Please make it stop!

[RLS]

Below is the last email Mom has sent Dad regarding net daycare fees...

"Ive been looking into this marginal tax rate you keep going on about and it has nothing to do with day care. The 20.05% is the tax bracket I am in for what the government takes out for income tax. For example: if my pay is gross of $800 I pay 20.05% income tax which would equal $160.40 off the paychk. So my net would be $639.60. Where you are getting that you are allowed to deduct 20.05 % off daycare fees you stil have not provided the information where it states this."

How do we make it stop? LOL

She's still requesting a notarized letter from a lawyer. Dad has requested 3 times for a copy of D6's report card which she received on June 25th, but Dad's getting the impression she won't email a copy of the report card until he provides her with this notarized letter. Errrg!

Should Dad email Mom that he has no intentions on paying a lawyer to sign a notarized letter? I'm guessing the letter would read, "the Federal guidelines are correct."

Please! How does Dad put a stop to the madness? lol

[blinkandimgone]

Dad should arrange with the school directly to get a copy of the report cards and any newsletters. That way he doesn't have to rely on mom.

[SadAndTired]

As someone who struggles with the whole tax situation, I wonder if using tax based words is too much for her.

Perhaps explaining it in layman's terms will help. For example: (You meaning his ex.)

"You pay $100 a month for daycare.

When you do your taxes at the end of the year, the government gives back a refund of daycare costs of $X mixed in with your income tax refund.

But this refund must be shared because both of you actually pay for daycare. It is a partial refund of the daycare costs, like a discount. You don't get to keep Dad's refund/discount. Only your own.

Since the refund is X per year, that means it is $Y per month. Daycare is then $100 - Y per month.

Dad pays Z% of daycare cost per month which is total!"

I know it sounds stupid but that would make most sense to me. Keep it as simple as possible.

[RLS]

As someone who struggles with the whole tax situation, I wonder if using tax based words is too much for her.

Perhaps explaining it in layman's terms will help. For example: (You meaning his ex.)

"You pay $100 a month for daycare.

You get a refund of daycare costs of $X at the end of the year mixed in with your income tax refund.

But this refund must be shared because both of you actually pay for daycare. It is a partial refund of the daycare costs, like a discount.

Since the refund is X per year, that means it is $Y per month. Daycare is then $100 - Y per month.

Dad pays Z% of daycare cost per month which is total!"

I know it sounds stupid but that would make most sense to me. Keep it as simple as possible.

^ Still would be too complicated...Dad responded with, "If you claimed for example, $1000 for daycare fees, you would get a deduction off of your taxable income of $1000. In other words, $1000 of your income would be sheltered from taxation. You would save 20.05% of that $1000, which means the NET daycare costs were actually $800, not $1000."

I think that sums it up easily, no?...but she's responded back with...

"You don't get it. Show me where this %20.05 comes off the child care.. Explain how your tax 20.05% of child care, as child care is not taxed. Stop trying to scam people out of money."

We give up. Can't Dad just tell her that he has no intentions on acquiring a notarized letter, he won't be discussing it any further than he already has with her and that if she strongly believes that Dad is "trying to scam people," then he would be happy to discuss it in front of a judge?

[Rioe]

This woman obviously does not do her own taxes. Ask that she get her accountant do her taxes twice, once with daycare fees included and once without. The difference between the two refunds is to be divided by her and your husband, proportional to income, the same way the daycare fees were.

[SadAndTired]

Honestly, no. What Dad says is too complicated. LOL. Truly. Are you and Dad science/math people?

20% isn't "taxed" in my nonmath mind. It is a refund. The government "gives back to her" 20% of the child care cost. She has to share that refund as Dad pays too.

I can see how you would give up. Want me to call her up? I bet I can explain it to her because the feeble part of my math brain likely thinks the same as hers. LMAO!

[RLS]

Dad should arrange with the school directly to get a copy of the report cards and any newsletters. That way he doesn't have to rely on mom.

Dad hasn't had any problems with this in the past, but I'll suggest to him that he arrange everything at D6's school before September. It'll be one less thing to rely on Mom for as you've mentioned.

[RLS]

This woman obviously does not do her own taxes. Ask that she get her accountant do her taxes twice, once with daycare fees included and once without. The difference between the two refunds is to be divided by her and your husband, proportional to income, the same way the daycare fees were.

Hold on...having Dad email her ^, minus the "this woman obviously does not do her own taxes" lol....

[RLS]

If Rioe's suggestion doesn't work, then SadandTired, you're up next. lol
We'll give you Mom's phone number... although, I hope you're in Ontario because it could be a lengthy phone call.

We want her so desperately to understand and stop harassing with these emails. And it's not a good feeling knowing that someone thinks you're scamming them, or worse, thinks you're cheating your responsibilities as a parent.

[stripes]

Many school boards have websites which parents can log into and view information related to their child, from report cards to attendance. That's the way I get all my information from the school. I haven't seen a hard-copy report card yet. If you have a custody agreement, you should be able to get an ID and password to view your child's information. Give the school board a call.

Dad hasn't had any problems with this in the past, but I'll suggest to him that he arrange everything at D6's school before September. It'll be one less thing to rely on Mom for as you've mentioned.

[RLS]

Mom's response is a long one, to sum it up...

She wants a letter from a lawyer saying that Dad's "entitled to do this."
If Dad's right, then he shouldn't have a problem with providing the letter.
And then she went onto extracurricular activities...

I think I'm going to suggest to Dad, that he suggest to Mom, that they work out the details of the order in front of a judge. This is ridiculous. It's never going to stop. I can see the judge now, shaking his head, adjusting in his seat and winding up to let loose on the both of them.

[Tayken]

She wants a letter from a lawyer saying that Dad's "entitled to do this."

If she wants this, tell her you are more than willing to have it done so long as she pays for the lawyer's time too. This is how unrepresented litigants often get free legal advice BTW. It is a common tactic to run up legal bills of the other party. Don't get sucked in.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[RLS]

If she wants this, tell her you are more than willing to have it done so long as she pays for the lawyer's time too. This is how unrepresented litigants often get free legal advice BTW. It is a common tactic to run up legal bills of the other party. Don't get sucked in.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Thanks, Tayken. Dad's not falling for it.

[red6419]

Question - would it not be easier for dad to pay the daycare fees direct and claim the payment on his own taxes? This is what my ex and I did when we had daycare (thank goodness that mess is done now!!)

[RLS]

Question - would it not be easier for dad to pay the daycare fees direct and claim the payment on his own taxes? This is what my ex and I did when we had daycare (thank goodness that mess is done now!!)

Yes, that would be easier, but Dad isn't eligible to claim any of the little one's daycare costs. It would be so, so much easier.