High income earner

[pneumo]

Hello everyone. A newbie from Newbie here. Looking for support and comments from peers going through separation with 2 kids.
I'm a high income earner. 4 years ago, my wife left me with 2 kids. She was cheating on me. We we're in the middle of extensive renovations of our home at the time and of course I got left with the debts right. We now split the kids 50/50. We had signed a prenup so she got 10% of the value of the house ( $100 000). She gets $ 2000/month CS plus I pay for all other expenses ie daycare, sports and other activities. The kids are not seeing the CS believe me. Through all of this, I still have a very good salary but I'm left with debts of over 1 million $. She knows that if all of my income is taken into account, she can get more than $ 6000 per month of CS. She has no debts at all and is earning between $ 50 000 and $ 100 000 per year. She wants to go to court about this but I would like mediation. What are the chances of me getting a break from the court system to rebuild my life?
M

[Tayken]

Hello everyone. A newbie from Newbie here. Looking for support and comments from peers going through separation with 2 kids.
I'm a high income earner. 4 years ago, my wife left me with 2 kids. She was cheating on me. We we're in the middle of extensive renovations of our home at the time and of course I got left with the debts right. We now split the kids 50/50. We had signed a prenup so she got 10% of the value of the house ( $100 000). She gets $ 2000/month CS plus I pay for all other expenses ie daycare, sports and other activities. The kids are not seeing the CS believe me. Through all of this, I still have a very good salary but I'm left with debts of over 1 million $. She knows that if all of my income is taken into account, she can get more than $ 6000 per month of CS. She has no debts at all and is earning between $ 50 000 and $ 100 000 per year. She wants to go to court about this but I would like mediation. What are the chances of me getting a break from the court system to rebuild my life?
M

As you are stating incomes at these levels I am sure there are more than enough Family Law lawyers who can assist you with your matter. I doubt you will meet many "peers" whom post on this site who have 1 million in debt, pays 6000$ a month in CS.

Considering your income, assets, etc... I highly recommend you retain a highly qualified family law barrister and solicitor. You should be able to pay the 500$ per hour rates for one of the top lawyers in the Toronto area with ease.

[OhMy]

Cheating has no relevance in the situation. If you've already done the financial separation, your current debts and hers are also not relevant. How she chooses to spend the CS also...you guessed it...not relevant. For the purpose of 50/50 shared physical custody the offset method is used. If she can get more than $6000/ month offset for two children considering both your incomes in just CS.. The court will not hold your hand. Get a lawyer and make her a reasonable offer. Reasonable meaning more than you are paying now, but less than it will cost if you end up in court. If she refuses mediation, make offers through lawyers. See what she comes back with. Your salary exceeds the tables and there is no telling what a judge will set the CS at. There is much too much room for discretion at that income level. You want to stay out of court.

[arabian]

This isn't a "support" forum. Read some other posts/threads and you will get my message.

One of the more recent posters was devastated when she got criticized for her comments and received less than positive feedback. People on here will post their opinions based on the information you submit. In other words, we aren't here to be your friend.

Welcome to the forum!

[arabian]

With that said....

Friend received 12k a month for CS plus a very expensive home in a beautiful neighborhood. Whenever he pissed her off she would have her lawyer contact him and they seemed to negotiate something new. After the kids finished post-secondary education he didn't have to pay her another dime.

From what I gather from people who receive high level CS the court believes strongly in upholding the lifestyle of the parents pre-divorce for the children. With this is mind I would think you have to accept that your CS will remain relative to your income.

By the way, my friend remarried to another wealthy person and it did not effect her CS.

Comes down to negotiation. I'm sure your ex has sourced out an experienced lawyer who deals in cases relative to your income.

Any high-income divorced person I've known rarely goes to court - most settled. Goes with the mentality that high income earners are more experienced at maintaining wealth.

[blinkandimgone]

This isn't a "support" forum. Read some other posts/threads and you will get my message.

One of the more recent posters was devastated when she got criticized for her comments and received less than positive feedback. People on here will post their opinions based on the information you submit. In other words, we aren't here to be your friend.

Welcome to the forum!

You really need to stop speaking for the masses.

[arabian]

yeah you are probably right blink.... much more fun if they naively fall into arguments with us eh?

When someone opens their post with a comment that they are looking for support I think it's logical that they be set straight.

So very sorry for "speaking for the masses." I stand corrected.

[arabian]

Would be very helpful if someone from the forum pointed this out to new posters though don't you think?

[hadenough]

Welcome. It's all relative. Lotsa money comin' in, lotsa money out. It's all relative. (In many cases).

[FaithandMorals]

Would be very helpful if someone from the forum pointed this out to new posters though don't you think?

And, this is your job?

This is not the first time you have been asked to express only your opinion.

Your opinions are not mine and vice versa.

Some of your posts are downright offensive and low class. Something about calling a multiple mother a breeder comes to mind.

In advance of your anticipated venom; yes dear.

[FaithandMorals]

Pneumo - the answer to your question is all here and has been stated by some posters already.

The amount of zeros involved does not in any way change the principles of Family Law. Have a read, educate your self and get in to see a good family law lawyer asap. Do NOT waste money and time writing a bunch of letters about small stuff to your exes lawyer.

Do be reasonable and do negotiate based on getting on with your life. The less time and energy you spend on dealing with this stuff (once you have it resolved), the better.

Family law disputes suck.

[arabian]

Hey Faith - is there a [edit] going on there that I'm not aware of? LOL

[arabian]

Yes I guess I'm a tad acerbic to some. Probably my ex for sure ! It's called "experienced living" which many people are lacking of. Reality is that the more money you make the more the lawyers make. I'm sure you're in the loop.

One thing that rings true on this forum is that you have to keep "child focused" on your arguments. Pettiness = billable hours.

[arabian]

I find the very title "Faith and Morals" to be offensive. That is my opinion.

You are obviously in your 20s and very, very naive. That is my opinion.

I find your posts to be offensive. That is my opinion.

[hadenough]

Arabian, you are forgetting to include those magic words "in my opinion."

The new poster is looking for feedback on mediation. Beyond me too why he wouldn't just get a lawyer that can properly communicate his wishes on his behalf. Still, doesn't hurt to get feedback from the general public, on a forum like this.

I wish I'd joined this forum long before the actual separation. I will never know now, but I feel that it would have put me in a much better position. I am much more aware now than I was before about Family Law, Lawyers and Court.

I fretted a lot about insignificant things and was at one point sending far too many emails to my lawyer than I should have been. I think back to it now, and I was (by contrast to how I am now) a little dramatic. I thought everything was a big deal. Now? I'm more "yeah, whatever."

I am not by any stretch one of the most informed members on here, but I have gained an incredible amount of valuable insight and knowledge from this site.

*Arabian: you read my mind. We must have been writing @the same time!