Use FRO for section 7 daycare expense or not

[Beachnana]

Hi

My daughters sent a very poliete email to ex to let him know she had registered son into daycare 3 days per week. Her ex has refused to pay for section 7 expenses and then after she referred to their agreement and the family,law act, he emailed to say he would pay some but all his proportional amount and not until He was ready to. " this is non negotiable". Was his response. They have joint custody of boy 18mths old and he lives 1000 km alway. He has not come to see son, despite taking 50% of child support to cover travel costs. She has travel down twice and stayed with friends so dad can see son. During mediation he indicated he would be very friendly and work on good communication for son. He has not followed through with this attitude, if anything he has continued to be agressive, controlling and Anyway, she contact lawyer to send official letter and motion to amend agreement to include daycare expense amount so this can be processed through FRO. Plus an offer to make an adjustment every 6 months to ensure the correct amount is paid. Now he has received this communication ignored it for weeks and finally replied that he wants to discuss it next month when he is ready. More delay. He has no income issues has a good income and disposable income as he smokes, drinks ( hence the problem) and just bought a new motorbike. So question is should she spend weeks trying to reason With him or proceed to court?

[standing on the sidelines]

why try and negotiate with someone who keeps stalling?

If he isnt seeing his son but getting a reduced amount for CS for travel costs, your daughter should not be taking the son to see him. He is getting a break there with the $$ he has to pay because of the travel, he isnt travelling, he shouldnt be getting that break.

[Beachnana]

Standling on the sidelines: i know she is bending over backwards to make things work, but its for her son to have a relationship. Also he keeps threatening to drag her back to court and force her to live near him. I doubt he could but he has lied and fabricated so many lies using his friends to lie for him. That she just wants to build a smooth relationship for their sons sake. The question remains... Does she just go to court here and get the daycare court ordered so she can deal with FRO instead or is that too agressive?

[standing on the sidelines]

I would take it to court. He wants to control her and do things when he wants and his timeline, that wont change.

did you daughter move away and that is the reason he is threatening to make her move closer to him?

[Beachnana]

Yea she came home where she has a full time job and lots of family support. He was drinking heavily and becoming abusive and she did not want their child to live in a negative environment. His family made no attempt to help. This was a very short term relationship with a child as a result. Sad but its whats happens. Had she stayed she would have had no job and been at his mercy. He did not cope well with having a child, took no part in care and wanted " his" time. Was very stressed with son and always pushed him back to Mom. When she left, just before Christmas, he was invited to come and stay and she paid the airfare. He was made welcome by all, got the happy pictures to prove it. He made no attempt to reconcile and went back home and filed for custody and told her she would regret crossing him. Anyway, same sad story told by,many. Just want to deal with financial issues. Court or just battle it out.

[standing on the sidelines]

If he wanted to prevent the child moving then he would have done something right away. Not sure if he could do anything now as CS and custody have been settled (if they have been)

He wants control and if your daughter takes it court then she won't have to deal with him delaying payments or his excuses. He may get pissy but in the end it would be better for your daughter to get a court order and get fro to collect the money.

Sorry that your daughter is going thru this. I grew up with alcoholic parents and its not fun. It will be up to your daughter to provide the stability that the child needs. Its too bad that the father will not grow up and put his child first but some people (men and women) are like that.

[Beachnana]

Thanks for the support and confirmation. Yes, custody agreement sign and filed. This is the first time she has asked for ex to contribute to anything. He even took the car seat and the crib, as he paid for it and we had to help her buy another one. It looks like it will be a long journey but she hopes dealing with FRO is not going from the frying pan into the fire!