This is probably only for the guys on here but any insight would be helpful.
Frankly....how does anyone do it? I have been making significant payments for over two years after losing most everything I owned. The only reason I can have any life at all is because I have been chipping away steadily at what little savings I had left despite myself. I do not have an extravagant lifestyle at all, had to give up things like eating out, trips of any nature besides a bit of camping with old gear, haven't bought anything for myself (to replace everything I lost) that wasn't on kijiji besides some clothing in two years, etc. All of this doesn't seem to matter to the bottom line.
Investments seem to be impossible, I can't get a mortgage bc the banks won't lend to me when they see the totals and meagre downpayment(well...I could live in a trailer probably) and I'm even considering stopping deposits into the kids resps because I may need that soon.
I had a couple of major car repairs that came up for example and the savings dropped hugely but I cannot make it back. Everything just keeps dropping and dropping and within a couple of years at this rate I'll be bankrupt but I don't know what else to do.
Oh and now, I was just told that the ex wife wants significantly MORE money and is likely going to go to court to get it. I cannot afford a big legal fight now like she can but if I have to pay more and/or lose a lot in court I have no idea how I will survive. It's terrifying me.
I'm also no spring chicken. I should be planning for retirement somehow or maybe trying to enjoy a bit of the post-marriage life but I can't do anything without whittling away at the only cash i have left.
Making matters more fun is that the ex is living pretty high - upsized to a much larger house than our old one, takes trips, taking the kids to Disney, etc and is apparently buying a motorcycle now. The kids don't understand how I don't have all of this too and how I can't do nearly as much with them. It breaks my heart.
So seriously, how do you live guys? Payments are theoretically supposed to "maintain" the lifestyle of the kids post divorce but they (and of course the ex wife) are living far better while I continue to circle the drain. This cannot go on forever. It's unsustainable. Would anyone even care if I ended up in a cardboard box?
Is it even possible to do things like plan for retirement or enjoy life at all in these circumstances? When the marriage ended I was looking forward to starting a new life after a while but so far, feel like I can't do much. Dating at my age has been a hoot too once many women find out how financially destroyed this has made me. Maybe it would have been better to remain miserable in the marriage than to be old, broke and hopeless in a few years.
So is there a way? I'm getting desperate especially as my job is due to end within a couple of months and so far, I can't find anything else.
Frankly....how does anyone do it? I have been making significant payments for over two years after losing most everything I owned. The only reason I can have any life at all is because I have been chipping away steadily at what little savings I had left despite myself. I do not have an extravagant lifestyle at all, had to give up things like eating out, trips of any nature besides a bit of camping with old gear, haven't bought anything for myself (to replace everything I lost) that wasn't on kijiji besides some clothing in two years, etc. All of this doesn't seem to matter to the bottom line.
Investments seem to be impossible, I can't get a mortgage bc the banks won't lend to me when they see the totals and meagre downpayment(well...I could live in a trailer probably) and I'm even considering stopping deposits into the kids resps because I may need that soon.
I had a couple of major car repairs that came up for example and the savings dropped hugely but I cannot make it back. Everything just keeps dropping and dropping and within a couple of years at this rate I'll be bankrupt but I don't know what else to do.
Oh and now, I was just told that the ex wife wants significantly MORE money and is likely going to go to court to get it. I cannot afford a big legal fight now like she can but if I have to pay more and/or lose a lot in court I have no idea how I will survive. It's terrifying me.
I'm also no spring chicken. I should be planning for retirement somehow or maybe trying to enjoy a bit of the post-marriage life but I can't do anything without whittling away at the only cash i have left.
Making matters more fun is that the ex is living pretty high - upsized to a much larger house than our old one, takes trips, taking the kids to Disney, etc and is apparently buying a motorcycle now. The kids don't understand how I don't have all of this too and how I can't do nearly as much with them. It breaks my heart.
So seriously, how do you live guys? Payments are theoretically supposed to "maintain" the lifestyle of the kids post divorce but they (and of course the ex wife) are living far better while I continue to circle the drain. This cannot go on forever. It's unsustainable. Would anyone even care if I ended up in a cardboard box?
Is it even possible to do things like plan for retirement or enjoy life at all in these circumstances? When the marriage ended I was looking forward to starting a new life after a while but so far, feel like I can't do much. Dating at my age has been a hoot too once many women find out how financially destroyed this has made me. Maybe it would have been better to remain miserable in the marriage than to be old, broke and hopeless in a few years.
So is there a way? I'm getting desperate especially as my job is due to end within a couple of months and so far, I can't find anything else.
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