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I will try to share the pertinent data with as little words (and emotion) as possible.
I want input from you all who may have been through this so i can know what to expect.
split up in 2005. my son was 9 months at the time.
met with lawyers and drew up a plan - custody and visitation- she is the primary parent in that our son spends more than 40% of his time at her home and its his primary residence. My son is with me every other weekend plus an additional night each week. we also agreed to a support plan which my lawyers said was high but i agreed to because i wanted peace and to promote harmony.
at that time we agreed to a payment of the table amounts based on my income as well as additional S7 amounts - the main one being for a full-time nanny. we agreed that we would discuss any additional costs in advance. We didn't sign that separation agreement while we considered reconciliation that never happened, but we lived by its arrangements.
That was 2006.
Through the years our relationship changed and my ex became unhappy with the diminishing amount of input she had into my life - i enforced more boundaries around last minute schedule changes and began asking for us to revisit the need or my contribution to a full time nanny when my son started full time school and she began working from home.
In spring 2011 the ex presented me with a retroactive request for previously undisclosed and undiscussed Section7 payments. going back to 2006 - the very year we made the deal. The 'kitchen-sink' was in that request including amounts covered by the table amounts but also big increases in S7 expenses that had never been discussed or requested of me. The biggest amounts were that in 2006 and 2011 the nanny costs went from $25k a year to $40k.
she is self-employed and runs her own business. She writes off large amounts of her income, keeps portions of her income in the company and as a result on paper looks like she makes significantly less than i do. To the effect that my portion of the costs fluctuates year to year between 68-75% of all S7 expenses.
she works from home although claims she goes into the office. She works parttime flex hours as I know from a long history with her but she claims that she works fulltime and overttime.
She is adamant about keeping the full time nanny even though she is home the majority of the time, works part-time from home and our son is in full time school.
The net difference between what I paid her and she is claiming is $41k. I offered her $20k (money i dont have) to avoid the cost of lawyers. I told her that even though i didn't agree with her that id rather give her this money than giving it to a lawyer - at least it will more directly benefit my son and avoid the resentment of a court proceeding between his parents.
She is saying no and wants it all or will take me to court.
The truth is i don't even have the $20k. I have worked through the lawyers and I have told the ex that even if i wanted to I couldn't give her any more money.
I have no assets - none.
She owns two homes, one free and clear the other with a mortgage offset by renters, goes on two vacations a year, owns a car, shops at Holts and is still covered by my health plan through work (as is my son of course)
I pay on average $31k per year in child support
if she insists on going to court - what might happen? what is the worst case? and what would the court do to get money from a guy who has none nor any access to it?
I want input from you all who may have been through this so i can know what to expect.
split up in 2005. my son was 9 months at the time.
met with lawyers and drew up a plan - custody and visitation- she is the primary parent in that our son spends more than 40% of his time at her home and its his primary residence. My son is with me every other weekend plus an additional night each week. we also agreed to a support plan which my lawyers said was high but i agreed to because i wanted peace and to promote harmony.
at that time we agreed to a payment of the table amounts based on my income as well as additional S7 amounts - the main one being for a full-time nanny. we agreed that we would discuss any additional costs in advance. We didn't sign that separation agreement while we considered reconciliation that never happened, but we lived by its arrangements.
That was 2006.
Through the years our relationship changed and my ex became unhappy with the diminishing amount of input she had into my life - i enforced more boundaries around last minute schedule changes and began asking for us to revisit the need or my contribution to a full time nanny when my son started full time school and she began working from home.
In spring 2011 the ex presented me with a retroactive request for previously undisclosed and undiscussed Section7 payments. going back to 2006 - the very year we made the deal. The 'kitchen-sink' was in that request including amounts covered by the table amounts but also big increases in S7 expenses that had never been discussed or requested of me. The biggest amounts were that in 2006 and 2011 the nanny costs went from $25k a year to $40k.
she is self-employed and runs her own business. She writes off large amounts of her income, keeps portions of her income in the company and as a result on paper looks like she makes significantly less than i do. To the effect that my portion of the costs fluctuates year to year between 68-75% of all S7 expenses.
she works from home although claims she goes into the office. She works parttime flex hours as I know from a long history with her but she claims that she works fulltime and overttime.
She is adamant about keeping the full time nanny even though she is home the majority of the time, works part-time from home and our son is in full time school.
The net difference between what I paid her and she is claiming is $41k. I offered her $20k (money i dont have) to avoid the cost of lawyers. I told her that even though i didn't agree with her that id rather give her this money than giving it to a lawyer - at least it will more directly benefit my son and avoid the resentment of a court proceeding between his parents.
She is saying no and wants it all or will take me to court.
The truth is i don't even have the $20k. I have worked through the lawyers and I have told the ex that even if i wanted to I couldn't give her any more money.
I have no assets - none.
She owns two homes, one free and clear the other with a mortgage offset by renters, goes on two vacations a year, owns a car, shops at Holts and is still covered by my health plan through work (as is my son of course)
I pay on average $31k per year in child support
if she insists on going to court - what might happen? what is the worst case? and what would the court do to get money from a guy who has none nor any access to it?
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