What would you do

[Berner_Faith]

If the house sells... what equity is in the house? This equity should be used to pay off all joint debt and then any remainder should be split. I wouldn't offer to take over all this debt right now. Reason being, you take over the debt now, get 50-50, still end up paying CS and then a year from now you may have financial issues. Get rid of the joint debt as soon as possible, it is better to use the house proceeds to do this, that way neither of you have to deal with outstanding debt.

As for 50-50...no don't compromise on that...there really is no reason too, however one tactic that is often mentioned is if she comes in and says, it is in the child's best interest to have a primary home so you get visitation, turn it around on her and say you will agree to that, however you want your house to be primary and she can have visitation. The point of this is to show her, that her plan is unreasonable. If it is good enough for you, it should be good enough for her.

[mom2three]

I can understand and appreciate your desire to maintain 50/50 (and rightly so) and I can also understand why you would feel compelled to 'dangle the carrot' of perceived financial relief on her part so as to maintain 50/50. That being said, I want to scream..........

Custody and financial 'carrots' ought not be comingled. Dangling that carrot in front of her gives her cause to believe that her children are a financial weapon that she can use to manipulate you with.

IMHO, I would take the high road and keep custody and finances separate. Your justification to comingle these is irresponsible really; on the face of it you assume it will save you money but the reality is that you have no control over what she opts to do and it can actually ending up being more costly. Be financially responsible now for the sake of your kids; do not use them as pawns to gamble something you perceive COULD be the outcome.

It isn't easy and I can appreciate 'the carrot'. But your kids are not and never will be carrots. Don't use them in that way.

[DowntroddenDad]

Mom2three I am entirely in agreement.

I have an ex who essentially did the same thing - she agreed to sell the house before we had a separation agreement so that I could pay off the creditors(all the bills in my name as I was the sole earner), then she reneged and put the money into a trust till a SA was signed. Then she changed her agreement on custody issues, knowing I was under a great amount of pressure from creditors, and that my only way out was to cave on custody issues to get a signed agreement. Its a sickening feeling, and I hope my kids never find out.

Custody issues and financial issues should always be separate, unless it is a question of child support in shared custody (50/50 versus 39/61)

[blinkandimgone]

i can understand and appreciate your desire to maintain 50/50 (and rightly so) and i can also understand why you would feel compelled to 'dangle the carrot' of perceived financial relief on her part so as to maintain 50/50. That being said, i want to scream..........

Custody and financial 'carrots' ought not be comingled. Dangling that carrot in front of her gives her cause to believe that her children are a financial weapon that she can use to manipulate you with.

Imho, i would take the high road and keep custody and finances separate. Your justification to comingle these is irresponsible really; on the face of it you assume it will save you money but the reality is that you have no control over what she opts to do and it can actually ending up being more costly. Be financially responsible now for the sake of your kids; do not use them as pawns to gamble something you perceive could be the outcome.

It isn't easy and i can appreciate 'the carrot'. But your kids are not and never will be carrots. Don't use them in that way.

this^^ x 1000.