Well I was just blindsided

[ringettteplayer]

Unreal I am thee most emotional mess right now blindsided and emotionally spent.

Cross examination was pure hell

[caranna]

Unreal I am thee most emotional mess right now blindsided and emotionally spent.

Cross examination was pure hell

Ringetteplayer, I was thinking of you today and wondering how you were....what happened?

[ringettteplayer]

Thanks Caranna oh I tripped fumbled and contradicted myself not intentionally but none the less I'm just an emotional mess now I am scared i can't sleep I just can't believe I answered a couple of questions improperly. I just feel like I let myself and my kids down kicked in the stomach by him once again by my own fault

[Pursuinghappiness]

Ringette:

I'm so sorry...was this for your questioning?

[ringettteplayer]

Yes ph I was soo stressed

[Pursuinghappiness]

I'm very sorry. If I could tell you anything right now...its that its not nearly as bad as you think. I did 4 hours worth (2 sessions)..and after, I literally went through everything I said and came up with "what I should have said" and could have kicked myself..but when I got the transcripts back...it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.

Its really normal after to be high anxiety....to be re-playing it over and over in your head...and to be finding a lot of short-comings in your answers.

Also, I can tell you that my ex literally lied all the way through his about stuff I have evidence for...and stuff he submitted contradictory evidence for...and nothing has come of it for him, at all. Of course, we haven't been to trial yet.

Please don't stress out too much...Its really normal after going through questioning to have very high anxiety. How did your lawyer say you did?

[caranna]

RP, PH has given you good counsel. I haven't been to court yet but will be at a CC in June. I also have somewhat the same problems you have...physically and emotionally abusive spouse who also blatantly lies.

With the "tripping and fumblin" you say happened...it can work out to your benefit because it can show you were simply trying to be honest and not an accomplished liar.

Please don't ever blame yourself for doing the best you can.

[ringettteplayer]

Yes thank you I was wrong on my dates by a few days and on my numbers and tried to justify my spendings whatever I hope this goes ok I know I was pressured a lot to answer and didn't know or guessed but I didn't mean too I think shit just went sideways I hope the dates don't make me lose my kids or my numbers I don't know I just am sick to my stonach

[OhMy]

Yes thank you I was wrong on my dates by a few days and on my numbers and tried to justify my spendings whatever I hope this goes ok I know I was pressured a lot to answer and didn't know or guessed but I didn't mean too I think shit just went sideways I hope the dates don't make me lose my kids or my numbers I don't know I just am sick to my stonach

Hi Ringetteplayer. Take some deep breaths. Try to look at the larger picture. The questioning was just one small piece of it.

Look at the facts of your case; (correct me if I am wrong here...)

He left and moved out of province.
He initially had very little contact or visitation with the children (by his own accord)
He has refused to pay child support.
etc etc etc....

Those are some pretty big things that a judge will take highly into consideration. Not if you were off on figures or dates by a small degree. Breath, eat well, and get lots of rest. Take a long bath and keep focused on the big picture.

I hope your anxiety subsides. Its not a fun thing to go through.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Yes thank you I was wrong on my dates by a few days and on my numbers and tried to justify my spendings whatever I hope this goes ok I know I was pressured a lot to answer and didn't know or guessed but I didn't mean too I think shit just went sideways I hope the dates don't make me lose my kids or my numbers I don't know I just am sick to my stonach

Ringette:

Take a deep breath...its highly unlikely that you'll lose your kids because you screwed up a few dates...and you certainly won't lose them because you didn't justify your spending completely.

What you're feeling right now is probably pretty normal for anyone who's undergone this type of examination under oath...its a stressful process. I know after I was done the first time, I literally went through everything I said 100 times and figured out a better answer for everything. I worried about the level of my voice...how slow or quickly I answered...the wording I used, etc. I remember stammering a couple times...or correcting myself...all normal. So just have a cup of tea and relax.

I can tell you that while questioning is good to figure out credibility issues..its not the determining factor in most cases..and certainly not with custody. So unless you admitted under oath something completely outrageous like having once sold your child temporarily to crack dealer because he gave you enough money to buy a Happy Meal...you're probably just fine.

You may have to clarify a few things during your next court appearance....but please don't freak out. I know how stressed out you are...I went through it as did a lot of posters on here who've been through trial.

Like I previously said...my ex lied all through his questioning...and so far, not much has happened to him. Although he'll definitely have some explaining to do if we go to trial since his were pretty blatant.

When you feel a little less anxious, think about it some more and figure out how you will do things differently if you have another round of questioning or trial.

And by the way, your ex might not have done so well either.

I'm really sorry you're having a tough day! Hang in there.

[ringettteplayer]

Well I cannot thank you enough and bottom line I didn't put everything into my affidavidt and screwed up on dates and vacations last year big deal in a great mother and if he wants to paint me as a whore so be it let's see him discredit my parenting!!! That I realize I care more about than dragging this through the mud with my new partner which is what he wants to do.

I am scatter brained and forgetful and incorrect that does not make me a bad mom!
I think I have to do another affidavidt and possibly be subjected to questioning again what does that mean?
What happens if all undertakings aren't or can't be supplied?

[arabian]

Sometimes it isn't a bad thing for the other side to think they have something on you. They get cocky. All a game of positioning.

Your ex has been playing house all this time with someone else hasn't he? Your personal life is just that. Personal.

If you made some mistakes on your paperwork don't worry. To err is to be human. If you didn't correct your errors then they would have something on you.

Raising kids with no financial assistance from the father is the bottom line here. They are probably desperate to take the focus off of that. You're sounding a little like "road kill" - relax.

[ringettteplayer]

I am scatter brained and forgetful and incorrect makes me just that I got the facts the stuff I need etc.,
I think I have to do another affidavidt and possibly be subjected to questioning again what does that mean?
What happens if all undertakings aren't or can't be supplied?

[ringettteplayer]

Thank you Arabian thank you everyone you are correct! I appreciate your help!

[arabian]

^oink you sound like the sort of guy who tracks his wife's weight gain/loss! Oh yikes!