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Postsecondary question continued...moved this to its own thread!

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  • Rioe
    replied
    Originally posted by momof2teenboys View Post
    I'm right in the middle of them. One would go west - the other east so can't even share a car.

    I actually moved to this location from the marital home because of it's links to public transit. Not for schooling - but so the boys could visit their father who moved much further away. I wanted them to have some independence and not depend on me to be their taxi service when they went out with their friends too. It's helped with their social outings for sure!

    Once the youngest is finished high school I'm seriously considering it though! By then I should be finished (or nearly) completed my own training and will be moving for work if I need to.
    Move as near as you can to Son2's IB school, and put Son1 in residence?

    Leave a comment:


  • mcdreamy
    replied
    Originally posted by momof2teenboys View Post
    Son1 - entering college in fall 2016
    option 1 - lives in residence -
    I will not receive cs for the months he is away.
    Why would you think that? Often cs may be decreased, but not absolved, when a kidlet moves to residence. Particularly with the incomes that you have posted in the past.

    Do you have a lawyer? Are you making proposals to your ex with no legal advice?

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Your youngest gets the benefit of the IB so theres that. If he isnt happy or isnt liking it he would have the option of transferring back to the local school. Its a benefit not really a necessity which is why your ex is being a dick about paying. I dont know much about these programs but I do know more schools are attempting to offer them.

    Has your oldest applied for OSAP yet? (Not sure if youre in Ontario). May want to see what his options are for living on and off campus. Has he also looked into living closer to the school off campus? Theres that option too. You may want to look at the difference between on or off campus and what the costs are with a car. Just like Rioe said, look at everything and determine cost/benefit.

    There are a lot of kids from intact families who struggle with funding for school and kids in these cases arent eligible for tuition grants. Not every kid can do what they want. You arent a bad parent for having your kids make difficult choices. Yes your ex should be stepping up (especially at $250,000 a year!!!) but that doesnt always happen. Sadly for him the kids will learn as they get older what role their father plays in their lives. It doesnt help now but it will make an emotional difference.

    Leave a comment:


  • momof2teenboys
    replied
    Originally posted by arabian View Post
    Option #3 - you move closer to the school(s) ?
    I'm right in the middle of them. One would go west - the other east so can't even share a car.

    I actually moved to this location from the marital home because of it's links to public transit. Not for schooling - but so the boys could visit their father who moved much further away. I wanted them to have some independence and not depend on me to be their taxi service when they went out with their friends too. It's helped with their social outings for sure!

    Once the youngest is finished high school I'm seriously considering it though! By then I should be finished (or nearly) completed my own training and will be moving for work if I need to.

    Leave a comment:


  • arabian
    replied
    Option #3 - you move closer to the school(s) ?

    Leave a comment:


  • Postsecondary question continued...moved this to its own thread!

    Moved this issue here since it seemed to be hijacking the resource thread.

    Originally posted by Rioe View Post
    Ah, so I am. Well, some of the concepts still apply, but the analysis needs the right data!
    It is confusing! but here's the breakdown...opinions are welcome.
    both boys live full time with me. stbx is eow (sees them 75% of those times) with two evenings that he rarely uses. I receive full table support - I am currently in school to retrain. He's a high income earner (approx $250,000). We divide s7 70/30

    I'll list the options highest $ to lowest -

    Son1 - entering college in fall 2016
    option 1 - lives in residence -
    I will not receive cs for the months he is away.
    residence seems quite high cost compared to other schools.
    $$$$ stbx and I will both be spending the most money on this option despite him reducing cs and son contributing
    Benefit to child - absolutely! For all the reasons listed in previous post.
    option 2 - commutes from home
    bus - train - bus 1.5 hours each way OR we help contribute to purchase of used car
    I'll continue to receive cs but it is cheaper for stbx than residence fees/meals/living expenses
    Benefit to child - bus etc will be tough and will take dedication, used car will give him bonus of freedom without high cost and can be used for the full 3 year program.

    Son2 - entering grade 10 in fall - IB program ONLY available at current school
    option 1 - taxi service (still looking for other options but as it stands right now this is all there is)
    high cost for both stbx and I
    benefit to child - saves him a great deal of time
    option 2 - public transit
    same as other son - bus-bus-bus 1.5 hours each way
    cost benefit to both parents
    benefit to child - not really - other than "toughening him up!"

    My thought is that we choose the same option for both. Expecting one to use public transit while the other gets all the benefits of the expensive option is simply not fair. BUT - while I believe that short-term sacrifice is worth it for long-term gain both stbx and I both commuted from home when we attended college. I used public transit and his mother gave him her car while she used public transit.

    If you were support payor which would you prefer? What do you think legal implications for either of us would be either way?
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