Legal aid and ex awarded costs in exceeds of 11k

[Janus]

the judges are out to destroy fammily lives as with lawyers ,my ex ran up a 11k legal aid bill without a job or one that she admitted too

Offhand, $11,000 as a legal bill for a trial seems to be fairly low. Sounds like legal aid was very cost effective. If your ex had paid for her lawyer, you could have been on the hook for substantially more.

Note that I think legal aid is broken, and unfair to those who have to fight against it. However, in this case, the $11k is small potatoes.

so i should just rollover and pay for an ex that cant look after herself while i struggle daily to keep a roof over my kids head

You tried not rolling over, it cost you $11k. Rolling over might not be fair, but it is likely cheaper.

I am currently trying to refinance my house to pay off her debts to legal aid and an equalization payment(this one i agree to a point.)

You own a house? Things can get a lot worse for you. You haven't hit rock bottom just yet.

[standing on the sidelines]

stop blaming the system and the judge. You yourself said that you were not prepared when it went to trial. It is your own fault that you did as bad as you did so own up to that and deal with the consequences.

Yes you may have to downsize, yes the kids may have to work to help pay the bills but just worry about what you have to do and not the ex. This is the hand you were dealt (by not having legal representation or being prepared) so now you have to deal with the fallout from it.

Yes if you were female and the same thing happened my advice would be the same.

[lplp]

When i first started on this forum ,i thought is was for males only ,newfie71 opened my eyes up big time ,i was wondering why i wasnt getting responses like the other ones.

I completly agree with my new best friend and his beliefs,the judges are out to destroy fammily lives as with lawyers ,my ex ran up a 11k legal aid bill without a job or one that she admitted too,how does the govermment allow that ,oh the tax payors ,wonder if everyone knows that.

abrain you say i should lower my standard of living and charge my kids rent while they go to college,so i should just rollover and pay for an ex that cant look after herself while i struggle daily to keep a roof over my kids head ,i want the best for my kids while my ex sits there and complains that she doesnt have enough money to live on,she is in the ontario works system,room and board etc ,i find it disgusting and to have a judge do this to me and everyone else out there in a situation like this ,more and more males take on the kids ,i have about five male friends that do this and have the same problems while there exs live off the spoils of there mates that they didnt want to stay with.

I also wish i would of left a lot earlier ,but stayed together for the kids ,what a mistake and dont suggest that to anyone ,just helps the ex ,to not do anything,.

Mind you i do know single mothers that are doing great and not living off the system and looking after there kids ,MINE DIDDNT.

I struggle everyday to keeep a house over there heads ,but the ex keeps on getting free services to keep the crap going,,

I am currently trying to refinance my house to pay off her debts to legal aid and an equalization payment(this one i agree to a point.)

It kills me to see my pension split every month for something that i worked for

It kills me to see ss each month

I will work as best i can to support a non functioning human ,even towards the kids.yes that is true.

Sorry about the rant ,all the best to the dads and my best freind newfie76.lol

[arabian]

LOL Really? You got it half right...I pay today, yes that's right. But I also paid yesterday as well. The entire time I was with my ex I paid....I paid when she quit her work because she was pregnant....I paid every time she went to the mall, every time she traveled down south, every time her back hurt from doing nothing, every time she was bored, every time I took parental leave in hopes she would find work or go to school..every time she saw the snow fall.. oh I paid. And because I made one simple mistake and fell in love....she is allowed to live life not worrying that her boss is pleased of her quality of work, or that the car will start to get her to work, or where her next cheque will come from....no she hit the lottery....just like every women that receives SS or CS. Yes even CS!!

If the law were fair...and every one were responsible for their own well being before, during and after marriage....it would be the woman paying the man for every day they lived stress free from the daily grind of everyday life during the marriage. What a life!


Blaming the country for something I agreed to? NOPE! Never agreed to take care a woman that cheated on me multiple times. Nope! Never agreed to being a financial slave to a woman that hit me over and over, once cutting my head with a breaking plate. Nope. I never agreed to the mental torture of being yelled at each day. Nope. I never agreed to the life time of struggling to pay over half my income to this same women. Nope.

When your young, in love and you see what a wonderful life your parents had married....you get married....and have kids....never would someone think of divorce when they are in love. That argument feminists make is weak and lame...."you agreed to it"...Nope.

