Children's allowances - child support

[Me_too]

Hi,

I receive child support from my ex for my 2 children (11 and 14 years old) who live with me, and visit their dad every other weekend.

In order to teach them a little bit about money management, I give them an allowance (50$/month each), providing they do their chores.

They are leaving on vacation with their dad for 2 weeks at the end of the month. He sends a list for them to pack their belongings (they have nothing at his place). On the list, he includes "spending money". The spending money they have is money I give them for chores they do with me.

Isnt he asking a little much here?

[Rioe]

He may just be asking that you help them remember to bring their own money that they have saved. It's their choice how much or if they want to spend it, as that's the point of them learning money management, and if they don't want to, that's their choice. Anything else is up to their dad.

[blinkandimgone]

I would be tempted to clarify what he meant by 'spending money' just so you are aware. However, I am of the opinion that he should be covering all of the expenses related to taking them on vacation. If he chooses to take them shopping etc he should cover the expense of it.

[Me_too]

That is precisely why I have an issue with him asking this.... He doesnt buy them books, games or anything else like this during his weekends. If they want something, they have to buy it tehmselves or wait to be with me.

I understand that I receive child support and it is to support the children financially. But where do you draw the line? They dont work yet. The money they get is from me. And while I agree that they can bring some money to spend on extras (souvenirs for example), I dont they shouldn't be expected to pay their share. He took our son to an amusement park a couple years ago and made him pay a portion of the entrance fee...

I am afraid if dont bring any money they wont get much. If they do bring money, he will ask them to pay a little too much.

[cbarker78]

When my dad would take us on vacation, my mom would give my sister and I $20 each for our own spending money ((yes they were divorced, mom was CP, dad was EOW)) It was left up to us to spend it how we wanted to, but in the end dad would chip in too.....

I don't see it to be a big deal....

[billm]

Technically his CS (and your contributions) covers all the children's normal expenses of which 'spending money' is part of that. Given that you have all the CS (and your contributions), you should give them spending money.

If I were in the same situation (NCP full CS payor), I would pay for my kids entire vacation BUT I would tell them to bring their own money in case they wanted to buy something that I thought was unnecessary or too expensive etc.

So maybe your ex is has the attitude that spending money should come from the parents, and he has already given it to you via CS - and technically (and perhaps reasonably), he is right.

[blinkandimgone]

Again, I think it depends on what he expects it will cover. If he expects the cost of the kids' trip to be covered, meals out and admission etc for places he wants to take them, I dont' believe it's reasonable or covered.

CS covers things like groceries & clothes for the kids, however unless the CP typically feeds the kids at restaurants for every meal of every day it seems unreasonable to me that the CP should provide meal money for the vacation if NCP is choosing to feed them at restaurants etc instead.

CS covers 'normal expenses', I don't believe it covers extra expenses incurred at the NCP's choosing for extra things like HIS vacation with them. He should pay it.

[Me_too]

Thank you for your replies.

I clarified with my ex what his intent was by asking for spending money. He is expecting ~20$ each just so they can buy extras like magazines, souvenirs, or to pay the difference between the 10$ sundae should they not be satisfied with the 2$ ice cream cone their dad is buying them.

I agree with this concept, so the kids will bring spending money (amount determined by them). I just wanted to make sure they were not expected to pay their share of the vacation.

Again, thanks for your comments. I guess I just needed help in focussing on the good intentions of this request

[hadenough]

I agree w/Blink ^^