New baby on the way. Can I end Spousal Support

[c800957276]

Hello,
Quick summary: separated in 2010, legally in 2011, went to trial in late 2013 and have joint custody of a child, while having to pay Spousal and child support. Spousal is up for review in mid 2015. I pay a lot of money, and I'm in a little bit of hardship.
Met someone over a year ago and we are expecting a child. I just want to get your opinion on whether or not this is a sufficient enough change to either end or reduce spousal support for my ex.
I'm going back to court at the end of this month.
My new partner has two children from a previous relationship and does not receive child, much less spousal support (deadbeat dad).
Whats your opinion on this?

[Berner_Faith]

My opinion... you decided to have another child knowing your current obligations. SS is up for review in mid 2015, trying to change it now is pointless. Wait until the review period.

Do you have car payments?
Do you have tv?
Do you have Internet?
Do you have any extras?

If the answer is yes to any of those your case for hardship is going to be tough. You starting a new family is not reason enough to end SS unfortunately

[c800957276]

My opinion... you decided to have another child knowing your current obligations. SS is up for review in mid 2015, trying to change it now is pointless. Wait until the review period.

Do you have car payments?
Do you have tv?
Do you have Internet?
Do you have any extras?

If the answer is yes to any of those your case for hardship is going to be tough. You starting a new family is not reason enough to end SS unfortunately

It's a very messy case. Ex is in contempt of court, has committed insurance fraud, has presented fake documents and invoices to the court to change financial information, sent fake invoices to FRO to add "arrears" to my obligations, got arrested for assaulting me (no charges though), had the option to buy me out of the matrimonial home but hasn't, refuses to sell it, doesn't pay the mortgage, property tax, condo fees, insurance, and is intentionally unemployed. I have the benefit of being able to back up all these items with actual evidence. The list goes on and on.

AND, has made my access to my child a nightmare. Those are the reasons why I'm going back to court, but I just found out about the new baby, so this is going to be included in the bundle.

Any thoughts?

[Berner_Faith]

The house is about equalization and has nothing to do with support. Get an order to have the house sold. Assault again nothing to do with support. The S7 receipts are separate from your ongoing CS and SS obligations.

Others may have something else to add but it seems your only reason for wanting to end support is based on the expected baby. By your own admission court was scheduled before you knew about the baby.

[Serene]

You need to budget better and take care of all your responsibilities. Period.

Sorry, I have little sympathy for your situation. Particularly because you knowingly contributed to an addition to your family (aka liabilities!) when you apparently cannot afford it. Its the first in, first out principal. You still have to pay for the first family and wife. At the very least, you should have shacked up with someone who could have contributed more to your house/family.

In any event, you have a lot on your hands. No more, no less than many of the members on the forum. Govern yourself accordingly and prepare to continue to pay your support obligations.

[Itsworthit]

Bud, you will probably get some nasty comments from divorced woman who are receiving SS about this!! lol

Anyhow, If you don't ask for it, you don't know! Its worth a shot...however your obligations have a timeline for a reason, I don't believe it is likely they will revise these timelines based on your current situation. Perhaps they will reduce the amount for you...I don't know.

Like I said, you don't know unless you ask for it. You will not get in "trouble" for asking!

[Straittohell]

Keep in mind that the courts base spousal support on the need of recipient, and the wages of the supporter. That's it. You won't 'get in trouble' for asking, but it won't work. The posters that advised against this aren't doing so because they're bitter mom's getting spousal, they just happen to know that the court is not going to care about your new obligations. I agree with them, and I'm a support paying dad.

You have a laundry list of things to deal with in terms of your ex. I highly suggest that you avoid bringing up the reduction of spousal, and your new family, and keep the focus on the issues that matter the most, which is the access to your children, her attempts to defraud you, and forcing the sale of the house.

These are all things that you are 100% correct to address ASAP, and this whole reduction of spousal support thing may not get you into trouble for asking, but it will certainly distract from the other components of your case. Think strategically and shelve this one. If you have a hard end-date of 2015, consider yourself blessed that it is that soon.

[arabian]

Be careful about brining up your new family. If your ex is experiencing financial difficulties she very well could explore the option of claiming undue hardship and then your new partner's income could be examined and considered part of "household income" and your SS could increase.

To save yourself a lot of futile attempts at having SS reduced you should do some reading on "material change of circumstances." In fact you should become an expert in that subject if you seek to have SS reduced or eliminated.


Straighttohell is correct that you are blessed to have a firm end date for your SS.

[Serene]

I'm going to suggest something a bit different than Arabian did above. I'm not of the opinion that you should be "careful" that your ex could claim undue hardship. More specifically, if your ex is experiencing undue hardship (legitimately) then you should pony up and assist her financially.

[Straittohell]

Arabian, that's "Straittohell", not "Straighttohell".

It's not a spelling mistake either, just a pathetic attempt at a clever play on words.

[arabian]

Noted! Very clever indeed!

[arabian]

BTW - if my ex could reduce or eliminate SS by impregnating someone then he would have done it by now. He's tried just about every angle there is. It's October now and I'm expecting another flurry of activity from him soon so he can drag me to court in December and then again in February. Like clockwork.

[mcdreamy]

BTW - if my ex could reduce or eliminate SS by impregnating someone then he would have done it by now.

I've never even met the man, and I just threw up in my mouth a little.

[Straittohell]

I would have thrown up in my mouth but I was too busy laughing out loud.

[good_mom]

I agree with all above.

No need to tell ex about new child do you really want more drama in this? You state that this was early on in pregnancy that will give you time to deal with the issues at hand. I suggest no one that can tell EX about it is told and that includes the children. You have a few months before physical sign of the pregnancy start to show.

You stated that present partner has 2 kids and no CS....I hope this has been sent to FRO. Dad maybe a deadbeat but if nothing is done to get the funds for the children then that not any better.

You separated from your ex to have a separate life keep it that way for your sake and your growing family sake.