Its only eye opening for men when Canadian law opens it for them. Its too late by then. Hence, why over 60,000 men in Canada have already jumped to MGTOW..."take care yourself and NOT the woman".

What is lame is taking money from someone that actually earned it, went to school prior to marriage, earned an education that led to a successful career and was at the height of his career when first married. IMO....there is no excuses...just cold hearted, LAZY, opportunists that crave the security of being taken care of. And they use the law to their advantage. Shameful. Less than 3% of CS/SS entitled men take any payment from their ex. 3%!!!! Why is that? Think about that fact long and hard!

This kind of describes what happened to me but not in the way you would presume - I went to school prior to marriage and had a successful career. Throughout the last 20 years of our 30-year marriage my ex gladly accepted the never-ending stream of money from me to finance our business. Now my ex lives with a woman (10 years younger than him who was/is married to someone else for over 30 years) who opts to live off of my ex as opposed to getting SS from her ex. She has never worked a day in her life.

I made a poor decision to marry this guy. I made an even worse decision to stay with him all those years. Had I gotten out early in the marriage (as I had contemplated at one time) I would most certainly be in a much better financial position and likely would have retired by now. I too grew up in an intact family that valued commitment and honor. To divorce my ex was a decision I did not make hastily. I just made the decision way too late.

We are all responsible for the decisions we make in life. No one else is to blame for our respective lot in life. Living the rest of your life with gut-wrenching regret and bitterness simply isn't healthy. You have to accept the outcome of your decisions and move on as best you can. Blaming others for your decisions of the past is futile.

[Newfie76]

You pay today for the good times of yesterday. You knowingly agreed to a relationship where your ex was not working outside of the home. You are your own worst enemy. Blaming "the country" for something you intentionally agreed to in your past is lame IMO.

LOL Really? You got it half right...I pay today, yes that's right. But I also paid yesterday as well. The entire time I was with my ex I paid....I paid when she quit her work because she was pregnant....I paid every time she went to the mall, every time she traveled down south, every time her back hurt from doing nothing, every time she was bored, every time I took parental leave in hopes she would find work or go to school..every time she saw the snow fall.. oh I paid. And because I made one simple mistake and fell in love....she is allowed to live life not worrying that her boss is pleased of her quality of work, or that the car will start to get her to work, or where her next cheque will come from....no she hit the lottery....just like every women that receives SS or CS. Yes even CS!!

If the law were fair...and every one were responsible for their own well being before, during and after marriage....it would be the woman paying the man for every day they lived stress free from the daily grind of everyday life during the marriage. What a life!


Blaming the country for something I agreed to? NOPE! Never agreed to take care a woman that cheated on me multiple times. Nope! Never agreed to being a financial slave to a woman that hit me over and over, once cutting my head with a breaking plate. Nope. I never agreed to the mental torture of being yelled at each day. Nope. I never agreed to the life time of struggling to pay over half my income to this same women. Nope.

When your young, in love and you see what a wonderful life your parents had married....you get married....and have kids....never would someone think of divorce when they are in love. That argument feminists make is weak and lame...."you agreed to it"...Nope.

Its only eye opening for men when Canadian law opens it for them. Its too late by then. Hence, why over 60,000 men in Canada have already jumped to MGTOW..."take care yourself and NOT the woman".

What is lame is taking money from someone that actually earned it, went to school prior to marriage, earned an education that led to a successful career and was at the height of his career when first married. IMO....there is no excuses...just cold hearted, LAZY, opportunists that crave the security of being taken care of. And they use the law to their advantage. Shameful. Less than 3% of CS/SS entitled men take any payment from their ex. 3%!!!! Why is that? Think about that fact long and hard!

[arabian]

Completely shameful....I feel so sorry for your situation your in. Divorce for men in Canada is a death sentence....the Laws favor the women's position 98% of the time. Not much we as men can do about that. Its the law.

The advise you received has not been much help either...keep in mind the advice mostly came from women that have already taken advantage of the law to live off the income of someone else's hard-work. They are entitled...the law does imply every divorced women is entitled to a salve that earns them a life time of money. Imagine if the charter of rights said "every individual is legally responsible to take care of themselves financially, including their share of the children....before, during and after marriage....." wow what a different and fair world we would live in today.


I would take the advice of the CS. YOU ARE ENTITLED!! Law does state CS MUST be paid by 1 of the parents.....Shame on the judge to protect the woman again...surprise Go for child support and back date.

