Retro-Active CS

[calicodacat]

New partner has 7 yr old daughter, we have been living together for 2.5 yrs ish now. Birth father has been on and off seeing her EOW.

During this 2.5 years he has been to jail 2x for DUI and probation violations, for a total of about 5 months in jail. According to him, his employment has been sporadic due to layoffs and is mostly under the table. He has payed a total of about 400$ in cs up until recently when he sent her an email transfer of 2000$, money he says came from the sale of his new partners house. This guy probably thinks he's dad of the year for paying up this money when the reality is this covers like 2-3 months of groceries. Mom has never made any formal requests to the court for cs, however she was granted full custody in absentia (he never showed up).

I have been pushing her to get the forms submitted to apply for cs and her response has always been that it is pointless as he will never pay consistently anyways. I have learned through this forum that self rep in this situation is doable and I am now encouraging her to file asap.

My questions is.... what is the likely hood of her getting an order for his income being imputed to min wage at least and arrears to be paid? Even at min wage over a 3 year period arrears come up to more than 2000$.

[standing on the sidelines]

why are you even trying to push her to do what you want? It's up to her to decide what she wants to do. Yes he should be paying but if she doesn't want to pursue it, that is her choice.

[calicodacat]

Well... we all need a little push sometimes. Because as a family we are struggling to keep our heads above water and any little bit will help. I believe that we all have a responsibility to care for our children. I love her like my daughter and I am glad to help raise her and pay for whatever she needs I just don't feel like he should not have to contribute to her financially or contribute when he feels like it.

I am not making a big deal out of it, she comes to me for advice and I have encouraged her to start the court process because I think this is the right thing to do in this case. Am I wrong?

[stripes]

I sympathize with the hard times you're going through, but I don't think you should count on retroactive CS. Retro CS is hard to get. In this situation, it sounds like Mom knew where Dad was for the last few years (if he was seeing Kid EOW) and could have sought child support but didn't. This is different from a situation where Mom was somehow prevented from seeking child support (because she didn't know where Dad was, he gave her false financial information, etc). If she's never pursued CS before, a judge would probably want to know why not (bear in mind that CS is the right of the child of the marriage, so if her reason for wanting retro CS is because her new husband and family are in financial need, that won't fly).

However, it is definitely worthwhile for Mom to get registered so she can get proper CS from Dad going forward. Other posters can tell you how to go about that.

[Links17]

Hey buddy - do you know what in loco parentis is? Are you prepared to have this woman leave, you take the kids and start making you pay child support (I imagine you're a beta, stable type) perfect for the plundering.

[Janus]

This guy probably thinks he's dad of the year

What is your relationship with the children? Are you the new dad? Are you a better dad?

the reality is this covers like 2-3 months of groceries.

Wait, you spend $1000 in groceries every single month on the kids? What are you feeding them?

Because as a family we are struggling to keep our heads above water and any little bit will help.

Instead of wasting time in court, try feeding your partner's kids on less than $1000 a month. That would go a long way to help your struggling family.

Also...

Hey buddy - do you know what in loco parentis is?

These types never do. They are all about screwing over the biodad and then are shocked when they in turn get screwed.

[standing on the sidelines]

I also thought 2 grand for groceries was excessive for a 7 year old kid. I don't even spend that much and I am an adult plus I have a pet that I buy food for.

[calicodacat]

So the thread was about retro cs... and your responses although interesting for debate are none the less not super helpful. I am a good sport though so gladly will answer.

Links... last I checked we are not buddy's... Yes I understand the concept and if the time came that me and my new partner separated I do understand that I would have an obligation to help.

Janus... My comment was snarky, I am generally pretty kind to Dad, I have encouraged the relationship he has with his daughter in every way. However, there was a post on FB the other day that just kinda made me question his outlook on reality about him being a super Dad and that probably explains my cynicism. Yes I think of her as my daughter and I try and be the best dad I can, taking on all roles included with Love. Ok so maybe a slight exaggeration on the grocery bill for effect but honestly we are a blended family with 5 kids total (that makes 7 people in house at any one time) and yes our grocery bill easily gets 1000$ a month. I will try and be more specific next time.

As demonstrated by my new partners hesitation at going to court over cs for her daughter I know she is not a "golddigger", she is hard working, caring Mom and spouse.

I think I am a pretty good "type" person, I do like having a partner in life. I did think long and hard about my decision to re-partner and weighed the pros and cons and in the end this is the choice I made. Would like to think that that is good enough.

In the end I am still searching for why you guys think going to court to secure some sort of cs from Dad is a bad idea? We are not trying to bleed this guy dry, we are talking about imputing to min wage, because there really is no reason he can't make that much and he is obviously paying into a house as he received some of the proceeds of the sale. It almost seems from your comments that you have some issue with this. Please elaborate.

