Ex Moving Out of Country & Doesn't Want to Pay CS

[kamkatie]

Background:

• Divorced for 8 years
• D12 & S9
• Both re-married
• Ex is losing his union plant job at the end of this year
• I have sole custody with EOW for him

I received an email from him stating that he has a business opportunity out of the country and that he is going to take it. It appears there are still some legalities to sort out as well as getting work visas and a million other details, I'm sure. However, he wants me to take us out of the FRO with the promise that once he gets his severence he will pay back all his arrears. Additionally, he doesn't think he should have to pay support once he moves, since he will no longer be seeing the kids. He does have the intention of coming home for brief periods over the summer and Christmas breaks and would like to see then at those times. For the record "out of the country" doesn't mean the States, but somewhere in the Carribean, I believe.

I'm looking for thoughts and opinions. I don't really want to leave the FRO as he has a history of missing and late payments. Is he entitled to not pay support? Should he be able to pay less support due to the costs of exercising his access? Does anyone know if the FRO can enforce support payments when he's in another country?

Thanks!!!

[DunnMom]

Don't do it!!!

He still has to pay support. I wouldn't agree to a reduction in CS either because HE is the one choosing to move to another country. You haven't moved and aren't impeding his access.

[FB_]

Access and CS are not tied together.

He is choosing to move and he is still responsible to support his children.

FRO has agreements with the following countries

List of reciprocating jurisdictions | Ministry of Community and Social Services

International

The Commonwealth of Australia and the following States and Territories of Australia:
Capital Territory of Australia
New South Wales
Northern Territory of Australia
Queensland
South Australia
Tasmania
Victoria
Western Australia
Barbados
Bermuda
Cayman Islands
Federal Republic of Germany
Fiji
Finland
Hong Kong
Kingdom of Norway
Malta and its Dependencies
New Zealand and the Cook Islands
Papua New Guinea
Republic of Austria
Czech Republic
Republic of Ghana
Republic of Poland
Republic of South Africa
Slovak Republic
States of Jersey
Switzerland
United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales, Gibraltar, Isle of Man, Guernsey, Alderney and Sark)
Zimbabwe

[kamkatie]

Thanks for the responses. And damn - looks like St. Lucia is not on the list. Since he's losing his job and has the prospect of employment in the new location, I wondered if he could/should get a reduction based on that argument.

I completely agree - access and support are not tied together. Elsewise he should have stopped seeing the kids months ago. Try telling him that though...

[FB_]

Unfortunately you can't stop him. All you can do is make sure you have your orders in place.

Ask FRO to suspend his Passport if he is in arrears.

[Rioe]

Thanks for the responses. And damn - looks like St. Lucia is not on the list. Since he's losing his job and has the prospect of employment in the new location, I wondered if he could/should get a reduction based on that argument.

Probably not? I think reductions in CS because of large travel expenses are for cases where the children are moved, and the other parent, through no choice of their own, has increased access costs because of it. Your ex is making this choice to move away from the children, and is presumably doing so with his existing financial obligations in mind. If YOU were the one moving far away with the children, then his CS could easily be reduced.

On the other hand, he's not sitting around planning to be on EI, and wouldn't it be awesome to take the children to visit him there?

[kamkatie]

I have always wanted to visit St. Lucia!!! Wonder what the odds of getting the ex to split on flight costs (for the kids only) would be!?

[DowntroddenDad]

I have always wanted to visit St. Lucia!!! Wonder what the odds of getting the ex to split on flight costs (for the kids only) would be!?

My GF's ex is from Venezuala, though he lives in Canada. As part of the agreement, he can take them for 10 days to Venezuala each year. He pays for everything, though he did ask my GF to share the costs of passports and the letter giving permission.

She misses them, but they have a blast. They know their grandparents who lived in Toronto for a while, and this is their chance to see the cousins, swim in the ocean etc. The kids even say they hope I and their mother will come down some time.

[kamkatie]

That raises a great point. If the move does happen, should I be looking at having a new separation agreement drawn up?

[DowntroddenDad]

That raises a great point. If the move does happen, should I be looking at having a new separation agreement drawn up?

If you want to have an agreement about visitation sure.

But if he is silly enough to think that not seeing his kids can get him out of financial obligations, he may try and bring that up as well.