The legal aid was a shock for me though. Again maybe its because I was raised that everyone takes care of themselves....but in Canada the man is the slave of the woman thus must pay for legal expenses, even at 100%, for a woman that no longer has a relation to him? The country is FXXXXX!!

You pay today for the good times of yesterday. You knowingly agreed to a relationship where your ex was not working outside of the home. You are your own worst enemy. Blaming "the country" for something you intentionally agreed to in your past is lame IMO.

Yes, if the poster is entitled to child support then he should pursue it. Better to be proactive than nonactive and whine.

[Newfie76]

Completely shameful....I feel so sorry for your situation your in. Divorce for men in Canada is a death sentence....the Laws favor the women's position 98% of the time. Not much we as men can do about that. Its the law.

The advise you received has not been much help either...keep in mind the advice mostly came from women that have already taken advantage of the law to live off the income of someone else's hard-work. They are entitled...the law does imply every divorced women is entitled to a salve that earns them a life time of money. Imagine if the charter of rights said "every individual is legally responsible to take care of themselves financially, including their share of the children....before, during and after marriage....." wow what a different and fair world we would live in today.


I would take the advice of the CS. YOU ARE ENTITLED!! Law does state CS MUST be paid by 1 of the parents.....Shame on the judge to protect the woman again...surprise Go for child support and back date.

The legal aid was a shock for me though. Again maybe its because I was raised that everyone takes care of themselves....but in Canada the man is the slave of the woman thus must pay for legal expenses, even at 100%, for a woman that no longer has a relation to him? The country is FXXXXX!!

[ross_toronto]

Your ex should be paying child support. You should ask for it.

[mcdreamy]

I'm under the impression that a claim for financial hardship is a difficult claim to make.

In fact, I'm not sure I've ever seen a poster here be successful in such a claim - anyone?

[standing on the sidelines]

maybe its time to sell the house and rent an apartment somewhere or ask your kid to help out with the bills. They can go to college and work part time, lots of kid do it and in fact some work full time and go to school on top of it.

you said you couldn't work due to a back injury so I am sure that even the normal property maintenance must be harder for you. Easier on your health and pocket to downsize. You may have to move to another area where the rent is cheaper.

You have many options, it all depends on how desperate you are.

[lplp]

I cant claim bankruptcy,as i own my house,trying to work with them but just find it rude ,i do only live on my pension which is not much now,i can afford my mortgage and pay bills but that is it, i have 2 options ,one to sell house and go nowhere and the kids have no place to live either or see about a equity loan which i am finding out about ,not good credit after this divorce ,and during.

[standing on the sidelines]

Yes she gets my work pension plus spousal support,i dont get child suport paid to me ,not sure why judge didnt put that into it ,
,
I received papers from the legal aid after i emailed them saying i am claiming financial hardship,they want my bank statements,income tax and they will deicide,this blows me away how you can get legal aid and run up a tab for no reason in that excess ,and make the parent that is looking after the kids pay,knowing that the judge new my circumastances,too much power .

give them what they want and see if you can work with them. Do not get all emotional with them about it. They really dont care about you not getting CS etc, all they care about is recovering some of the money that was paid out. Who knows they may be willing to accept a lesser amount with reasonable payments.

I am not sure if you could claim bankruptcy to get the cost award wiped out. Maybe something to look into but only as a last resort.

[lplp]

Yes she gets my work pension plus spousal support,i dont get child suport paid to me ,not sure why judge didnt put that into it ,
,
I received papers from the legal aid after i emailed them saying i am claiming financial hardship,they want my bank statements,income tax and they will deicide,this blows me away how you can get legal aid and run up a tab for no reason in that excess ,and make the parent that is looking after the kids pay,knowing that the judge new my circumastances,too much power .

[arabian]

I think we're talking about 2 different pensions perhaps? You have a work pension and CPP/OAS. Presumably your ex gets 1/2 of your work pension correct? Please correct me if I am wrong.

[Berner_Faith]

Even though she is getting half my pension now ,they can garnishee my half to the point that my kids won't have a house to live in .
I find that hard to believe .no offence on your advice .

Once she gets half your pension it is no longer yours... that's all equalization. You have a costs award against you, you don't have a choice but to pay it, unless you can argue the judge made a mistake and have it overturned but that's unlikely. If she files with FRO/MEP they won't care that you have to live in a basement apartment... they are there to enforce a court order.


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