[calicodacat]

Are we to believe that 2000$ is all he got from the proceeds of selling his house? Or is this what he feels is reasonable for a arrears payment for cs. At this point, based on Stripe's statement and info I have gathered She does not have much legal choice but to accept it.

[arabian]

Very generous of the other woman to provide 2k for her boyfriend's daughter.

Your partner/spouse/girlfriend has to make her mind up whether she is all-in to pursue CS for her daughter or not. She should then register with FRO (assuming she hasn't done this). FRO will either go after father aggressively or make arrangements with him, based on his current situation, on payments of CS.

Nothing whatsoever for you to do besides support everyone.

Yes the father absolutely has a legal and moral obligation to support his child.

[calicodacat]

You might be right on that one Arabian. His new GF loves D7 to death, I wouldn't put it past her to have just given him the money even though he hasn't paid anything into the house. Suspect that he is just riding her wake, so to speak.

I do realize this is her decision and she should probably be the one on here asking these things. However seeing I have been on here for a while, after consulting with her we thought it would be a good idea to seek advice on these forums. I feel like my first statement came off as some bitter money grab and that is not at all the case. Gotta watch those first impressions and re-read before hitting post I guess.

Is there a downside for her to going to FRO? She is thinking that he will just continue to be underemployed and hide his money but in the end this is already what he is doing.

[arabian]

One good thing about dealing a maintenance enforcement agency is that the two people don't have anything to do with each other. Lame-assessed excuses for not paying are the responsibility of FRO to deal with. FRO can garnishee wages, bank accounts, go after drivers' licenses etc. FRO is used to dealing with people who hide income and those who take winter leave in jail. What you have to remember is that FRO only enforces what is in a court order. FRO is about money and nothing else.

[rockscan]

Retro-Active CS

The bottom line is you cant get blood from a stone. Is there a chance of getting anything from this guy? Thats the main question. You can go to court, get an order and file with FRO but that doesnt mean anything. If he wants to pay then he will. If he doesnt he will find ways around it. If youre going to pursue this then do the basic file and go from there. Imputing income isnt simply checking off a box on a form. You have to argue for it and if he can prove he is incapable of earning income, he could win. You need to decide if your time, energy and money is worth it.

As a child of a man who disappeared at 13 and reappeared when all the financial stuff was over I can assure you that the kids and the people who love the kids can see through his bullshit posts on social media. The kids will also know who did the heavy lifting. He is still their father and one day they will be mature enough to see the situation for what it is. If youre pissed simply because hes telling the world hes dad of the year then give your head a shake. If you can legitimately get something out of him then go for it.

We grew up on the philosophy of "any man can father a child, only a real man sticks around to BE a father."

[calicodacat]

Very well said Rocksan. She will need to make her decision and I will be there for her. I am willing to support her through the court process if that's what she chooses and of course we can always count on the forums here for guidance.

[Janus]

Janus... My comment was snarky, I am generally pretty kind to Dad, I have encouraged the relationship he has with his daughter in every way. However, there was a post on FB the other day that just kinda made me question his outlook on reality about him being a super Dad and that probably explains my cynicism. Yes I think of her as my daughter and I try and be the best dad I can, taking on all roles included with Love.

I was just trying to make sure that you know that you are not the child's father, and that you have absolutely no right to denigrate the father in front of the child. Perhaps you don't say bad things, but your post had an incredible level of disdain for the real father, which makes me believe that you probably insult him quite liberally at home.

Your partner's kid will not tell you to stop, but I assure you that it hurts her to hear the bad things being said about her father.

Ok so maybe a slight exaggeration on the grocery bill for effect but honestly we are a blended family with 5 kids total (that makes 7 people in house at any one time) and yes our grocery bill easily gets 1000$ a month. I will try and be more specific next time.

The child support is only to feed your partner's daughter. It is not to feed you. It is not to feed your partner. It is not to feed the other children. Your total grocery bill is irrelevant.

I would go so far as to say that the $2000 probably covers the entire marginal cost of food for your partner's child for the entire year.

As demonstrated by my new partners hesitation at going to court over cs for her daughter I know she is not a "golddigger", she is hard working, caring Mom and spouse.

We never said she was a gold digger, especially since she is messing with a broke... um... person.

We are not trying to bleed this guy dry

You think he is a terrible father.

His facebook posts saying that he is a good father are annoying you, because you think that deep down you do more for the kid than the real father.

You think that if he is going to post about being a good father but not follow through, that at the very least you are going to hit him for CS.

I agree, you're not trying to bleed him dry. You're just hoping to punish him for having the nerve to pretend to be a good father online.