at all. It is more about what extra she can squeeze out of me.

              I have no intention whatsoever of the children lacking anything as long as I have the means to provide it.



              Originally posted by littleman
              child support is non negotiable.......its not money to your ex its money for your children.......in essence its the childrens money to support them not your ex........you cannot deny a child the financial side of the house because you & your spouse decide to split ways.......thats is not anyones call.....thats their birth right so to speak........if you were to go into a family courthouse and state that you werent paying CS that could be seen as abandonment (financially)......dont put yourself in the light in the courts eyes.....not a good place to be.....can take a long time to get to court then the judge can impose backorder for all support owing and give you a certain amount of time to clear it up........usually less than 1 year to clear it up......back to orginal thought though DO NOT deny your children of support.......you are not denying your ex you are denying your children.....food for thought

              Comment


              • #8
                In a shared custody arrangement the CS is calculated for both parents and the difference is paid to the parent with the lesser income.

                ie: Calculate what she would have to pay you, calculate what you would pay her and find the difference. Whoever makes less gets the difference. Which by the sounds of it could be you.

                The guidelines are available on line.

                I would be VERY wary of accepting a lump sum payment.

                Comment


                • #9
                  While there may always be exceptions, my understanding (again, I'm not a lawyer) is that if you negotiate something other than "table" amounts for child support, there is nothing to stop your ex from changing her mind and going to back to court. In all likelihood the court will reimpose "table" amounts even if you gave her a lump sum in lieu of. Bottom line, DON"T give a lump sum amount for child support. Odds are good she can blow it on whatever and can come back at you for "table amounts" and likely win. As noted earlier, given 50/50 child custody, if she makes more than you odds are good she will have to pay YOU child support. For example, if on her salary she has to pay $1500 a month, and your salary indicates $500 a month, she will have to pay YOU $1,000 a month. Good luck !

                  Comment

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