being a male, will possibly get spousal support

[arabian]

Give it up Trinton. I'm not telling anyone to pursue or not to pursue entitlement for SS. I'm merely pointing out that it would be logical to weigh costs against benefit.

I could care less about gender. Interesting that you always end up arguing gender bias on pretty much anything.... It's really quite predictable.

[cashcow4ex]

In general, you're entitled to what you had before the marriage. You split what you got, as a couple, during the marriage.

The exception is the family home which gets split 50/50, no matter if one partner owned it before the marriage, no matter who paid more or less of the mortgage.

Just out of curiosity,
What advice could I share with both my children to protect themselves in the event that they are home owners before a marriage of any kind occurs? If my children enter a marriage owning their own home then that investment/equity is theirs and theirs alone and needs be protected.

[mcdreamy]

Just out of curiosity,
What advice could I share with both my children to protect themselves in the event that they are home owners before a marriage of any kind occurs? If my children enter a marriage owning their own home then that investment/equity is theirs and theirs alone and needs be protected.

1. They sell their house, put the cash into their own investment to be kept separate in their own savings plan, and purchase a home for the new relationship, with equal downpayments coming from both parties.

2. The incoming partner pays one-half of the equity to the owner, and title is transferred into both names, as joint tenants; the owner tucks the one-half equity away into their own investment plan, to be kept separate;

3. A cohabitation agreement, with ILA.

Option#1 is the cleanest.

[cashcow4ex]

Thanks Mcdreamy...that is sound advice

[Rioe]

Or not and just divide everything pproperly and she could pay him SS based on the $50k/year difference in salary..

It doesn't matter how you divide equalization up, as long as both people end with the same increase in net worth. I picked $50k as a random amount there, not because it was the difference in their salaries. Who knows how their spreadsheet will fall out between them? The point is that you can mix and match who gets what asset; it's just the total value that gets equalized.

why should the female come out here with higher standard of living at the end of this all given her higher salary?

The higher income person should come out with a higher standard of living at the end of this. That's how capitalism works. Gender is irrelevant.

There should only be SS if his income was reduced from what it could have been because of the marriage, or if her income is increased from what it could have been because of the marriage.

Otherwise, the lower income person benefited from the higher income person's financial partnership during the marriage. This is reflected in the greater amount of assets they both walk away with. When the marriage ends, they should both be expected to be on their own again after that.

SS is ridiculous in this day and age. Young people should be expected to support themselves.

[Tayken]

Give it up Trinton. I'm not telling anyone to pursue or not to pursue entitlement for SS. I'm merely pointing out that it would be logical to weigh costs against benefit.

I could care less about gender. Interesting that you always end up arguing gender bias on pretty much anything.... It's really quite predictable.

[jays2017]

update...saw a lawyer yesterday ..first concerning the spousal support,,thinks i would get it...mind you i was blown away of the cost to pursue..so many stages at 5000 a pop..most settle at the 20000 stage..could go up to 80000..so dont think i can pursue that...as well joint custody 50-50 shared would get close to 500 a month...

[Rioe]

update...saw a lawyer yesterday ..first concerning the spousal support,,thinks i would get it...mind you i was blown away of the cost to pursue..so many stages at 5000 a pop..most settle at the 20000 stage..could go up to 80000..so dont think i can pursue that...as well joint custody 50-50 shared would get close to 500 a month...

First try to come up with a fair and balanced agreement with your ex, before letting the lawyers take over the process. You could ask for SS as a tactic, and then 'cave in' during the negotiation process if you get other stuff you want more.

Look online for sample agreements and adapt them to your situation, then once you agree on everything, then each of you brings it to lawyers for a final look. If your ex is amenable to discussion, do that first.

[kate331]

You could ask for SS as a tactic, and then 'cave in' during the negotiation process if you get other stuff you want more.

That's what my lawyer suggested I do. Ask for everything, then settle in the middle.

[arabian]

Pleased to know that you talked about the money with the lawyer. Some can justify going for it, others can't.

Too many people (men and women) start litigation without any idea of how much it will cost them and then they end up on here bitching about their bills and refusing to negotiate.

At least you know that we didn't exaggerate the costs to you.

All the best with whatever decision you make.

[rockscan]

"Thinks" you would get it and he was honest about costs.

You need to decide what is more important to you: saving 50 grand in legal fees or getting $400 a month for five years. The amount and length of ss is not worth the legal cost.

Right now the most important thing you need to focus on is your child and making sure you have equal time as a parent. You can find a reasonable two bedroom apartment in Mississauga (I know, I have been there) and parent your child until they head off to university. You will probably find a new partner and your lifestyle will change again. You wont lose the debt for the fight though.

Work amicably with your stbx, get your financials in order, look at managing your life on the income you have and go from there.

There are plenty of cases for costs on canlii where judges rap the knuckles of both parents who squandered money that could have been spent on their kids. Dont be that parent. Its not worth it.

[jays2017]

really appreciated all the responses
- do they have online where you fill the numbers for a financial report..of what you make assets etc..thanks for seperation
- also do you have to disclose on the financial report with your pension amount...
if so...if wife agrees not to go for pension maybe for something as i trade off, is that ok...

finally today wife asks if want to buy a townhouse together in our neighbourhood close to my sons school as an investment..im sure its for one of us to move there..but whatever she is thinking is it a bad idea to buy another property with her..also would this benefit me in anyway financially
thanks

[standing on the sidelines]

really appreciated all the responses
- do they have online where you fill the numbers for a financial report..of what you make assets etc..thanks for seperation
- also do you have to disclose on the financial report with your pension amount...
if so...if wife agrees not to go for pension maybe for something as i trade off, is that ok...

finally today wife asks if want to buy a townhouse together in our neighbourhood close to my sons school as an investment..im sure its for one of us to move there..but whatever she is thinking is it a bad idea to buy another property with her..also would this benefit me in anyway financially
thanks

you have to put everything on the financial report. How you decide to split it later is another matter. The report is just to get a complete picture of the assets and debts of each party.

I wouldnt buy a townhouse with her, it could get messy later. The whole idea is to separate finances etc. She probably cannot afford to buy the townhouse on her own so she wants your help to do it. NOT A GOOD IDEA.

[arabian]

Presumably you live in Ontario so you go online to obtain financial statement:

Family Law Rules Forms | Ontario Court Services - yes you can fill in the blanks.

I would strongly discourage you to financially encumber yourself with your ex. Someday your ex very well may be with another man - do you want to have a financial connection with your ex's new husband? It would be in your best interest for your ex to seek advice from her own financial adviser.