Children's Allowance

[DadFirst]

Hi all. I found out from my kids the other day that they are not receiving allowance from their mom. Its not because they're not doing their chores, its because "Mommy is going to have a talk with Daddy and you will receive allowance from both of us equally" - wow...first I heard of it.

We have a joint custody arrangement (though I have the kids every second weekend, every Wednesday, and every second Thursday). Is it wrong for me to think that children's allowance comes out of Child Support? At the very least if I wish to give my children extra allowance that should be my prerogative, and not something that needs to be debated and argued about between my ex and I?

There is pressure to pay for half the school trips, etc which I think is something covered out of the amount of CS I pay.

Am I being reasonable, or am I just letting my emotions take over here?

Thanks

[shellshocked22]

I would also be interested in how others answer your question. Personally, I think minor things like that SHOULD be paid for by the parent who is receiving CS. I think CS tables are crazy high but that's another issue......

I can also appreciate that it's "the principle" involved and where does the line get drawn ?

On the other hand, if the amounts are relatively small , is it worth "winning the battle but losing the war " ? Let's face it, either parent, courtesy of our lovely Family Law act, has the potential to make the exes life a living hell. In that respect, an extra $40 a month may be money well spent lol.....

[blinkandimgone]

Regular school trips come out of CS, an expensive travel type trip or camping etc could be considered S.7.

Allowance is a personal choice and she should have spoken to you before promising something to the kids on your behalf. Personally, I don't believe in it, nor am I in a position to provide it....but I still expect my kids to contribute as this is their home, too. And I cover all of their expenses and spending money.

If you choose to toss some cash their way for helping out at your place that is your choice and between you and the kids. She can decide what she wants to do at her place.

[standing on the sidelines]

Regular school trips come out of CS, an expensive travel type trip or camping etc could be considered S.7.

Allowance is a personal choice and she should have spoken to you before promising something to the kids on your behalf. Personally, I don't believe in it, nor am I in a position to provide it....but I still expect my kids to contribute as this is their home, too. And I cover all of their expenses and spending money.

If you choose to toss some cash their way for helping out at your place that is your choice and between you and the kids. She can decide what she wants to do at her place.

we were told growing up that our allowance was a roof over our head, clothes on our backs and food in our bellies. I grew up on a farm so there were pens to be cleaned, animals fed etc.

[mcdreamy]

As per Blink, we've never given our child an allowance... we feed her, clothe her, pay for her education and all the extras because she is part of our family. In return for being a part of our family, she is expected to do her household chores in both houses.

[blinkandimgone]

Now I will say, if I ask either of my kids to do anything extraneous, outside of their regular chores, I will toss some money their way upon completion. However I will only do so if it's done, done properly to the best of their ability and without the expectation of being paid. For me, it's more a reqard for compliance than the actual chore, and I find a lot of the time the kids prefer to do something together rather than just be handed cash.

[billm]

School trips are covered by CS as almost all things are.

Allowance, if she thinks it is required, is covered by CS. She was wrong to tell the kids something before discussing it with you.

You are right.

[Berner_Faith]

We just started giving my bf's kids an 'allowance' of $2 per weekend they are with us... However in order to earn this allowance they are not only expected to keep their rooms cleaned and put their toys away, but they must also help out around the house, either by feeding animals, cleaning litter boxes (with help), laundry, dishes or whatever else is asked of them. The children are only 7 and 4 but asked about a month ago for allowance because S7's friends receive it.

We talked about it for a few weeks, the pros and cons and decided to start the allowance, provided they earn it. I personally feel this creates a sense of responsibility and gives them a sense of savings.

It is a personal choice, they don't receive this at moms house and that is her decision. Just because one parent does, does not mean both have to. The children would not receive 2 allowances if the parents were together, why should your ex expect that now?

[Teenwolf]

If you choose to toss some cash their way for helping out at your place that is your choice and between you and the kids. She can decide what she wants to do at her place.

I like this train of thought.

[first timer]

I have been giving our kids an allowance for awhile; they earn it by doing chores which is really whatever needs to be done around the house (on chore days everyone does their share). The amount is based on their age so S11 gets $11 and D14 gets $14 per month. They both have a savings jar where they put 10% of their allowance as well. THe amount increases by $1 on their respective birthdays. They are learning the value of money. (50/50 shared parenting)