Well I was just blindsided

[caranna]

My attorney told me that she was surprised at my answers and that they contradicted under oath what my affy
I certainly didn't mean too but the opposing council was badgering about my new relationship I answered and tried to say I didn't kno some of the stuff she was asking but now I have all these things I have to produce and how do I just make it go away? can we still go to the judge if I don't produce this stuff I have it all I just don't want my life dragged thru the mud I want to be divorced now any tips??

I wish it would all go away too. Most of us wish it will all go away, especially when the other partner is HC. But really honey, those questions you are asking can only be answered by your lawyer.

[ringettteplayer]

Yes she emailed me to produce them
Financials etc emails text messages

[caranna]

My attorney told me that she was surprised at my answers and that they contradicted under oath what my affy
I certainly didn't mean too but the opposing council was badgering about my new relationship I answered and tried to say I didn't kno some of the stuff she was asking but now I have all these things I have to produce and how do I just make it go away? can we still go to the judge if I don't produce this stuff I have it all I just don't want my life dragged thru the mud I want to be divorced now any tips??

RP, I don''t know what things you have to produce, but I do think you need to consult your lawyer and ask her that question. You are taking too much upon yourself and it's adding to your stress. Make a list of questions and contact your lawyer.

[ringettteplayer]

My attorney told me that she was surprised at my answers and that they contradicted under oath what my affy
I certainly didn't mean too but the opposing council was badgering about my new relationship I answered and tried to say I didn't kno some of the stuff she was asking but now I have all these things I have to produce and how do I just make it go away? can we still go to the judge if I don't produce this stuff I have it all I just don't want my life dragged thru the mud I want to be divorced now any tips??

[arabian]

Photographic memory baby......:-)

I could never remember my wedding anniversary date and for many years used to sneak a peak into the china cabinet to look at silver goblets that had the date etched on them! It took 30 yrs of marriage and a divorce for me to finally remember the date. How strange is that? An omen I guess....

I remember the important stuff I guess.

[wretchedotis]

Photographic memory baby......:-)

Well then... Shouldn't you have been able to recall the correct term, then?

:P

[caranna]

@Caranna...I have my CC in two weeks, and you will agree that there are some things that will come out that the other party will probably say isn't true either. The problem with liars is that they eventutally trip up or become complacent

There are only 3 issues that needs to be sorted in my case, and 2 of those were claims brought by the other party, everything in my claim has been agreed on by the other party (on paper until signed off by the courts)

I have evidence and facts (not hearsay/emails), but hard facts that contradicts the 2 claims, so should be interesting to see how these sort themselves out.

Oink, I hope everything turns out well for you at the CC. There are quite a few issues and with the STBX being extremely HC, I suppose it should be very interesting too. I didn't bargain for all this conflict and drama he has been creating. Maybe some day I'll write a book.




But sometimes we need to push ourselves, isn't that what we try to tell our kids? If at first you don't succeed, get up and try again i.e perseverance.[/QUOTE]

Oh I agree completely. I have to push myself every day. The legal proceedings are really starting to move now, especially this week. My lawyer is acting quickly and diligently, and wasting no time. I'm very impressed with him.

[mom2three]

Ringette Player:

You have had incredible advice on here. Keep coming back to it to remind yourself when need be.

You ask whether or not you will need to do another affidavit, provide undertakings.....

If I am not mistaken, the other party had yet to provide an answer, despite your agreement to go through the examination. If that remains the case, you don't be asking your lawyer when you need to provide these. YOU start running the show and tell your lawyer to promptly tell the other party to do their part instead of making you run in circles.

This is a business 'relationship' now, both the action and the one with your lawyer. YOU can dictate that proper action get done and do your part by doing the same, under the law. But you must pull the reigns in, act in a business like manner, and let the other party they are not running the show and let your lawyer know he/she needs to do the job they have been hired to do.

I say screw any undertakings until the other party produces an answer and go from there, proactively, within the procedural rules. At this point I would highly recommend versing yourself in the provincial rules, burning your energies there instead of worrying about how badly you did. I have no doubt you did just fine; they are rattling your chain - fight back with every ounce you have!!!

[ringettteplayer]

Thank you and haha

At the end of the day i am healthy,I have beautiful healthy kids and almost no husband life is good. it is really good.

[sjandme]

I was reflecting on your initial post today and the first responses ... imagining how easy it would be for a lawyer to mess with my mind. One strategy that occurred to me is forcing a deliberate delay in responding. To tell you the truth I was thinking this might help in a job interview too. You know count to 10 before answering any question. I also remember reading somewhere that it is a good idea to actually ask for a moment to think before answering.

If someone is facing an upcoming trial, etc., they could actually practise this technique in every day life. Then it won't feel so artificial for the "big" day.... whatever/whenever that may be.

I'm really sorry to hear that it felt so bad. You are getting a lot of support here now.

In the hands of an experienced, tricky questioner.... well, it can become an ordeal... truth or not.

[ringettteplayer]

Oh my gosh Arabian hilarious!!! True tho

Angry? I couldnt be any happier I'm one step closer to divorce!!!

[arabian]

^oink you sound like the sort of guy who tracks his wife's weight gain/loss! Oh yikes!

[ringettteplayer]

Thank you Arabian thank you everyone you are correct! I appreciate your help!

[ringettteplayer]

I am scatter brained and forgetful and incorrect makes me just that I got the facts the stuff I need etc.,
I think I have to do another affidavidt and possibly be subjected to questioning again what does that mean?
What happens if all undertakings aren't or can't be supplied?

[arabian]

Sometimes it isn't a bad thing for the other side to think they have something on you. They get cocky. All a game of positioning.

Your ex has been playing house all this time with someone else hasn't he? Your personal life is just that. Personal.

If you made some mistakes on your paperwork don't worry. To err is to be human. If you didn't correct your errors then they would have something on you.

Raising kids with no financial assistance from the father is the bottom line here. They are probably desperate to take the focus off of that. You're sounding a little like "road kill" - relax.