What Child Support is actually used for....?

[natty2013]

My ex-wife received $1200/month in child support for our two young children. (mid/high range table amount)

This weekend, this was the foot-wear they arrived with (attached), along with the explanation that she can't afford to give them footwear and that it is their fault for wearing the shoes out. I know that she buys cheap, used footwear, or gets free footwear from clothing exchanges, etc.

What can be done? Is there a legal definition of some sort that states or implies that she has to provide adequate clothing/footwear for the children? I worry about possible medical implications of inappropriate footwear, not to mention the emotional and psychological impact.

[undersc0re]

My ex-wife received $1200/month in child support for our two young children. (mid/high range table amount)

This weekend, this was the foot-wear they arrived with (attached), along with the explanation that she can't afford to give them footwear and that it is their fault for wearing the shoes out. I know that she buys cheap, used footwear, or gets free footwear from clothing exchanges, etc.

What can be done? Is there a legal definition of some sort that states or implies that she has to provide adequate clothing/footwear for the children? I worry about possible medical implications of inappropriate footwear, not to mention the emotional and psychological impact.

Just buy them some decent shoes if your concerned, pretty cheap in the grand scheme of things, cheaper than phoning a lawyer about it and less stressful. She might just send them to your place with those shoes to get under your skin?

[Links17]

Assume child support is for breast implants and there is not a damn thing you can do about it

[Berner_Faith]

Really nothing you can do... my step kids show up in stuff like that all the time. We have made sure they have what they need at our house and she can choose to dress them in what she wants at her house. We occasionally send things home, but not often because they always end up coming back in the same stuff.

[paris]

My husband and I learned with his daughters that child support does not include shoes, school trips, pizza day, or tampons.

[blinkandimgone]

Really nothing you can do... my step kids show up in stuff like that all the time. We have made sure they have what they need at our house and she can choose to dress them in what she wants at her house. We occasionally send things home, but not often because they always end up coming back in the same stuff.

Exactly this. She can dress them how she wishes during her time and you on yours.

[ele110]

You are so right but there is not much you can do about it but to buy them proper shoes.

[motherbear4]

I was on the receiving end of this very accusation just 10 days ago. Ex used the very same catch words--mental health and physical health. I simply ignored the email and let him rant. Just let it go; be the better person. As others have said, a payor has no control over what the recipient does with child support. I have paid child support so I know the frustration. My kidlet drags his feet, hence the worn down heels that upset his dad. But Karma paid him a visit the day he sent that email. I had bought kidlet new shoes the night before. Give mom a chance; it's not the end of the world.

[Bellbaby]

Feel bad for the kids where they do these types of things...

[blinkandimgone]

I was on the receiving end of this very accusation just 10 days ago. Ex used the very same catch words--mental health and physical health. I simply ignored the email and let him rant. Just let it go; be the better person. As others have said, a payor has no control over what the recipient does with child support. I have paid child support so I know the frustration. My kidlet drags his feet, hence the worn down heels that upset his dad. But Karma paid him a visit the day he sent that email. I had bought kidlet new shoes the night before. Give mom a chance; it's not the end of the world.

I would think the mother's issues wasn't 'not being given a chance' since she prepped the kid to deliver a long lecture about how she couldn't afford to buy them shoes.

[natty2013]

I see a lot of responses about "nothing you can do", "buy them yourself" etc...

My understanding is that child support is to be used in the best interest of the child. I see there are lots of opinions about this, but what is the legal side of child support?

I thought that Child Support is paid on the basis of what you would be contributing if you still lived together. It doesn't appear to be in the best interest of the child to send them out (even to the other parent) with torn and damaged clothes, regardless of whether or not new clothes and shoes are waiting for them on the other end?

If I still lived with my ex, I would be making sure they had proper clothes and footwear, so how can this double standard exist? How can this game be played and still considered to be "in the best interest of the child"?

Or.... am I answering my own question and discovering some double standard in how the law operates?

[Janus]

Some points about CS:

1) There is no expectation or requirement that child support will be spent on the child. The mother can send you an email telling you that she spends your CS money on a new fur coat every single month, and there is nothing actually wrong with that at all.

2) In theory, the CP should be sending clothing along with the kids during overnight parenting time with the NCP. In reality of course, that doesn't happen.

3) Lunch is of course covered under CS, so pizza days are not S7.

4) Extracurricular activities are also (mostly) covered under CS, so are not S7. That said, much like offset support, judges don't understand S7 very well.

[blinkandimgone]

I see a lot of responses about "nothing you can do", "buy them yourself" etc...

My understanding is that child support is to be used in the best interest of the child. I see there are lots of opinions about this, but what is the legal side of child support?

I thought that Child Support is paid on the basis of what you would be contributing if you still lived together. It doesn't appear to be in the best interest of the child to send them out (even to the other parent) with torn and damaged clothes, regardless of whether or not new clothes and shoes are waiting for them on the other end?

If I still lived with my ex, I would be making sure they had proper clothes and footwear, so how can this double standard exist? How can this game be played and still considered to be "in the best interest of the child"?

Or.... am I answering my own question and discovering some double standard in how the law operates?

*IF* you still lived with your ex you would - and could. That's the change: you don't.

You could go out and buy ten pairs of shoes per kid. And the kid could still show up in torn shoes. You can't make anyone do anything. You could take it to court and have an order made and she could still ignore it.

[Janus]

My understanding is that child support is to be used in the best interest of the child. I see there are lots of opinions about this, but what is the legal side of child support?

There is no legal requirement for the child support to be spent on the child. The CS is supposed to raise the standard of living of the recipient parent, which in turn raises the standard of living of the child.

It doesn't appear to be in the best interest of the child to send them out (even to the other parent) with torn and damaged clothes, regardless of whether or not new clothes and shoes are waiting for them on the other end?

If the parent is being neglectful, you should encourage a teacher or doctor to call CAS and report the parent. An adverse CAS finding would certainly bolster your case for custody.

That said, torn clothes probably don't rise to the level of CAS concern. Therefore, you are out of luck.

If I still lived with my ex, I would be making sure they had proper clothes and footwear, so how can this double standard exist? How can this game be played and still considered to be "in the best interest of the child"?

How is there a double standard? Compared to what?

Child support is not governed by the "best interests" test. That is custody. Don't confuse the two. Perhaps that is the double standard?

In theory, if you have shared custody, then a sort of best interests test is applied when determining levels of CS. However, if you are a NCP, then the best interests of the child are for you to pay table child support.

[rockscan]

Your ex could just be doing this to get something from you. For instance, you feel bad and go buy new shoes and clothes. Then they get more from you. Ways to solve it? Buy new shoes and clothes for YOUR HOUSE and send them back to mom in the tatty stuff.

Choose your hill to die on man. This isnt the one!